START AT THE TOP SPRING CLEANING TIPS FROM THE EXPERTS.

Byline: Barbara De Witt Staff Writer

Spring cleaning isn't a made-up ritual.

Neatniks across America's heartland perform it as soon as the snow melts, which is usually this month. March is the official month for spring cleaning, says Heloise of the nationally syndicated column ``Hints From Heloise.''

``Spring cleaning originated in the era when wood stoves were used, because the smoke left an oily residue throughout the home. So, when people took down their stove, they'd clean everything,'' recalls Schar Ward, author of ``Coming Clean: Dirty Little Secrets From a Professional Housecleaner'' (Book Peddlers; $9.95).

To get your home squeaky clean, we asked these domestic goddesses to share some of their dirty little secrets. < ``Touch everything, and always clean top to bottom, left to right,'' instructs Ward, who runs the Domestic Engineering cleaning service in Minnesota, where she has cleaned more than 10,000 homes.

``Have a plan of attack and the right tools, products and supplies. Don't wait until you're half done to discover you don't have a step ladder to clean the ceiling fan or change light bulbs,'' says Heloise, whose newest book is ``Heloise Conquers Stinks and Stains'' (Penguin; $10.95). She legally changed her name to Heloise to continue her mother's column.

``Dejunk, defend, decide'' is the battle cry of Mary Ellen Pinkham, star of HGTV'S ``TIPical Mary Ellen.'' In her latest book, ``Mary Ellen's Guide to Good Enough Housekeeping'' (St. Martin's Griffin; $11.95), this former cleaning lady stresses that our homes don't have to be as clean as an operating room.

So, before March slips into April, arm yourself with an arsenal of cleaning supplies and begin your spring cleaning.

Grab a ladder

First, take everything off the walls. Then, as Heloise says, get out the ladder, pull on your rubber gloves and begin washing the walls, top to bottom. You can use any household cleaner, but if the walls are greasy, Heloise says ammonia and water is great, while TSP or vinegar-water works well, too. Just be sure you rinse thoroughly and dry.

While you're up on the ladder, check the smoke alarms, light fixtures and ceiling fans. Replace bulbs and batteries, and wipe the blades and chandelier crystals. ``If you don't have a household of heavy smokers, you can just spray window cleaner on a cotton cloth - never directly on the light fixture - and wipe off each crystal and the bulbs,'' suggests Heloise.

Before you rehang all the pictures, Ward advises wiping the front and back of each frame with a damp cloth and drying; then spray window cleaner on a cloth and wipe the glass. ``If you spray directly onto the glass, the ammonia can seep into the crevice between the glass and frame and ruin the artwork,'' says Ward.

Remove curtains and wash; take draperies to the dry cleaner and either remove mini-blinds and wash in the shower, or wipe off each slat with a damp cloth. Then keep them clean by wiping them every week with a lamb's wool duster, Ward suggests.

The windows are next, and while Heloise still swears by newspaper as the best way to make windows (and mirrors) sparkle, others like cotton tea towels or really cheap white paper towels. ``The expensive paper towels often leave streaks because of the fragrance, oils and dyes, and I think newspapers are too messy,'' says Ward, who prefers cotton towels. And don't forget the screens. Remove them, hose them off and let dry outdoors.

The middle ground

OK, you've got the walls done, now it's time to tackle the furniture. Ward says to pull out the sofa and chairs and vacuum front and back and remove cushions. If you have lots of decorative accent pillows, get the dust off by putting them in the dryer with a fabric softener tissue.

Next is the wood furniture. Ward says she really likes to use Murphy Oil Soap, which should be wiped dry after washing. She says spray waxes and furniture oils leave a residue that can damage the wood. If you feel the need to spray, spritz Endust on a cloth and wipe it clean, she suggests. And for antiques, try linseed oil.

Once you've got the living room clean, move to the bedroom, where you'll want to flip the mattress, vacuum the box springs and wash the bed frame. Now is a good time to tidy up closets, too. Ditto with the cupboards and linen closets - and leave behind an unwrapped bar of soap to keep them smelling fresh.

What about the goose down comforter and pillows? The tags may say ``Dry Clean Only'' but Heloise says she prefers to wash them by filling the washing machine half full with water, then immersing the comforter or two pillows. Wash on gentle cycle and rinse twice. Then put in dryer on medium heat and add a tennis shoe or tennis ball - something that will bounce around a lot and keep the feathers from clumping. It might take as many as five cycles to dry a comforter.

Attacking the kitchen

``The hardest thing to clean is the refrigerator or oven, depending on use,'' says Heloise, who adds that yes, you have to take everything out of the fridge before cleaning inside and out with mild soap and water.

