SURFING THE TUBE.

Byline: Tom Hoffarth

TODAY

In the spirit of MTV's ``Road Rules,'' which is filled with crazy-named kids driving each other crazy, we give you the Kings' season-opening road trip through the Eastern region featuring the trials and tribulations of Luc, Ziggy, Mattias, Jozef, Aki and Stephane. There will, of course, be a TV crew in tow. But after it's done, this will be a bonding experience the gang will remember for the rest of their hockey lives. NHL: Kings at St. Louis, FSW, 5 p.m. (the trip continues Wednesday at Florida on FSW and ESPN2 at 4:30 p.m., Thursday at Tampa Bay on FSW at 4:30 p.m. and Saturday at Washington on FSW at 4 p.m.)

TUESDAY

It's like, you know, the start of the second season for ABC's dramedy ``Sports Night.'' But after watching three baseball best-of-five playoff series openers, they'd better be dedicating a bunch of time to highlights and less time on those lame off-camera romances. MLB playoffs: Cincinnati/Houston at Atlanta, ESPN, 1 p.m.; Texas at New York Yankees, Channel 4, 5 p.m., Houston/New York Mets at Arizona, ESPN, 8 p.m.; ``Sports Night,'' Channel 7, 9:30 p.m. (The Cincinnati/Houston-Atlanta series continues Wednesday on ESPN at 1 p.m. then Friday, Saturday and Sunday TBA; the Texas-New York Yankees series continues Thursday on Fox Channel 11 at 5 p.m. with Saturday and Sunday TBA; the Houston/New York Mets-Arizona series continues Wednesday on ESPN at 8 p.m., with Friday, Saturday and Sunday TBA)

WEDNESDAY

Cheer up: Rod Beck has replaced ``May Day'' Malone as the Sox's insurance policy for the Martinez brothers. MLB playoffs: Boston at Cleveland, Channel 11, 5 p.m. (The series continues Thursday on ESPN at 1 p.m., with Saturday and Sunday TBA)

THURSDAY

Incidental college football anyone? NCAA: Louisville at Army, FSW2, 4 p.m.; Syracuse at Pittsburgh, ESPN, 5 p.m.

FRIDAY

After Saturday's Stars-Ducks game, when Mike Modano and Joey Nieuwendyk were sent head-first into the board, Dallas coach Ken Hitchcock promised payback when they meet again in the Ducks' home opener here. ``I think those two players (Ruslan Salei, who decked Modano, and Pascal Trepanier, called for boarding Nieuwendyk) are either the two stupidest players in the league or they just brought themselves a hell of a war,'' Hitchcock said. Hey, guys, keep it clean. A potential new Ducks owner could be watching. NHL: Dallas at Ducks, FSW2, 6:30 p.m.

SATURDAY

USC will be able to gauge Notre Dame's state of mind by watching a Pac-10 cohort take on the Irish the week before the Trojans move into South Bend. Meanwhile, the SEC can't get much hotter matchups before the season-enders. NCAA: Arizona State at Notre Dame, Channel 4, 11:30 a.m.; Florida at LSU, Channel 2, 12:30 p.m.; Georgia at Tennessee, ESPN, 4 p.m.

SUNDAY

The NFL's version of ``Baywatch'' watches Brett Favre run across Lambeau Field with one of those red floaties to save the Pack again. NFL: Tampa Bay at Green Bay, ESPN, 5:15 p.m.

CAPTION(S):

Photo, box

PHOTO Congratulations, Todd Zeile, you're running head-first into the New York Yankees on Tuesday.

Associated Press

Box: TV Today