SHIPBOARD HOSTS SHALL WE DANCE?

Byline: Carol Bidwell Daily News Staff Writer

Alan Benedict signed on as a "gentleman host" aboard the Queen Elizabeth 2 for a free vacation - but soon realized his fancy footwork on the dance floor was making a lot of women happier than they'd been in years.

"Some of these ladies get a little emotional, particularly widows," said the 52-year-old Sunland insurance agent. "They'll say, 'I haven't danced in 20 years, ever since my husband died.' I had one lady tell me, 'This is my last cruise ever because I have a terminal illness, but I wanted to dance.' "

Benedict is one of a few hundred single men recruited by several cruise lines as dance partners for an increasing number of mature single women who travel alone. The idea was pioneered by Richard Revnes, the late president of the Royal Cruise Lines, which is scheduled to close in May.

"He (Revnes) was on a cruise with his wife, and she kept encouraging him to dance with some of the single women who had nobody to dance with," said RCL spokeswoman Valerie Gadway.

In 1982, Revnes added a few "carefully interviewed . . . distinguished, congenial single gentlemen" with above-average dance and conversation skills to his ships' passenger lists as a three-month trial program. By 1995, RCL had recruited 150 volunteer hosts available as dance partners aboard the Royal Odyssey, Crown Odyssey and Star Odyssey, with five to 10 working on a ship at once.

Ironically, those ships will be hostless after this spring, when RCL ceases operations and turns its ships over to Norwegian Cruise Lines. Victor Barothy-Langer, director of hotel services for NCL ships, said keeping a staff of hosts to partner older, single ladies doesn't fit in with NCL's marketing strategy for its newly acquired ships.

"We're trying to appeal to a mass market, from young adults to families with kids to seniors," Barothy-Langer said. "The host program is very popular. However, it will not be on those ships after May. Of course, if there's enough demand, we may reinstate it."

Murial Moore, administrative assistant for The Working Vacation, the clearinghouse that recruits instructors and dance hosts for RCL and other cruise ships, said she's been told by several travel agents that many single women booked onto RCL cruise ships this summer are canceling their trips once they learn there will be no dance hosts aboard ship.

"They say they're only going to go if they have the dance hosts on board," Moore said.

Other cruise lines could benefit from NCL's decision. Barbara Wiener, a spokeswoman for the Cruise Lines International Association, said the use of "gentlemen hosts" aboard other cruise ships is increasing as more older affluent women travel alone.

"It definitely is a trend," she said. "For older women traveling alone or with other women, it's a perfect way to make sure they're part of the social scene on a ship."

Although more older women are cruising alone, they often don't enter into shipboard activities "because they aren't socially assertive or because they feel it would be unseemly," said Bruce Good, director of cruise product for Royal Cruise Line. "What they need, quite simply, is a gallant gentleman to invite them to join the fun."

Some of the seasoned cruisers ask about dance partners before they book a trip, said John Garr, 67, of Reseda, a retired newspaper publisher who works as a dance host for Royal Viking and Cunard. He also worked for RCL.

"The women want to know who's going to be on board and who are the good dancers," he said. "They want to know they're going to have a good time."

The Cunard Royal Viking Line, the Delta Queen Steamboat Co., the Cunard Line, Regency Cruises and the Holland America Line all have dance hosts aboard.

Cruise lines require dance hosts to be single, generally over 50 years old and either retired or financially independent so they are free to travel. The cruise line pays for a host's airline flight to the ship's departure point and return flight, the cruise and meals while on board.

But hosts are not considered employees of the cruise lines; they receive no paycheck, said Lauretta Blake, owner of The Working Vacation.

Raymond Derek, 65, of Hollywood, a dance host for Cunard Lines, said he enjoys making women cruising alone feel part of the ship's social life.

"No matter how good a dancer you are, you never show off, though," Derek said. "You make the lady look good. It's not hard if you're brought up with the idea of manners and graciousness."

Dance hosts can also be saviors for non-dancing husbands, he said.

"You can dance with their wives, but the husband has to ask you to dance with her," Derek said. "You can't just ask another man's wife to dance."

Being a dance host is hard work, both men said.

"You're on call at all times, in the public eye," Benedict said. "It is demanding. There's predinner dancing at 5:30, and you usually dance till midnight or 1 or 2 in the morning. And then you have a dance class at 10 o'clock the next morning. Sometimes you don't get a lot of sleep."

Blake said she's very careful about the dance hosts she chooses.

"We're looking for great men of character and personal integrity. They have to be a great human being, kind-hearted, compassionate, a great listener, a team player, with great social skills - and they have to be able to dance," she said. "At this time in history, men with those qualities are, unfortunately, not as plentiful as women would like them to be."

There is one major rule for dance hosts on all cruise ships: Never, ever get romantically involved with a passenger.

Benedict said ship hosts take the admonition to heart.

"Romance is a definite no-no in the rule book," he said. "You'd better follow the rules - or you'll be paddling back home at the next port."

That takes care of the men's behavior. What about cooling down over-amorous women?

"I just tell them that this is our job and we can't do it (get involved romantically) because if we get caught, we have to swim home - and I'm a terrible swimmer," Garr said with a laugh.

Not everybody is suited to be a dance host, Derek said. Some can't handle the long hours, the constant demand for good humor, the sheer physical effort.

"It's got to be a work of love," Derek said. "Of course, we get a beautiful trip. I would feel horrible if I had to do this, if this was a job. This is an adventure."

"I enjoy it very much," Benedict said. "I do it primarily for the travel. I've gone places I hadn't been before, places I might not have gone otherwise."

Garr said he cruised to Mexico and the Caribbean on his own, but couldn't afford the more expensive, longer cruises.

"But I started running into some of these fellows who said, 'Why are you paying?' " Garr said. After passing a dance test, he went to work for Royal Cruise Lines in 1991, then began to work for other cruise lines through Blake's clearinghouse. Since then, he's taken trips he only dreamed about before.

"Where have I been? I can tell you where I haven't been - China, Japan and Egypt," Garr said. "But I'm going there this year, so that'll cover the world for me. I've traveled on more than 50 cruises on about 20 ships, including a 93-day, around-the-world cruise I just finished. That cruise alone would have cost me about $168,000. So you can see why I love this job."

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PHOTO

Photo (color) John Garr, a ship's dance host, is dapper on the dance floor with a passenger.