SENIORS CAN BEAT THE BLUES.

Byline: BETTIE RENCORET Senior columnist

LANCASTER - Seniors don't have to be plagued by holiday depression, according to Judith Harris. She says it's all a matter of taking care of themselves and developing the right attitude.

Harris was the headline speaker at the Antelope Valley Senior Center during a recent half-day program presented by the Los Angeles Caregiver Resource Center.

Harris, who has a counseling practice in the Santa Clarita area and specializes in geriatric therapy, is known for her humorous talks, including one titled ``He Who Laughs, Lasts.'' She often lectures to seniors about positive thinking and how a sense of humor can not only extend life but give it quality.

Her topic on this occasion was ``How to Suffer in Style.''

Using photo slides to illustrate her words, she quoted Rabbi Harold S. Kuschner, who said, ``Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a nice person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.''

It's important, she said, for people to change their lives to see themselves as heroes instead of victims.

``After all these years of counseling and working with people,'' Harris said, ``I've come to know that a lot of these people have stepped into the wrong story. ... This is not how they felt their life would be. This is not the plan that they had made for themselves.''

She said she just came across a wonderful quotation: ``Write your plans in pencil and give God the eraser.''

She said she never expected when she left New Jersey to come to California many years ago that she would become an expert in suffering.

When dealing with pain you get a different perspective about life, she said.

``Humor is a way of taking back control,'' she said. ``We can't control even one thing that happens out there. The only control we have is how we look at it. I'm not talking about jokes. I'm talking about a way of looking at life.''

She said people tend to hang on to things they can't change, instead of making positive changes.

``Everyone in this room is perfect. Start to think like an optimist, not a pessimist,'' she said. ``The only problem is the story you're telling yourself. Change the words you use. Use affirmations. Manage the news you allow in your life. Keep a journal.''

She noted it's important to be able to laugh at one's self and not take life too seriously. For example, she said, ``Therapy has been defined as the study of the id by the odd.''

Harris said that people sometimes blame their problems on coming from a dysfunctional family.

``I hate that term `dysfunctional family,''' she said, ``because it implies that somewhere out there there's a functional family. That term is now passe. What we have now is `clinically interesting' families.''

She noted that in therapy there are often unresolved parent-child issues to deal with but that it's important to remember that you can't blame everything on something that may have happened at age 7.

``The statute of limitations has run out on that,'' she said.

Unexpected things are always going to happen, said Harris, but that's just part of life and we have to move on with positive indicators from the best parts of the past.

Other speakers at the seminar on ``Caring for the Caregiver'' included Toi Bell, a registered nurse, who spoke on ``Older Adults and Depression,'' and Anita Chun, community education coordinator, concerning the ``Basics of Medicare and Medi-Cal.'' The Los Angeles Caregiver Resource Center (LACRC) theme for the Senior Center program was ``Taking Care of You: Powerful Tools for Caregiving.''

New classes on this subject will start on Jan. 14, 2004, for a suggested donation of $40, which includes ``The Caregiver Helpbook.'' The classes will be held locally in the center's Lancaster office, 44421 10th St. W., Suite I.

The LACRC is partially funded by the Los Angeles County Area Agency on Aging.

For more information, required pre-registration, or respite scholarships, call Joyce F. Welch at [phone].

CAPTION(S):

photo

Photo:

Judith Harris helps seniors beat depression through a ``glass-half-full'' attitude.

Bettie Rencoret/Special to the Daily News