STORY'S CORNY - AND WHERE ARE THE PANDAS?There was a time when you could look at an IMAX IMAX Noun a film projection process that produces an image ten times larger than standard movie titled ``China: The Panda Adventure'' and expect to see a beautifully shot, reasonably diverting nature movie. It's a wonder then that this new IMAX offering contains less than a minute of panda footage in its first half-hour, preferring instead to concentrate on a simplistic sim·plism n. The tendency to oversimplify an issue or a problem by ignoring complexities or complications. [French simplisme, from simple, simple, from Old French; see simple telling of an Ugly American's soulless soul·less adj. Lacking sensitivity or the capacity for deep feeling. soul  less·ly adv. journey to a ``backward'' world. The Ugly American
Ugly American is an epithet used to refer to perceptions of arrogant, demeaning, thoughtless behaviors of Americans abroad. is Ruth Harkness Ruth Elizabeth Harkness (21 September 1900–20 July 1947) was an American fashion designer and socialite, who traveled to China in 1936 and brought back the first live giant panda to the United States - not in a cage, or on a leash, but wrapped in her arms. (Maria Bello, still looking - and acting - dazed daze tr.v. dazed, daz·ing, daz·es 1. To stun, as with a heavy blow or shock; stupefy. 2. To dazzle, as with strong light. n. A stunned or bewildered condition. from her ``Coyote Ugly'' experience), a widowed New York New York, state, United States New York, Middle Atlantic state of the United States. It is bordered by Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Atlantic Ocean (E), New Jersey and Pennsylvania (S), Lakes Erie and Ontario and the Canadian province of socialite who travels to China in 1936 to continue her husband's quest to study the giant panda. Once there, she treats condescendingly the people she meets, throwing coins at the Chinese to help her travel up river. Whether Harkness actually behaved this badly is unknown, but the naive screenplay and direction reduces history to the sort of banal cliches that went out of style with the Disney live-action adventure movies of the 1950s. Ruth races the heartless hunter ``Dak'' Johnston (Xander Berkeley) to panda country. Johnston, upon meeting the fetching widow, tells her, ``Take my advice. Finish your business and go home, back to your dress designs.'' Johnston sports a handlebar mustache, which he actually twirls at one point. Remarkably, there isn't a scene where Johnston ties Ruth to railroad tracks. The 50-minute movie finally gets around to some cute panda footage in its final minutes, mostly of them lolling around, eating bamboo and wrestling with one another. The narrator NARRATOR. A pleader who draws narrs serviens narrator, a sergeant at law. Fleta, 1. 2, c. 37. Obsolete. gravely intones at one point that ``there is so little known about pandas.'' So why not make a straight documentary about the remarkable creatures instead of a bad melodrama? Or at least remember to show the playful pandas in the first place? Best bet: Save your money and channel surf between the Discovery and Nature channels instead. ``CHINA: THE PANDA ADVENTURE'' (Not rated: contains one scene, not seen, of a panda death) The stars: Maria Bello, Xander Berkeley. Behind the scenes: Directed by Robert M. Young. Screenplay by Paul Andersen and John Wilcox and Jeanne Rosenberg. Released by IMAX Films. Running time: 50 minutes. Playing: Universal City Walk IMAX Theater, Universal City. Our rating: Two stars CAPTION(S): photo Photo: Maria Bello cuddles a panda in ``China: The Panda Adventure,'' playing at the IMAX Theater in Universal City. |
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