SUPER BOWLS AT THE END OF THIS LACMA LECTURE, PLEASE PUT DOWN THE SEAT.

Byline: Barbara De Witt Staff Writer

'HAIL TO THE LAVATORY,'' says Lady Lucinda Lambton, Great Britain's toilet historian.

The witty author of ``Temples of Convenience'' (St. Martin's Press), an exploration of the history of the lavatory, will explain the importance of toilets throughout history Thursday at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art.

In her lecture for the Decorative Arts Council, Lambton will cover such historical details as a ``20-seater toilet on the Roman Wall in Great Britain where men would sit side by side relishing rather than recoiling from each other's company.'' She goes through the last two decades of the 19th century - a time when Britain ruled the sanitary waves with a glittering array of innovations and designs - and documents it with a slide show. For more photos, you'll have to see the book, which is one of nine she's written on historic icons and British life.

Long before we had gleaming porcelain thrones, there were holes in the ground, seats built over rivers and lakes, and the handy chamber pot. With no sewers or plumbing system, waterborne diseases such as typhus, smallpox, dysentery and cholera quickly spread through cities, according to PlumbingWorld.com.

The Web site devoted to toilets cites the early Romans as the first to think about luxury plumbing, using huge aqueducts conveying millions of gallons of water daily. Water closets and outhouses followed. Finally somebody designed a toilet that would flush with a valve-and-siphon arrangement.

The English sanitary engineer Thomas Crapper (yep, that's how it got its name) is credited with being the first to invent a flush toilet, in the 1800s.

Toilet styles have changed over the last century. Commodes were made of brass and wood, then porcelain, plastic and back to porcelain. They're available in myriad colors, but white remains the classic, says Dave Glassman of Restoration Hardware stores. The store carries a variety of white things for the bathroom (shower curtains, wood-framed mirrors and cabinets), but no toilets are included in the displays.

To see the latest in seating arrangements, you'll have to go to a home improvement store. Many designs, like those by American Standard, feature the classic white pedestal with the newer elongated bowls. The company even makes a scaled-down version for potty training.

On Jan. 26, HGTV's ``Super Sunday of Style'' shows includes ``Top 10 Most Fabulous Bathrooms'' a one-hour special at 9 p.m. It gives you a peek inside 10 fantasy loos, including that of ``Chicago'' producer Martin Richard.

For decorative ideas on how to make a pretty privy, take Elle Decor Portfolio's new book ``Bathrooms'' (Filipacchi Publishing; $14.95) to your reading room. It's a compact, lavishly photographed book with some of the most exotic bathrooms in the world, designed by the likes of Philippe Starck and Andree Putman for fashion kings such as Karl Lagerfeld, who apparently likes to hold court in his loo, as he's got upholstered chairs pulled up to the side of the bathtub. Yet there's no mention of toilet styles in this book.

Look to these books for more on the commode:

-- Penny Colman's ``Toilets, Bathtubs, Sinks & Sewers: A History of the Bathroom'' (Simon & Schuster Children's Books)

-- Anna Ciddor's ``Unplugged!: The Bare Facts on Toilets Through the Ages'' (Allen & Unwin Pty.)

-- Sherman Hines and Don Harron's ``The Outhouse Revisited'' (Firefly Books)

-- Julie L. Horan's ``The Porcelain God: A Social History of the Toilet'' (Carol Publishing Group)

TEMPLES OF CONVENIENCE

What: Lecture by Lady Lucinda Lampton.

Where: Brown Theater, L.A. County Museum of Art, 5905 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles.

When: 7 p.m. Thursday.

Tickets: $15. Call [phone].

CAPTION(S):

2 photos

Photo:

(1 -- 2) American Standard offers porcelain permutations such as the Baby Devoro, above, a toilet made just for tots, and the Reminiscence Bidet, inset.