SXSW: South by Southwest: Austin, Texas/March 2005.

ALTHOUGH TEXAS ISN'T the largest of all 50 states, that's their claim to fame. When Alaska became a state in 1959, Texas became the second largest state. Maybe it's because nobody likes coming in second that Texans feel it necessary to make and sell everything big.

Big steaks, big Jelly Beans, big hats, big, bigger, biggest. Keeping with this Texas tradition that bigger is better, Austin's South by Southwest is no exception. It's the biggest, bestest, longest music extravaganza I've ever been to, where record labels get to showcase their bands and bands get to showcase their talent, while looking for bigger label deals. There are over 1,300 acts from around the globe on over 50 stages in downtown Austin. Picture all that, then pour a ridiculous amount of free beer on top, and you have yourself a big mess.

It was beautiful; while all the under-paid big wigs in "the biz" tried desperately to keep their heads screwed on properly so they wouldn't get in trouble with all the over-paid bigger wigs, who were slurping down free booze and sealing faux deals with their faux friends, all the punkers were at ThrasheFs party where the beer was eight bucks but nobody was old enough to drink anyway. OK that's a lie--all our friends from Jade Tree and Fat Wreck Chords are old enough to drink, but I think they had drink tickets. Anyway, Against Me!, These Arms Are Snakes, From Ashes Rise, Smoke or Fire, Breather Resist and The Loved Ones all gave face-melting performances. It was so loud and I'm such a pussy that I shoved my earplugs so far in my ears that I couldn't get them out for a week.

SXSW, fuck yeah.