SPOT IF YOUR TEEN IS GANGLY.
THE government has issued yet another comedy gag-book, and it's a corker.
Not quite up there with the "Go In, Stay In, Tune In" leaflet of 2004, which told us to survive a terror attack by sitting under the kitchen table eating cold beans with the wireless on.
And no match for the one issued last Christmas, "Have Fun But Stay Safe", which claimed it was possible to enjoy the festive season without getting drunk by "staying out of rounds" and "drinking halves". But "Gangs: You And Your Child", is a classic nonetheless. These, it reckons, are the tell-tale signs that your teenager is running with a knife-wielding mob: coming home late, looking like they've been on drugs, wearing weird headgear, using slang and hand signals, ignoring the rest of the family, and having too much cash for their own good.
All they needed to add was "grunting when asked to take their plate out" and it's covered every teenager since 1968. Utter genius.