SPADE NOT KIDDING ANYONE.

Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic

A RELATIVELY SUREFIRE comic concept - former TV kid actor, desperate for a comeback, moves in with a real family to research a role that requires familiarity with a normal childhood - is David Spaded in ``Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star.''

In other words, the comedian's usual sarcastic shtick sabotages any effort to make the pathetic character the least bit believable.

Spade's refusal to actually act, as opposed to perform his ``act,'' is far from the movie's only problem. The comedian's snide bits provide some of the picture's funniest stuff. But that's only because little else in the movie does.

``Dickie'' was scripted by Spade and his ``Saturday Night Live'' writing pal Fred Wolf, who also gifted us with the screenplay for ``Joe Dirt.'' It was directed by Sam Weisman, who helmed more than 70 episodes of the smart sitcom ``Family Ties'' as well as such films as ``George of the Jungle'' and ``What's the Worst That Could Happen?'' To say that Wolf and Weisman's talents are definitely small screen is to belabor the obvious.

And that, in a perhaps unconscious display of creative self-revelation, is Dickie Roberts' dilemma as well. Only he's got it worse; even TV hasn't wanted the onetime cute kid from ``The Glimmer Gang'' series since he passed puberty. Now in his mid-30s and getting beaten up by the likes of Emmanuel Lewis in ex-celebrity boxing matches, Dickie lives in a crummy Hollywood apartment, parks cars at Morton's and, for recreation, disses real stars like Brad Pitt with his circle of bitter poker buddies (Barry Williams, Leif Garrett, Danny Bonaduce, Corey Feldman and Dustin Diamond, all playing themselves).

When he gets wind that Rob Reiner is casting a new movie, Dickie convinces himself that winning a role in it is his ticket back to the big time. This could be the movie's wickedest running gag - like the director of ``Alex & Emma,'' ``The Story of Us,'' ``Ghosts of Mississippi'' and ``North'' could help anybody's career nowadays - but since Reiner also plays himself in the film, we get the sneaking suspicion that nobody here understood how cruel the joke really was.

Anyway, to prepare for the part, which requires having lived a normal childhood, Dickie spends his last bucks to rent a real suburban family. He moves into smarmy car salesman George Finney's (Craig Bierko) home, where he expects to be treated like one of the kids. Mom Grace (Mary McCormack) is against the idea, and the actual Finney children Sam (Scott Terra) and Sally (Jenna Boyd) think, rightly, that this sleazy show-biz guy is weird.

But, like David Spade but no former child star would, Dickie gradually wins Grace and his ``siblings'' over by teaching them how to stand up for themselves. He also learns a thing or two about real affection, something he's never known. Oh, and he thinks Grace is one hot mama.

There are long, long stretches during which none of this is funny at all. Some setups do pay off with a few good laughs, and the sentimentality that seems to be part and parcel of Adam Sandler-era studio comedies (Spade's ``SNL'' cast mate was a producer of this) is not as cloying as it usually gets.

But ``Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star'' overwhelmingly feels like something that should have been built around its comic concept, not its star's persona. Spade is a clever comedian who can surely apply his wit to something other than the narrow parameters of wise-guy humor ... and without having to wear a mullet to prove it.

Bob Strauss, [phone]

bob.strauss(at)dailynews.com

DICKIE ROBERTS: FORMER CHILD STAR - One and one half stars

(PG-13: language, sexual humor)

Starring: David Spade, Mary McCormack, Scott Terra, Jenna Boyd, Jon Lovitz, Craig Bierko, Alyssa Milano, Rob Reiner.

Director: Sam Weisman.

Running time: 1 hr. 39 min.

Playing: Wide release.

In a nutshell: A few raunchy laughs and too much dead time in this obvious comedy about a washed-up kid actor.