SMYTHS MIX FAMILY POLITICS WITH REAL POLITICS.

Byline: JUDY O'ROURKE Staff Writer

SANTA CLARITA -- Lena Smyth is not a politician, but these days politics has come to govern how much time her family can spend together.

While her husband, Cameron Smyth, had worked six years on the Santa Clarita City Council, he often used his home office and was thus able to help take care of the kids. He was able to drive the 3-year-old to soccer practice and gymnastics and bathe the both kids at night before tucking them in.

But now Smyth, 35, will be spending half his time in Sacramento as a newly elected Republican assemblyman.

``I never thought how challenging it would be until we had kids, but I recognize there are military families who have it much more difficult,'' said Lena Smyth.

Son Gavin is 3, and baby Rowan is 8 months old and never far from Lena's arms.

``I'm sure he'll call and tell them goodnight every night ... and I know we'll talk every day and night.''

Smyth has rented a two-bedroom apartment just outside the capital that's filled with toy trucks -- Gavin's favorite -- to make the most of family time when he can't get away. And they may try video conferencing on the computer.

``The hardest part of this job will be leaving (Lena) and my sons,'' Smyth said.

Family planning 

Smyth said he plans to work Monday through Thursday afternoon in the capital, then fly home and work in a Santa Clarita district office the rest of the week. A firewall is built around Sunday: family day.

``Because he'll be out of town for much of the week and he'll have events in the district on a lot of weekends, it was important for us to protect one day a week only to spend with our family,'' Lena said.

An expert on family dynamics notes many couples have toiled apart for generations but having a desire to reconnect is key.

``As brave as people are, it's very hard to raise children alone,'' said family psychologist Irene Goldenberg, emeritus professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles.. ``There are lots of single parents, and having a support system is very important. If you want to keep (your life) at the same level of effectiveness, one person can't swallow it all up and do it.''

One woman whose kids are a little older knows the drill from other side.

Assemblywoman Mimi Walters, R-Laguna Niguel, is embarking on her second Assembly term. Last year, she was vice chair of the Revenue and Taxation Committee and served on the Appropriations, and Aging and Long-term Care committees.

Her husband, David, runs an investment business from the couple's Laguna Niguel home, where their children, ages 14, 13, 11 and 10, live and where Walters often returns on Thursdays.

Walters, 44, choreographs the ornate ballet of child care with the precision of George Balanchine. Every Sunday, she pencils in a week's worth of activities: Both girls play club volleyball; the football season just ended for the two boys -- one's now into basketball, the other, lacrosse.

``If I don't have that schedule up on Sunday for the next week, we're all in trouble,'' she said. ``We go to church in the morning on Sunday, I do my grocery shopping for the whole week after church, then I do the schedule.''

Two college students who alternate weekdays zip the kids to and from activities, make dinner and ride herd on the homework -- one child attends elementary school, two are in middle school and one is a high schooler.

Walters' large extended family -- all 33 relatives -- live nearby. Weekends are filled with sports events.

Lena Smyth, who earned a master's in political science and once worked as a political reporter, will rely on both sets of parents and a tight network of friends for support.

She likens her situation to that of her friend, whose husband is a film director -- the family joined him on location when possible.

What for years had been a tradition of men working in high-pressure careers and being absent from the family in early years of childrearing has evolved in today's fast-paced world.

``They're the first or second generation where people are thinking about the fact that raising children is more effective if you have two people,'' Goldenberg said.

``Kids, people, can adjust to all kinds of arrangements provided they don't feel ripped off, abandoned, or in some way taken advantage of,'' she said. ``You cannot see somebody and give up car-pool responsibilities if they call you, if they are connected with you, if they're there to discuss the asthma attack. If they're available psychologically and not totally invested in the other world, the person has a different feeling about it.''

No big deal

Lena Smyth said children won't find the lifestyle difficult if the parents don't make it seem difficult.

``Daddy goes away on Monday and comes home on Thursday -- that's our life,'' she said. ``They won't think it's a big deal if we don't make it a big deal.''

Rookie Assemblyman Mike Feuer, D-Los Angeles, whose wife and kids will remain in Southern California, said, ``Our lives are always in a state of controlled havoc.''

The couple's son, 15, plays tennis and works on computer contracts; their daughter, 13, plays fast-pitch softball and is a singer and performer. His wife, Gail Ruderman Feuer, a judge, usually arrives home by 6:30 p.m.

The family's lifestyle is not so different from that of others, said Feuer, 48.

``I think our lives as legislators with families are really very similar to the lives of every family where there are two parents trying to make ends meet by each tying to hold down careers, with kids who have demanding lives of their own,'' he said.

``Add to that long commutes, and all of us are struggling with how to be great at our jobs, great parents and great to our spouses.''

Ruderman Feuer, 47, said her husband, a former Los Angeles city councilman, deftly balances the dueling demands of being a dedicated dad and public servant.

``The challenge is how to do that and sleep,'' she said with a laugh. ``We don't sleep very much.''

Both tackle piles of work after the kids go to bed. Feuer plans to travel back and forth a few times a week.

``Most of our friends are two-career couples,'' Ruderman Feuer said. ``It's not much different from a lawyer coming home from his law practice.''

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Photo:

(color) Lena Smyth plays with 8-month-old son Rowan. She will have more responsibility for Rowan and her other son, 3-year-old Gavin, with dad and newly elected state Assemblyman Cameron Smyth gone much of the time.

David Crane/Staff Photographer