SEND IN THE TROOPS - BUT MAYBE NOT THIS ONE.

Byline: Evan Henerson Staff Writer

`This guy's like the Terminator,'' one evil diamond thief snarls to a second evil diamond thief as their car attempts to lose the angry Marine in hot pursuit. The remark draws a quizzical look, via rear-view mirror, from Rome, the most rotten of the evil diamond thieves.

Since Rome is played by Robert Patrick, who was the indestructible T-1000 in ``Terminator 2: Judgment Day,'' that look is good for a throwaway laugh. Grab 'em while you can, ladies and gents. There's not much about ``The Marine'' that's even slightly diverting. Including, alas, John Cena, the film's villain-dispatching star.

There's Patrick, certainly, who has been directed by John Bonito (or perhaps left to his own devices) to prance around like a psychotic ringleader. The other baddies -- most notably Anthony Ray Parker as a gunman with a persecution complex and a rock-candy phobia -- follow Rome's over-the-top example. Until they're systematically offed.

Oh, am I perhaps spending too much ink talking about the crooks? Well, that's who the movie stays with for the bulk of ``The Marine's'' insufferable 91 minutes. If these villains hadn't been moronic enough to grab the wrong woman for hostage purposes, ``The Marine'' likely wouldn't need a Marine at all.

But they do, and it does. In the film's first scene, Sgt. John Triton (Cena) discovers an -Iraqi prison, is told to wait for back-up, snaps, ``No time!'' and starts firing. He rescues the prisoners, is summarily discharged for disobeying an order, gets the ``You've served your country well'' speech and returns stateside to his adoring wife, Kate (Kelly Carlson).

After a day spent working as a private security guard goes sour, Triton and Kate hit the road for a vacation. At a filling station, they cross paths with Rome's gang, who have stolen a bagful of diamonds -- and murdered a couple of cops -- the day before. The crooks grab Kate, and Triton follows in almost superhuman pursuit. Chases, explosions and miraculous escapes from death follow.

Cena, the World Wrestling Entertainment star positioned by WWE Films to become an action franchise, is not gifted with strong and silent magnetism. Nor is he particularly witty or charming. Yes, we get that the man is on a mission. Yes, he seems to have a remarkable ability to escape certain-death situations with barely a hangnail. Yes, if forced to square off against this guy, we, too, would probably get stomped.

That said, this resourceful Marine is no Terminator, and you can just bet the makers of ``The Marine'' are wishing he were.

Evan Henerson, [phone]

[e-mail]

THE MARINE - One and one half stars

(PG-13: Intense sequences of violent action, sensuality and language)

Starring: John Cena, Kelly Carlson, Robert Patrick.

Director: John Bonito.

Running time: 1 hr. 31 min.

Playing: In wide release.

In a nutshell: When the need for cool action arises, don't send in this Marine.

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World Wrestling Entertainment star-turned-actor John Cena is Sgt. John Triton, who returns home after being discharged from the Iraq war, only to find himself back in action when he must rescue his wife, who is kidnapped by a murderous gang, in ``The Marine.''