SHAQ IS NO COMEDIAN.

Byline: STEVE DILBECK

He just doesn't get it.

Like all children, you hope one day he will, but there is certainly reason to wonder.

Reason to fear it is only a matter of time before Shaquille O'Neal once again unloads another verbal plunder, that at best should embarrass him, and at worst, bring him shame.

We've all seen O'Neal make outrageous comments before, but Friday was something even for someone with his unique history. Now not only was an adolescent attempt at humor backfiring, but someone he has allowed into his inner circle.

Shaquille O'Neal is not a racist.

Anyone who knows him can safely say this, despite Friday's disturbing news that he made comments mocking the Chinese nationality of Houston Rockets center Yao Ming and has become friends with Louis Farrakhan, the anti-Semitic leader of the Nation of Islam.

In addition to being a dominating superstar, O'Neal is so good-hearted, so playful, so generally likeable, that he is constantly allowed to get off easy when he makes what for most anyone else would be damning transgressions of common sense and basic maturity.

More than six months ago O'Neal made the mistake of going on a Fox cable show, whose main demographic is someone mentally frozen in a frat party. When asked about Yao, O'Neal turned the camera and said: ``Tell Yao Ming, `Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh,' '' and then launched into some pseudo-kung fu.

It tells you something about who watches this show that this went under the radar until being picked up on a national radio show last month. That led to a column by Irwin Tang in AsianWeek, lambasting O'Neal as a racist.

A couple of years ago, my 10-year-old came home from school one day and went into a similar bad imitation of someone speaking Chinese. Like countless parents before, I explained to him this would be disrespectful, and possibly hurtful, to someone who was Chinese. That you must respect everyone despite what language they speak, what color their skin, what god they worship.

I've never heard him do it again.

``I have friends from every walk of life,'' O'Neal said. ``I said it as a joke. It was a 70-30 joke. Seventy percent funny, 30 percent not funny.''

No, it was 100 percent not funny.

``If I hurt anyone's feelings, I'm sorry,'' O'Neal said.

If he hurt anyone's feelings? And if he didn't, then no big deal?

``I'm not the first comedian to do that,'' O'Neal said. ``You guys know I'm funny every now and then. The whole world knows I'm funny, every now and then. If I was the first one to ever do it, or the only one to do it, I could see what they're talking about. It's an old joke that's been done before.''

He just doesn't get it.

Hey, O'Neal, you're not a comedian, you're an NBA superstar. Kids watch you, worship you, are influenced by you.

O'Neal, who hasn't been speaking to the media for most of the past month, said he was talking Friday because he had been instructed to do so by the powers that be. Hardly convincing for a heartfelt apology.

``People who know me, know I'm not (racist),'' O'Neal said. ``It's this guy's (Tang's) opinion. It's not going to make me upset. It's not going to make me call him. It's not going to make me punch him in his face when I see him. He's just somebody who doesn't have a sense of humor like I do.''

That's all this is, just a difference of humor on an old joke. There's probably some people who still make watermelon jokes, too, but I don't think O'Neal would appreciate it.

Even potentially more disturbing is the news Farrakhan was invited to O'Neal's wedding Dec. 26. This is the Farrakhan who some black men find uplifting, but who at different times has denigrated women, said ``white man is our mortal enemy'' and termed Judaism a ``gutter religion.''

Asked about his friendship with Farrakhan, O'Neal said, ``Keep in mind, I'm a leader, not a follower.''

This is great, but he had an opportunity to distance himself from Farrakhan's anti-Semitic and more controversial comments, and instead he tip-toed, or worse, used some unrecognizable double-speak.

``I understand, sure,'' he said. ``But I was raised not to judge people by their views, (but) by what they do.''

So if you're making speeches supporting the KKK but don't burn any crosses, it's OK?

Tang went overboard but was right about a double-standard when it comes to Asians. Unlike other minorities, the Asian community does not typically take to the streets to decry its racial slights and injustices. When was the last you heard an Asian protest over their lack of representation on TV?

O'Neal previously has made outlandish comments about having sex with female superstars that they all had to denounce. He had the bad taste to publicly make a reference to Doug Christie's wife massaging his ailing toe.

Mostly people have looked the other way, not held him accountable, viewed him as this goofy overgrown kid. And in doing so, allowed him to continue his comedic persona unchecked.

O'Neal remains the best center in the game, and even in current form, one of the greatest centers of all time. He gives his time and money to charitable causes. He should be above all this silliness, above being some cartoon figure.

It's one thing to be leery of being overly politically correct, another to just being sensible. Despite his boyishness, O'Neal is no innocent and needs to understand how troublesome his comments can be. You hope some day he will.

After he finished his apology before Friday's game, O'Neal walked away to the team lounge, turned back to reporters, and then made a couple of kung-fu moves.

He just doesn't get it.