SWITCH ON!; True romance that's all at sea.
Where there's muck, there's brass, or so the gold-digging June Whitfield thinks.
The veteran actress plays the mercenary Irene who has her clutches into Edward Woodward's retiring binman Nev in this delightful comedy drama.
Nev and Irene have gone to Fleetwood to tie the knot at the seaside.
But, back home, his mates have decided that the blushing bride-to-be is only after his money.
So they hotfoot it to the coast to try and stop the wedding.
But tragedy is about to strike and change everyone's lives forever. Woodward, who is in award- winning form as Nev, says: "Nev's fallen in love and he has rediscovered his zest for life in a way which changes him completely and utterly."
There's more romance, too, for Sharon, played by the brilliant Kathy Burke, and Ken (Neil Dudgeon), as sparks fly between them once again.
MILLAR'S CHOICE - HOLLYWOOD LOVERS
THE chances of enjoying wedded bliss in Hollywood are not very high.
For six out of 10 of Tinseltown's marriages finish up on the rocks.
So there should be no shortage of tales of marital doom and gloom when this series looks at divorce - Hollywood style.
Movie star Goldie Hawn has experience of marital hassle on and off the screen.
Her latest hit film, The First Wives Club, is about a series of failed relationships and Goldie twice went through the trauma of divorce before settling down with Kurt Russell.
The usual suspects are featured tonight.
Which means bitingly funny comments from comedienne Joan Rivers, Alana Stewart and Amanda De Cadenet.
Olivia Goldsmith, the author of The First Wives Club, also throws in her two cents worth.
FACTUAL - HOW DO THEY DO THAT? Eamonn Holmes and Esther McVey, left, find out why babies can swim underwater. Plus a look at the oldest ever British movie.
CHAT - DES O'CONNOR TONIGHT: The usual mixture of music and comedy. Tonight's vocal stars are Lionel Richie and Michelle Gayle, right. Phil Cool and Eddie Izzard provide the laughs.
SPORT - A QUESTION OF SPORT: Team captains Ally McCoist and John Parrott are joined by golfer Laura Davies, jockey Tony McCoy, rugby's Lawrence Dallaglio and David Sea- man, the England goalie who saved THAT penalty.
BBC1 , 7.00pm
SOAP - CORONATION STREET: Ken Barlow (Bill Roache) discovers that his job may be in jeopardy. Gail and Alma's friendship is also destined to go out the window as the fall- out from Baldwin's antics continues.
FOOD - RICK STEIN'S FRUITS OF THE SEA: A taste of heaven for seafood fans as Stein goes to Brittany in northern France and conjures up a fabulous squid stew.
YESTERDAY'S VIEW - ALL OVER THE SHOP
The makers of this morning game show must figure that Napoleon got it wrong when he said we were a nation of shopkeepers.
The basis of the programme is that we are a bunch of shoppers because this is, as far as I'm aware, the first consumer game show.
Which only goes to prove that, as telly heads further into the `make it cheap and cheerful' philosophy, just about anything can be turned into a programme.
It's all about being able to remember telly commercial jingles, guess the cost of stuff and know consumer rights.
The questions, delivered by Paul Ross in as entertaining a fashion as he could muster, were hardly brain of Britain category.
For instance, contestants - like Thora Hird, who might have wondered why she was there - had to taste Belgian chocolate ice creams and place them in order of cost.
Another taste test involved generous measures of Irish cream liqueur. Comic Graham Norton joked that he wasn't interested in guessing because he was drunk.
Which might have been one way to endure a pointless telly exercise which was never funny enough.
What it did prove was that given a better format, Paul Ross might make his mark as a mainstream presenter.
Top Film - GALLIPOLI: War drama with Mel Gibson, left, as a sprinter who quits the outback to fight. This 1981 drama also features Bill Kerr.