SURFING THE TUBE.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

TODAY

``Big Monday'' or Super Mario? ESPN's famed Monday college basketball tripleheader starts today with the Big East/Big 12/Big Mountain West games (OK, so the last one isn't called ``Big,'' but the Big West isn't around any more, so what are we supposta do?). Over on ESPN2, Mario Lemieux's point-per-minute comeback continues when Pittsburgh visits Washington. What's more, this is a special ``NHL RULES!'' presentation that attempts to give casual and avid fans an education about the game with additional graphics and explanations about strategy, rules and other nuances. Game on, either way. NHL: Pittsburgh at Washington, ESPN2, 4 p.m. College basketball: Notre Dame vs. Seton Hall, ESPN, 4 p.m.; Iowa State vs. Oklahoma State, ESPN, 6 p.m.; Wyoming vs. Utah, ESPN, 9 p.m.

TUESDAY

We'd normally recommend adding another porcelain statue of Elvis and his hound dog, but QVC breaks from regular programming and has John Elway on as the special guest on the two-hour ``football collectibles'' segment. Take a second look at the Elway four-piece TV tray set with leather straps for the remote control, multiple sound effects and the No. 7 in cubic zirconia. Just stunning. ``Football Collectibles,'' QVC, 5 p.m. ``Any Given Sunday,'' HBO, 8 p.m.

WEDNESDAY

Another delimma for Mrs. Dunleavy. Does she watch her husband try to outfox Larry Brown with his Hack-A-Iverson defensive scheme or check out her son's long-term prospects when the Dukies play another key ACC contest? Again, the remote control is key. And you hear about that Elway four-piece TV tray set? . . . NBA: Portland at Philadelphia, TNT, 5 p.m. College basketball: Duke vs. North Carolina State, ESPN, 6 p.m. (preceded by North Carolina vs. Maryland at 4 p.m.)

THURSDAY

In case you missed it, here's Jim Rome's take on Tiger Woods' appearance last week at the Orange Bowl (pictured, with Alex Rodriguez): ``Eldrick dyed his dome blond. Very natural, E, it looks great. Not really. Are you the greatest golfer in the world or an extra in a Sisqo video? What are you doing? Then again, what does it really matter?'' Tiger's 2001 season starts today in Hawaii and his 'do is expected to be ``back to normal,'' says his agent, Mark Steinberg. So pass the poi and enjoy. Golf: PGA Mercedes Championships from Kapalua, Hawaii, first round, ESPN, 4 p.m. (second, third and final rounds are on ESPN Friday through Sunday at 4:30 p.m.); College basketball: USC at UCLA, FSN, 7:30 p.m.

FRIDAY

With that ``Monday Night Football'' gig over, Dennis Miller returns to HBO for the start of his eighth season on ``Dennis Miller Live'' (uh, live, except here, where it's on tape at 11:30 p.m.) with guest Rob Lowe. We've actually seen Denny and Rob sitting together courtside at Lakers games. Guess this means they won't be dating at Staples tonight. NBA: Cleveland at Lakers, FSN, 7:30 p.m.

SATURDAY

Did you know: Villanova leads the nation in shooting percentage - 53.5 - and Wildcats big man Michael Bradley is among the nation's leading scorers. Now why should you care? 'Cause today, they play in Westwood. College basketball: Villanova at UCLA, Channel 2, 1 p.m. NHL: St. Louis at Kings, FSN, 6:30 p.m. NBA: Lakers at Utah, Channel 9, 6 p.m.

SUNDAY

John Randle loose in Jersey and Ray Lewis attacks Oakland's ``Black Hole.'' Neither of these scenarios can have a pretty ending. NFL playoffs: NFC championship: Minnesota at N.Y. Giants, Channel 11, 9:30 a.m.; AFC championship: Baltimore at Oakland, Channel 2, 1 p.m.

CAPTION(S):

2 photos, box

Photo: (1) TIGER ``E'' WOODS

(2) ALEX ``A-ROD'' RODRIGUEZ

Box: TV TODAY