SURFING THE TUBE.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

TODAY

The only team in the Western Conference with a worse road record than the Clippers is their opponents tonight. League rules dictate these two play until someone actually wins. NBA: Denver at Clippers, Fox Sports Net, 7:30 p.m.; NHL: Kings at Ducks, Fox Sports Net 2, 7:30 p.m.

TUESDAY

Did we mention Dan Issel won't be accompanying Nick Van Exel and the boys this excursion? And that Shaq is supposed to be back just in case the Lakers need him? NBA: Denver at Lakers, Fox Sports Net, 7:30 p.m.; Philadelphia at

Washington, TBS, 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY

In an incredible stroke of bad luck for the Clippers, the Staples Center employees misplace their personalized home hardwood. Rather than use the Lakers', they opt to have the Sparks' court assembled for them. No one notices until Michael Olowakandi goes 9 for 9 from 3-point range midway through the first quarter. NBA: Lakers at Clippers, Channel 9, TNT, 7:30 p.m.; College basketball: Arizona at Arizona State, Fox Sports Net, 7:30 p.m.

THURSDAY

Stanford's Cardinal has the Top 25 ranking, but Cal's Bears have the high-caliber defense - best in the Pacific-10 Conference so far this season. The Bears, who face USC tonight and UCLA on Saturday, have held their opponents to 60 points or less for three consecutive games, and they've done it in half their 16 games this season. No wonder they're 13-3. College basketball: Stanford at UCLA, Fox Sports Net, 7:30 p.m.; Cal at USC, Fox Sports Net 2, 9:30 p.m. (delayed)

FRIDAY

Whoever ends up facing Jennifer Capriati in the finals of the Australian Open - Venus Williams or Martina Hingis appear to be the best candidates - should make this finale worth watching. As for tomorrow men's final ... Tennis: Australian Open women's singles final, ESPN, 6:30 p.m. (ESPN has the men's final Saturday at 7 p.m.); NBA: San Antonio at Lakers, Fox Sports Net, 7:30 p.m.

SATURDAY

Ray Bourque has left. Peter Forsberg hasn't dressed all year. And Patrick Roy has to be old. So how do the Avs keep winning? Aside from the Blake guy. NHL: Colorado at Kings, Fox Sports Net, 1 p.m.; College basketball: Stanford at USC, Channel 7, 3 p.m.; Cal at UCLA, Fox Sports Net, 5 p.m.; Boxing: Shane Mosley vs. Vernon Forest, and Arturo Gatti vs. Terronn Millett, HBO, 6:30 p.m.

SUNDAY

There are 98 of the top 125 money winners from last year's PGA Tour competing this week in the fan-friendly Phoenix Open. But Tiger Woods isn't showing up, resting for next week's Pebble Beach extravaganza. Fine with us. Now we can save the space for more football and the Lakers-Sixers rematch. NFL playoffs: AFC championship: New England at Pittsburgh, Channel 2, 9:30 a.m.; NFC championship: Philadelphia at St. Louis, Channel 11, 1 p.m.; NBA: Lakers at Philadelphia, Channel 4, 9 a.m.; PGA: Phoenix Open final round, Channel 2, 1 p.m.

CAPTION(S):

photo, box

Photo:

Cal's defense never stops, as A.J. Diggs, left, shows against Washington and Grant Leep during last weekend's Pacific-10 Conference play.

Cameron/Associated Press

Box:

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