STARS NOT OUT TO PASTURE YET.

Byline: David Kronke TV Critic

ORIGINALLY, a residual charm of the reality genre was its transformation of nobodies into somebodies - well, sort of, and only in a tacky kind of way. Now, celebrities themselves, uncomfortable with competition for the spotlight (dim as it may be), are striking back.

Depending, of course, on your definition of ``celebrities.''

For those participating in ABC's ``Celebrity Mole Hawaii'' (debuting tonight) and the WB's ``The Surreal World'' (premiering Thursday) aren't exactly A-listers or even C-plus-listers. This fact is blithely overlooked in ``Celebrity Mole'' but confronted, frankly if gingerly, on ``Surreal World,'' a vague variation on ``Big Brother'' which might more honestly if uncharitably be retitled ``Has-Been House.''

``Celebrity Mole'' runs essentially the same drill as the civilian version of ABC's underwhelmingly rated reality game show in which participants strive together to win challenges and earn money but eye another warily for signs of a saboteur in their midst.

Participants include - and you're forgiven if all the names don't induce similar glimmers of recognition - Corbin Bernsen (``L.A. Law''), Stephen Baldwin (``The Usual Suspects''), Michael Boatman (``Spin City''), Kathy Griffin (``Suddenly Susan''), Kim Coles (``Living Single''), Frederique (a model) and Erik von Detten (``Dinotopia''). Host Ahmad Rashad, probably as well-known as any of this lot these days, seems to hint that ``Mole'' has migrated to Showtime After Dark when he delivers the teaser, ``The players get down and dirty with sheep.''

Stunts involving wrangling said sheep and dangling from harnesses and pulleys under waterfalls for some ill-defined reason. Since these contestants are experienced at exchanging empty homilies with the gleaming teeth and suits of ``Entertainment Tonight'' and ``Access Hollywood,'' the interview sequences are more smug than the fatuous earnestness seen on most reality programs. Comedian Griffin remains archly sarcastic, though earlier in her career she'd expend her bile on this type of programming rather than participate in it.

As for the mole's identity, who knows why the producers even bother with trying to wring pseudo-drama from casting suspicions on this contestant or that - it's obvious that the editing is manipulating all manner of obfuscation. Here's guessing the mole is the person whose career needs the direst resuscitation.

Meanwhile, kitsch can't get any kitschier than ``Surreal World.'' Glen Campbell's old house, where the WB's assortment of washed-up wonders convene to philosophize foolishly and bicker biliously, sports a giant, Warhol-esque canvas of its cast.

Which includes: former child star Corey Feldman (who acknowledges, ``I'm all about image repair at this point,'' then goes about behaving like a typical Hollywood brat); Motley Crue frontman Vince Neil; ``Baywatch'' babe Brande Roderick (who not inaccurately notes, ``I'm kind of boring''); ``Webster's'' Emmanuel Lewis, who has a maniacal, virtually ubiquitous laugh that borders on disturbing; former ``Beverly Hills 90210'' student Gabrielle Carteris; drearily pious former rapper Hammer; and Jerri Manthey, notorious ``Survivor: Australian Outback'' contestant.

Again, don't feel bad if all those names don't ring a bell. Even though Manthey is the one who has most recently been associated with a successful entertainment, none of the others has any idea who she is. Feldman sniffs, ``None of us know who she is, and she's not part of our society.'' And what society is that, exactly?

Not much happens, really - the group wanders, goes shopping and is treated to a gratuitously decadent sushi dinner served atop a semi-nude woman. Pacing is kind of pokey, confrontations feel halfhearted, and in the middle of this pointedly pointless nonsense, Neil delivers a heartfelt soliloquy about losing his daughter to cancer that is as poignant as it seems out of place. (What does it say that the legendarily debauched Neil seems the most rational guy in the house?)

``Surreal World'' isn't a game, but clearly Feldman knows how best to play. He asks his girlfriend to marry him on the show, betraying a streak of cynical romanticism that cannily accomplishes two things - getting the WB to foot the bill for his nuptials and usurping major camera time from his housemates.

Due to their Limburger-cheese factor alone, these celebrity reality series may garner adherents of camp. But the shows would probably be more compelling if the respective producers merely featured these erstwhile idols sitting around looking pole-axed and simply trying to figure out just what the heck happened to their glory days.

CELEBRITY MOLE HAWAII - Two and one half stars

What: Reality game involving oddball physical challenges and cloak- and-dagger betrayals.

Where: ABC (Channel 7).

When: 10 tonight.

In a nutshell: Celebrities, stunts and surreptitious back-stabbing - just another day in Hollywood.

THE SURREAL WORLD - Two stars

What: Celebrities who've seen better days camp out under one (fairly luxurious) roof and annoy one another and viewers simultaneously.

Where: WB (Channel 5).

When: Premieres 9 p.m. Thursday, moves to regular 9:30 p.m. Thursday slot next week.

In a nutshell: The idea is more clever than the execution - on-screen behavior is actually fairly muted, even uninteresting.

CAPTION(S):

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Photo:

Erik von Detten, left, and Corbin Bernsen sheepishly participate in ``Celebrity Mole Hawaii'' on ABC.