Say Please.

"It's better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission."

cynical business communicator

On those days when bureaucratic red tape gets to even the most patient business communicator, the marketing phrase, "Just do it," seems like the easiest course of action. If an apology is in order later, so be it.

Whether or not that works for the bosses, it's not the trend when it comes to customers.

The marketing mantra, "The customer is king," leads to another attitude, one that recognizes that just doing it just doesn't cut it, if doing it means forcing your message into your customer's face.

"All business in a democratic society begins with public permission and exists by public approval."

Arthur W. Page

Maybe it's always been this way, but such public approval has a name now -- actually several names. Some call it permission marketing, that is, asking the customer permission to market certain products or services directly. Or maybe you know it as personalization, as customers reveal something about themselves that allows the marketer to target additional products or services of related interest. Still another set of similar buzzwords: opt in and opt out, where customers can choose to receive or not to receive certain information about products and services.

Technology keeps track of who's given permission, who has revealed personal preferences, and who's opted in or out. The Internet has the reach to address each individual, well, individually, in ways mass marketing never could and with the speed individual sales calls couldn't achieve. A modern classic example is amazon.com. Buy a book online there, and you can learn titles of other books you're likely to be interested in (based on buying patterns of similar readers) and how other readers rate them.

Bell Atlantic has found a way to give media reporters exactly the news releases they will find useful. it offers a News Made to Order site and promises to "deliver new information on your choice of topics straight to your e-mail" and "in the format that works best for you." It saves time.

If this topic interests you, opt in to an e-mailed newsletter called Inside 1to1 from the Peppers and Rogers Group. The subscription is free, and so are the sales pitches -- always disclosed -- that explain how other companies are customizing products and services using what they learn about individual customers.

Because personalization is database driven, you don't have to write a different message to each person; computers do it for you. Content becomes real-time and data driven. Now that may be appealing in some ways, but why would I want to tell a company something about me, offering permission to get the e-mail equivalent of sales calls? I'd do so only with a few stipulations:

* Trust. From the beginning, I'd need to trust the organization asking something about me. A preexisting relationship or successful purchase might be all it takes. It would also be nice to know how my name and associated information will be used.

Bell Atlantic, for example, is straightforward with press representatives who go to its media relations pages: "The data collected on this site will only be used to determine which documents to send to you and will not be used for other purposes."

* Greater return. If I'm going to sacrifice a little privacy, I'd expect something in return. Maybe fewer irrelevant, bothersome direct mailings. Maybe the opportunity to connect with other similar consumers to find out how they are making the best use of a product or service. Maybe the chance to participate in true transformation through an online community.

* Easy business relationships. There s something comforting about doing business with someone who knows your name and something about you -- the momand-pop corner-store phenomenon. Many times have I made a phone call to a company or vendor, been greeted by a disembodied voice asking me to key in my identifying number, only to be routed to a human who again asks me for my identifying number plus my name and address. Now how can I expect my individual situation to be effectively handled by a company that has to ask redundant questions? (Yes, I understand the processes that lead companies do this, but it doesn't change the perception.)

Targeted communication, with its benefits and drawbacks, applies to any stakeholder -- employee, reporter, donor, activist -- not just the consumer, of course. And technology like data mining and web customization have made this a level playing field -- not something available only to the richest or smartest organizations.

But no doubt about it, if you've got something to hide, or you're just a neurotically private person, this is not your world of choice. Despite regulation, particularly in Europe, which limits sharing of data about consumers, parts of your life could become an open book in database after database.

"You have zero privacy anyway... Get over it."

Scott MeNealy

Sheri Rosen, ABC, is director of organizational communication at USAA, a financial services company in San Antonio, Texas.