If you're not strong enough to pull out the refrigerator and clean behind it, Pinkham suggests covering a yardstick with an old sock and slipping it underneath or sliding a bath mat under the refrigerator to clean coils. To clean the space between the refrigerator and the cabinets, try attaching a nylon scrubber to a yardstick. Dip it into detergent and push it in and pull out the dust.

The kitchen cupboards are also supposed to be emptied, washed, dried and reorganized, says Ward. Silver probably needs to be polished, too. It will come clean more quickly if you wash first in hot soapy water and then clean with silver polish (cream, not liquid) and a soft cloth, advises Heloise.

Mold and mildew, oh my!

Bathrooms should be cleaned every week so they won't take long to clean in March, says Ward. Her weapon of choice is vinegar and baking soda to get rid of lime on shower doors. Another cleaning solution she favors for sinks, tubs and showers is a mixture of 2 tablespoons of vinegar with 1/4 cup of ammonia and two quarts of water.

If black mildew is on the tub/shower caulking, you've got a big problem. ``You'll have to remove the old caulking, replace with new and then spray it down with a mildew inhibitor,'' according to Ward, who adds that drying off shower doors with a squeegee or towel after every shower will eliminate future problems. And so will a well-ventilated bathroom.

Have a shower curtain instead of a door? Wash the curtain and replace the liner.

Finally, the floors

``I hate mopping a floor,'' says Heloise, but if you have to, follow the manufacturer's instructions. If you've got the new kind of linoleum, do not use detergents or mop-and-shine products. Ammonia is a good grease cutter for glazed ceramic tile and probably for vinyl, but not linoleum.

So what's a good choice? ``I love vinegar. My mother has used it for years. It's safe, environmentally friendly and cheap - and it's good for most floors with 1/2 cup diluted in a gallon of water,'' Heloise says.

Have some black heel marks that you can't scrub off your floor? Ward says to wipe them off with a little Liquid Gold on a cloth.

Wood flooring - even with polyurethane coating - should be cleaned with a barely damp mop so that no water gets between the planks, say these experts.

For those with wall-to-wall carpeting like Heloise, spring cleaning is the time to really get behind the furniture and use all those vacuum cleaner attachments.

If you've discovered pet stains, Heloise says enzyme-based spot removers are good as long as you don't over-wet (avoid getting the pad wet) and blot well by standing on the towel. Numerous stains may indicate that a professional cleaning job is in order. Sisal carpets are another matter. They can't be cleaned, so if a damp cloth won't do the trick, move it out to the patio and enjoy it through the summer.

The next challenge is to keep the house clean. Or just remember this wisdom from Pinkham before your next party: The larger and livelier the crowd, the less they'll notice your housekeeping. Just don't run out of toilet paper.

Spring cleaning checklist

To clean your home like the pros, make sure you have all the proper equipment and supplies. Then work from the top down, following our check list:

( ) Take everything off walls and windows.

( ) Wash, rinse and dry walls and ceiling.

( ) Rehang artwork after cleaning the front and back.

( ) Remove screens; wash and rinse.

( ) Wash out window wells.

( ) Wash windows inside and out.

( ) Wash blinds and curtains before rehanging.

( ) Clean light fixtures, replace bulbs.

( ) Clean smoke alarm, replace batteries.

( ) Vacuum upholstered furniture (remove cushions).

( ) Scrub fireplace screen and ceramic logs.

( ) Clean wood furniture.

( ) Wash door knobs, switch-plates with antiseptic.

( ) Wash and dry cupboards inside and out.

( ) Clean refrigerator, inside and out.

( ) Clean stove, oven, small appliances.

( ) Polish silver, pewter.

( ) Flip mattress, vacuum box springs and bed frame.

( ) Launder pillows and comforters.

( ) Organize closets.

( ) Scrub tubs, sinks, toilets.

( ) Clean baseboards.

( ) Vacuum carpeting, clean small rugs.

( ) Wash and dry floors.

- Barbara De Witt

CAPTION(S):

7 photos, box

Photo:

(1 -- cover -- color) All hands on deck

Get your spring cleaning started with help from the experts

Photos by Charlotte Schmid-Maybach/Staff Photographer

Photo illustration by Shane Michael Kidder/Staff Photographer

(2 -- color) no caption (Heloise)

(3 -- color) HINT FROM HELOISE: Spring cleaners should have a stain kit, with bottles of water, ammonia and vinegar, with towels for wiping and blotting.

(4 -- color) The domestically challenged can sweep up with tips from the plethora of publications on house cleaning.

(5 -- color) HINT FROM HELOISE: Vinegar is safe, environmentally friendly and cheap - and it's good for most floors, with 1/2 cup diluted in a gallon of water.

(6 -- color) HINT FROM HELOISE: Put a sneaker or tennis ball in the dryer with down-filled pillows and comforters to keep the feathers from clumping.

(7 -- color) Heloise

columnist and author of ``Heloise Conquers Stinks and Stains''

Box:

Spring cleaning checklist (see text)