STRIPPING IT DOWN TO ESSENTIALS.

Byline: Tom Hoffarth The Media

Real answers to fake questions from phony readers about true stuff:

--Q: What do you make of CBS sideline gal Jill Arrington posing scantily for a men's magazine? Isn't there a huge credibility issue here?

- Suzy K., Bristol, Conn.

--A: You can look at this a lot of different ways.

Vertically. Horizontally. Upside down.

But hold it up to the light and it's all transparent.

Blondie's got no credibility to start with, so how's she going to lose it by squeezing into some cut-off jeans, unbuttoning her blouse and giving the camera a come-hither stare?

Heck, she admits in the small print next the photos in For Him Magazine (pages 32-34) that her real name isn't even Jill. It's Tiffany.

``I think of Jill as my stage name,'' she said, bringing an immediate vision of a gentleman's club near LAX.

``Arrington's a moron, she can't help it,'' responded Keith Olbermann, a single man, doing an ABC Radio commentary about the spread.

``Arrington does disservice to herself, other female journalists as pinup,'' screams the headline in USA Today about the scandalous layout. In the story, ESPN's Robin Roberts and CBS' Lesley Visser are ``disappointed'' that Arrington chose to flaunt her sexuality.

First off, who ever called Arrington a journalist?

She's eye candy, hired by male producers at CBS for a predominantly male audience, asked to deliver some innocuous tidbit as breaking news during lulls in the action. This magazine exposure will only help her and CBS in a lurid way.

Second, I've got no problem with any member of the male species loitering at the local newsstand to flip through the current issues of For Him Magazine (where Arrington resides on pages 32-34) or Maxim magazine (see Fox's Lisa Guerrero with some lacy black thing on page 162). It's a reflex action.

Just don't buy the rag, you drooling dope. Have you lost all your senses?

--Q: I kind of understand why Magic Johnson would join TNT's ``Inside The NBA'' show for next season. But isn't there the potential for trouble if the future mayor of Los Angeles puts himself in the line of fire with what could come out of Charles Barkley's pie hole?

- J. Buss, Bel Air.

--A: Too late for that.

TNT's new ``Magic Half Hour'' also includes Kenny Smith, don't forget. When asked what it'll be like jostling for airtime with that opinionated duo, Magic told reporters this week: ``We're like Larry, Harry and Moe - we're the 'Three Stooges.' ''

Paging Dr. Howard.

--Q: The WNBA playoffs start when? And on what channel?

--A: I'm drawing a blank.

--Q: How much more of Jay Mohr's moronic show on ESPN?

--A: Apparently not much.

Mohr, appearing on Craig Kilborn's late-night CBS show Wednesday, broke the news that the boys in Bristol, Conn., didn't pick up his option for a second season. The first season ends at the conclusion of next month.

Mohr went on to complain about problems booking guests that he wanted vs. what ESPN's head of original programming, Mark Shapiro, wanted and ended up calling him a bleeped-out word.

``We tried three different time slots, we promoted it extensively (i.e.: painting over the murals on the Hotel Figueroa outside of Staples Center), we feel we did everything we could to support the program,'' ESPN spokesman Chris LaPlaca said.

Having a say in the content would have helped more.

On Mohr's show Tuesday, he had a monologue rant about why watching Little League baseball was better than paying $200 to take the family to a big-league game - ``You might even meet a single mom and they put out and that's free.'' He also had a piece on the new sport SlamBall in which he asked one of the participants whether former Olympic diver Greg Louganis, who is openly gay, would be good at it. ``You follow my logic on this?'' Mohr probed further to blank stares.

Logically, this kind of show needs a host who can actually interact with guests (get Jim Rome on board) and let Mohr stick with the taped funny stuff, as long as he has someone to help reel him in.

--Q: You have to choose between watching a Little League World Series game or exhibition NFL. What'll it be?

- B. Musburger, New York.

--A: This social dilemma came up the other day during ESPN's daily therapy show, ``Pardon The Interruption.''

Tony Kornheiser, apparently weary these days of bad-mouthing any valued ESPN programming, sided with little kids' baseball. Michael Wilbon strained a bit for an opinion before opting for no-names in painted helmets clashing.

Our solution is much simpler: Locate the remote under the stack of newspapers, turn the TV off and go off to a newsstand to loiter. Follow my logic on this?

SOUND BYTES

WHAT SMOKES

--The eighth edition of the ESPN-created X Games takes it to another extreme with camera coverage that delivers enough drama to force viewers at home to seek more Dramamine. Introduced this year will be the ImageCam (it runs on a rail alongside the dirt bike competitions) and expanded use of the HelmetCam (used for the first time on the BMX riders for front and rear racing viewing). ``It's the most advanced technological package we've had to offer for an X Games to date,'' senior coordinating producer Rich Feinberg said. Coverage that's taped and neatly packaged starts Saturday on ABC and runs through Thursday.

WHAT CHOKES

--Laila Ali vs. Suzy Taylor in a women's super-middleweight bout Saturday. On pay-per-view. For $24.95. Take 30 seconds and figure out what's wrong with this.

CAPTION(S):

photo, box

Photo:

Here's what Jill (Tiffany) Arrington looks like in this month's issue of FHM.

FHM Magazine

Box:

SOUND BYTES (see text)