SPIRIT WILLING BUT FLESH NEEDS TITANIUM.

Byline: Jonathan Dobrer

AS my wife, The Fair Helenkela, lies in the recovery room, after receiving a new bionic knee, I am meditating (if in a somewhat agitated state) on the subject of modern aging. I am also wondering why my wife -- whose weight is appropriate, who works out three days a week, and who has the heart of a 25-year-old -- has to contemplate a future with a hip replacement, as well as hand surgery for arthritis and the other knee?

When I think of my parents' generation, I am clear that mine is in much better shape. We are not nearly as old as our parents were at our age. They were overweight, out of shape and in terrible cardio-vascular condition. Many were even dead.

We, on the other hand, have been into health for decades. Sometime after the excesses of the infamous '60s, when we turned 30, we gave up one set of drugs, stopped smoking cigarettes and started running. We went on hikes with the Sierra Club. We swam in Masters competitions. We joined gyms -- and occasionally showed up. We played golf, did aerobics, yoga and tai chi. We meditated. We got personal trainers.

We worked diligently at not becoming our parents. We went so far as to actually put on leotards. We bought Lycra for biking and skiing. We dressed, not in the grown-up clothing of our successful elders, but in the style and fashion of our children.

We gave up red meat. We force-fed ourselves fiber. We eschewed the chewing of fatty and deep-fat-fried foods. We are now buying organic.

In order to follow up these healthy ways of trying to stay the aging process, we got our faces lifted, our tummies tucked and our fat sucked.

The problem is that in trying to stay young and healthy, we've wrecked ourselves. Our moving parts aren't moving so well and are in need of replacement. Part of the crisis in health care is that my cohort is worn out and out of warranty.

The philosopher Richard Cumberland wrote, "It is better to wear away than to rust out." And while we're doing our best not to get rusty, our maintenance and upkeep are becoming both fiscally expensive and physically painful. Still, my wife is looking forward to returning to the gym, getting back on our tandem bicycle and remaining active in life.

No, we won't succeed in staying aging permanently. We will do our best to slow it down. Nor will we fool death with our beautiful bodies, youthfully lifted faces or even the inner health of aerobically exercised hearts and lungs. We will not live forever. We will, however, try our best to live fully as long as we're alive.

(Note: The Fair Helenkela came out of surgery wonderfully, and is resting comfortably in the arms of Morpheus.)