SEASON'S A SAD ONE FOR KILLER MOM'S KIN.

Byline: - Sabrina Decker

Relatives of Soccoro ``Cora'' Caro are haunted by the holidays - filled with bittersweet memories of the happy years before the Santa Rosa Valley housewife killed her three sons and faced death row for their murders.

They recall holidays when Caro used to make lavish preparations for her family that included trips to a lakeside home in Northern California, sumptuous dinners with gold-plated silverware, and a home decorated with eight different Christmas trees and all the trimmings.

``I don't even want to remember anything,'' Caro's mother, Juanita Leon, said, her voice breaking. ``We had such beautiful Christmases. It's so hard.''

But Leon does remember. She cries and laughs and recalls how her daughter used to go overboard at Christmastime. She'd put up a little tree for each of her four sons in their bedrooms, an angel-and-ballerina tree in the master bedroom, one upstairs, a big one downstairs and a little ``piggy tree'' in the kitchen decorated exclusively with pig-shaped lights and ornaments.

Caro liked the tree in the front hall so much, she kept it there all year. She would place painted eggs on it for Easter, and apples on it when school started, her mother said.

``This is the way my daughter used to decorate,'' Juanita said. ``Go throughout the house, we'd put lights on the stairway, she'd decorate the outside too. It will never be the same. It will never be the same.''

This year, Leon spent a tranquil holiday with her husband's large family in Sylmar. They made tamales together and visited with one another. Her family tries to keep her busy this time of year, she said.

In years past, she and her husband would accompany their daughter, son-in-law and grandsons up to their lakefront vacation property in Waterford, Calif., for Christmas.

The Caro and Leon families were also packed and ready to go there for Thanksgiving the night before the boys were killed on Nov. 22, 1999.

Leon left her daughter's side shortly before the boys' deaths that fateful night. She has nightmares now that her grandsons are calling to her, and she is unable to reach them.

``I keep asking myself: Why did I leave? Why did I leave?'' she said.

Prosecutors said during the trial that shortly after Leon left the house that night, Caro shot her sons to punish her estranged husband for walking out on her. She then made an unsuccessful attempt at suicide, they said.

Jurors found Caro guilty of three counts of first-degree murder, and recommended the death penalty earlier this month. Superior Court Judge Donal Coleman will decide this February whether to uphold the decision or sentence her to life in prison without parole.

Caro - a religious woman who has never confessed to the killings - said during the trial that she does not recall the events immediately surrounding the boys' deaths. Defense experts bolstered her claim by testifying that the gunshot wound she sustained to the head that night might well have blocked off a part of her memory.

In her heart, Juanita feels certain her daughter could not be responsible. She spoke with her daughter on the telephone this Christmas, after visiting with her only a few days before.

``She just misses her boys,'' Leon said. ``And she says, 'Oh Mom, I miss them so much Mom,' and what can I do? There's nothing I can do about it.''

Caro's husband, Dr. Xavier Caro, a Northridge rheumatologist who arrived home to discover the grisly scene that night, was also struggling with the Christmas holiday. He tried to make it as joyful as possible for his remaining son, Gabriel, now 3 years old, said Howard Bragman, a spokesman for the doctor.

Prosecutors said Gabriel was spared because it took two of the four bullets to kill his 5-year-old brother, Christopher. Blood evidence indicated that Christopher may have tried to escape his killer after the first bullet only grazed his skull.

Such grueling blood evidence and grief-stricken testimony have left both sides of the family reeling, weeks after the trial has ended.

Many members of Cora Caro's extended family sat through the trial's most difficult moments, among them Juanita Leon's sister, Sally Guzman.

Guzman decorated her Christmas tree this year in memory of the three great-nephews she once doted on. It bears pictures of the boys and piles of stuffed animals.

``They were such good kids,'' Guzman said. ``We went all over the place together, amusement parks, Legoland. ... I decorated a tree for them last year, but this year I really went all out.''

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Photo:

Photos of the slain Caro brothers adorn the Christmas tree of Sally Guzman of Canoga Park, aunt to the boys' mother, Cora, who has been convicted of murdering them in 1999.

Michael Owen Baker/Staff Photographer