SOMETIMES, NICE, AVERAGE GUYS DON'T FINISH LAST.

Byline: MELISSA HECKSCHER

My friend Vanessa's most recent guy (who, ahem, may or may not be a professional dirt-bike racer living in Los Angeles) interrupted their date the other night to tell her that -- oops! -- he has a girlfriend.

She took it in stride, promptly ordering the most expensive items on the menu, then demanding that he take her home.

You think that's bad? The guy before him broke up with her when he found out that she was -- wait for it -- 35.

He was 45.

"You didn't tell me you were 35," he said to her.

"You never asked," she said.

There was a pause.

"How old did you think I was?"

"I don't know," he said. "Early 30s?"

"I just turned 35," she said.

"That's mid," he snapped. "There's a difference."

Ugh.

I ask you, men of Los Angeles who may or may not be reading this (and who should nonetheless be forwarded it by concerned female colleagues): What is wrong with you people?

Why are so many women like Vanessa -- beautiful, smart, funny, down-to-earth, ambitious, independent women -- perennially single?

I know what you're thinking: Maybe they're too picky. Maybe they're choosing the wrong guys. Maybe they only like the bad boys.

But I say it's not the guys they're choosing; rather, it's the guys choosing them.

Think about it: It's the alpha males -- the guys with the chiseled hunting tactics who consequently aren't afraid to ask out the prettiest girl in the bar -- who approach them.

And since most good hunters don't hang out long after the chase, the love story almost always goes like this:

Boy likes girl. Boy gets girl. Boy wants new girl.

Girl eventually turns to an online dating site to find a nice nerdy guy who isn't afraid of commitment.

It all works out in the end.

With the nerdy guy, anyway.

In fact, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, women seeking happily-ever-after should opt for Mr. Average instead of Mr. Perfect.

The study found that men who were more attractive than their wives were more likely to have negative feelings about their marriage and were more likely to cheat. Conversely, women who married men less attractive than themselves had better marriages and more loyal husbands.

"The husband who's less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get," head researcher James McNulty told LiveScience.com. "He's getting something better than he's providing at that level. So he's going to work hard to maintain that relationship."

So there you have it, V. Stop responding to the pretty boys on Match.com, the ones whose tag lines say, "Looking for a Playmate."

Instead, try going for the less-noticeable guy, whose tag line is "WorthATry" and whose profile has a picture of him and his golden retriever; not him and his Aston Martin.

"You've got to look for the nice guys," I said to Vanessa as we browsed her most recent batch of online dating "matches." We were scrolling through the pages as methodically as if we were shopping for shoes online.

"He looks like a good one," I said, stopping at a picture of a stout-looking guy with a shy smile and dimples on both cheeks.

She clicked on the entry and scanned through it as if it were a nutritional chart.

"He's 6-9," she stammered. "That's way too tall."

"Being too tall has got to be tough," I coaxed. "He's probably super nice because of it."

She looked at his picture again, studying the accompanying text: Late-30s. Never married. No kids. Looking for a thirtysomething girl who can "be his best friend."

She softened.

"OK."

I clicked on the "Wink" button, which would instantly send Mr. Tall Guy a note that Vanessa was interested.

See that? There's hope for her yet.