SHAQ, YAO? GIVE ME A BREAK.

Byline: RICH HAMMOND 

Fans selected Shaquille O'Neal and Yao Ming as the starting centers for next month's NBA All-Star Game, which would be great if we were playing a video game or had been transported back to 2003.

Yao has been out since Dec. 23 with a broken leg, and Shaq, well, he's in semi-retirement these days, but the whim of the fans rules all, which is both the charm and bane of the All-Star process.

In the NHL, a segment of fans tried to elect Rory Fitzpatrick, a nondescript plugger forward, to the All-Star Game, but their mock campaign fell short. NBA fans voted more for star power than goof factor, and out of the 10starters they picked, they got it half right.

Here's a look at how the lineups should be:

Western Conference: Fans voted Yao, Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett and Tracy McGrady. It should be Bryant, Duncan, Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki and Amare Stoudemire.

They shouldn't even play the game unless Nash is starting. How ridiculous. Here's the two-time MVP, playing better than ever on an outstanding team, and McGrady gets the start?

Nowitzki should be in the lineup, but it's hard to choose between Duncan and Garnett. The edge goes to Duncan, who is playing on a better team and doesn't have to shoulder as much of the load.

Center is tough. It definitely shouldn't be Yao, but who should it be? The argument could be settled by moving Duncan to center and keeping Garnett, but let's go with a semi-sentimental choice, Stoudemire.

Stoudemire hasn't always been at his best this season, but he has played his way back from serious knee problems and is averaging 18 points and nine rebounds for the NBA's best team.

Eastern Conference: Fans voted Shaq, Gilbert Arenas, Chris Bosh, LeBron James and Dwayne Wade. It should be Arenas, James, Wade, Caron Butler and Dwight Howard.

Some kudos to the fans for pushing Arenas into the lineup. No offense to Vince Carter, but Arenas clearly was deserving, and it's great to see that the fans just didn't blindly vote for the bigger name.

That's more than evened out by the choice of Shaq.

Seriously? You might as well put Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan and Larry Bird on the team. It's time for some new blood, with Howard.

Howard is by far the most impressive of the league's young big men, a standard for the Lakers' Andrew Bynum to match in coming years. Why isn't the league promoting him with greater fervor?

And yes, Butler over Bosh. That might be a bit of a head-scratcher to some, and it's no knock on Bosh, but this isn't the same Butler that Lakers fans remember.

Phil Jackson has admitted that he didn't quite know what to do with Butler. In Washington, Butler has found a comfort zone next to Arenas and they deserve to be in the All-Star lineup together.

Revenge factor: It's been fun to watch local product Arenas (Grant High of Van Nuys) enjoy his breakout season and even more entertaining to follow the subplots.

Arenas, upset about being cut by the U.S. national team this past summer, has made it his mission to punish Phoenix and Portland, whose coaches were assistants for the national team.

Last week, Arenas scored 54 points against Phoenix and proclaimed that his next 50-point game would be against Portland. Phoenix coach Mike D'Antoni joked, ``I can't wait to see what he does against Duke. He's gonna kill Duke,'' since Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski was also the national team head coach.

That prompted the always-playful Arenas to write on his NBA.com blog: ``He'd like to see what I'm going to do against Duke. I thought it was funny, because if I have the chance to go back to college, I'd give up one NBA season to play against Duke.

``One college game, that's fivefouls, right? ... 40-minute game at Duke, they got soft rims. I'd probably score 84 or 85. I wouldn't pass the ball. I wouldn't even think about passing it. It would be a like a NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 (video) game, (where) you just shoot with one person.''

Trade talks: If you listen to the scuttlebutt of the national pundits, there was nearly a major West-East trade shakeup in some form this week involving teams from Los Angeles and New Jersey.

Carter to the Clippers for Shaun Livingston? Jason Kidd to the Lakers for Jordan Farmer? Tony Soprano to Sacramento for Arnold Schwarzenegger? Maybe not, but let's look into that one.

The good news for local fans is that neither Mitch Kupchak nor Elgin Baylor is content to sit back these days. Kidd, at 34, probably isn't the answer for the Lakers, who need another season or two before they're title contenders. But Carter to the Clippers? That could have worked out quite nicely.

Meanwhile, here's an interesting nugget from Peter Vecsey's column, which, depending on whom you talk to, is either the gospel as published by the New York Post, or 20-some inches of trash.

Vecsey writes of the Lakers: ``Management's greatest concern is that the team's over reliance on Bryant ultimately will extinguish his flame seasons ahead of time.''

Funny, it didn't seem to bother Michael Jordan. Injuries might be a concern, but not mental stress.

Standing pat: The San Antonio Spurs come to town today for their semi- annual dramatic showdown with the Lakers, and even the Spurs aren't immune to trade rumors.

The model of stability for years, San Antonio might look for a point guard upgrade, as Beno Udrih has failed to meet expectations in a backup role, but coach Gregg Popovich said no trade is imminent.

``(Popovich) made a statement (Wednesday) that he wasn't trading anybody, that we were going to do it together, that this group of guys is going to do it as a team,'' Robert Horry told the San Antonio Express-News. ``But you know who that is. I'm not saying he won't do that, but it's the nature of the business.

``If somebody came up and said, `We'll give you Tracy McGrady,' he would be foolish not to do that.''

Leave it to Horry, the longtime sage of the Lakers' locker room, to sum things up perfectly.

Yellow cards, perhaps: Stu Jackson, the NBA's discipline guru, told Bloomberg News that the league is looking into the idea of calling technical fouls when refs determine that players are flopping.

That's already the rule in international play, and in hockey and soccer, sports in which contact fouls are called, so Jackson said the league will look into the feasibility of punishing players.

``They're really difficult to determine in real time. They're meant to fool an official,'' Jackson told the service. ``Are we going to be wrong more times than not? It's tough, but we're looking at it.''

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CAPTION(S):

2 photos, 4 boxes

Photo:

(1) Though Miami Heat center Shaquille O'Neal has been found more on hte bench because of injury, fans still voted him to start the All-Star Game.

Noah Graham/Getty Images

(2) Milwaukee's Earl Boykins, at 5-foot-5, tries to drive around Clippers 7-footer Chris Kaman.

Michael Owen Baker/Staff Photographer

Box:

1) DAILY NEWS CBS 2/KCAL 9 SPORTS CENTRAL POWER

- Ross Siler

(2) THEY SAID IT

(3) RETURNING THE FAVOR

(4) IN DEFENSE OF THE DEFENSE