SOME VOTES BEST EARNED WITH A LAUGH.Back in the dog days of the mayoral campaign, when Jimmy Hahn's lead over Antonio Villaraigosa Antonio Ramon Villaraigosa (born Antonio (Tony) Ramon Villar, Jr. on January 23, 1953) is the mayor of Los Angeles, California. He is the first Latino mayor of Los Angeles since Cristobal Aguilar in 1872. in the polls was slipping away faster than a Jennifer Lopez dress, I made an off-handed suggestion to one of Hahn's top aides. To his credit, he totally ignored it. That's one of the things we newspaper columnists Noun 1. newspaper columnist - a columnist who writes for newspapers agony aunt - a newspaper columnist who answers questions and offers advice on personal problems to people who write in columnist, editorialist - a journalist who writes editorials get paid for - to come up with ideas people totally ignore. My ignored idea was to cut a TV commercial that might actually get a laugh from the voters, rather than a yawn yawn v. To open the mouth wide with a deep inhalation, usually involuntarily from drowsiness, fatigue, or boredom. n. The act of yawning. . I wanted to put Hahn in a Hawaiian shirt Hawaiian shirt n. A colorfully patterned short-sleeved sport shirt. [From the fact that the style originated in Hawaii.] behind the wheel of a cherry red 1961 convertible Caddie, driving down Ventura Boulevard Ventura Boulevard is one of the primary east-west thouroughfares in the San Fernando Valley; as it was originally a part of the El Camino Real (the trail between Spanish missions), Ventura Boulevard is the oldest route in the San Fernando Valley. It was also U.S. singing ``I Love L.A.'' along with Randy Newman on the tape deck. Loosen Hahn's image up a little. Make him seem like the kind of mayor you could have a beer with after work, shoot some pool with, or sit around a poker table A poker table is a table specifically designed for playing card games, usually poker. It is often covered with baize which is a type of felt, or speed cloth, a teflon-coated fabric that helps the cards slide easily across the surface. with smoking a cigar and lyin' your heads off as you both try raising each other with a pair of deuces. You know, Bubba-fy him. Clinton him up some. Well, Jimmy's people didn't listen to me and they paid for it. They won. Now they have to run this city, the poor saps, instead of standing safety on the sidelines On the sidelines An investor who decides not to invest due to market uncertainty. on the sidelines Of or relating to investors who, having assessed the market, have decided to avoid committing their funds. with the rest of us losers, taking potshots at targets who don't shoot back. Maybe I should have gone over to the Villaraigosa camp with my idea, then they could have ignored it and won. The way I see it, both candidates missed a big chunk of the electorate in this campaign with their boring, run-of-the-mill campaigns - missed the people who are the real swing vote in this city. Retired guys like my father who spend most of their day sitting around yelling at the TV set. No way you're going to get my old man and his buddies up and out to vote unless you give them a pretty damn good reason, like a good laugh. Guys like the crowd over at Pineapple Hill or Charlie O's saloons in Van Nuys, who can spot a phony politician almost as fast as a watered-down drink. You know these guys aren't going to vote for you when they start fighting over the TV clicker click·er n. One that clicks, as: a. A remote control, as for a television or VCR. b. A computer mouse. c. A mechanical counter. to switch to celebrity bowling Celebrity Bowling was an American syndicated sports series hosted by Jed Allan that ran from 1971 to 1978. The series was produced in Los Angeles at the studios of KTTV. or rodeo reruns rather than sit through one of your boring political ads. Sure issues matter, but these guys would rather go back to work early - a cardinal sin - than sit through another yawner 30-second TV spot of a politician shaking hands with people who are supposed to be real voters, but are more likely to be his aunt and uncle from Jersey or some movie extras. If it doesn't pass the smell test, the swing voters over at the Hill, Charlie O's, or my old man's house aren't going to waste time on it. But you put a politician wearing a Hawaiian shirt singing ``I Love L.A.'' behind the wheel of a cherry red, convertible Caddie cruising the boulevard, and you just may win yourself a faithful voter for the rest of your political career. You couldn't buy these guys for a grand apiece, but you can get them for free with a good laugh and some down-home honesty. |
|
||||||||||||
Printer friendly
Cite/link
Email
Feedback
Reader Opinion