SCHOOL HELPERS MISTRUSTED : PARENTS QUESTION AGENDA OF GROUP ASSISTING DAMAGED SAN JOSE CAMPUS.

Byline: Sarah Lubman San Jose Mercury News 

At first, the offer of free help seemed like the answer to the dreams of an elementary school still trying to recover from a devastating fire.

With the help of a parent, a Bay Area nonprofit group called the International Community Service Day Foundation chose Santa Teresa Elementary School in South San Jose as one of its annual projects. Next month, hundreds of volunteers plan to build a new playground and library shelves, landscape, paint murals and help spruce up the school that was damaged in an arson in December 1994.

After nearly two months of regular contact with the Oakland-based organization, however, some Santa Teresa parents now want out.

They say they're uncomfortable with the tone of ICSD's Saturday morning team-building sessions for volunteers at which parents and teachers have been asked to form a circle, repeat a ``creed'' that includes belief in ``miracles,'' and join the foundation for a fee that ranges from $5 (student) to $1,000 (``Miracle Maker'').

``I don't trust them,'' said parent Joyce Collier, who went to one meeting with a neighbor. ``I won't go back.''

Peter Rosomoff, a member of ICSD's board and the group's treasurer, said the 10-year-old foundation has no agenda beyond fostering a sense of community.

``We're not there to promote ourselves,'' he said. The group has led projects in more than 250 communities throughout North America, mostly in public schools.

And Santa Teresa Principal Linda Barrientos said she's sympathetic to the foundation's stated goal and supports its efforts.

Certainly, ICSD has left good impressions in many other districts. Carol Myers, a San Jose Unified School District trustee and an East Side Union High School district teacher, recalled the foundation's 1991 work in East Side as ``pretty positive stuff.'' Trustee Kent Bates of the Franklin McKinley School District in San Jose, said that while the group's meetings at Hellyer School sometimes were ``a borderline revival,'' the work they accomplished - repairing water fountains and repainting the school's exterior - was ``terrific.''

Yet Santa Teresa parents aren't the only ones to raise questions about the group.

Three school districts have asked the foundation to leave in the past 10 years, including two in Canada, Rosomoff said.

In addition, officials from three Silicon Valley districts where ICSD has been active say that although their schools benefited, they developed qualms about the group's approach. A school official at one of the Canadian districts says they also were troubled by the group's links to a for-profit firm called the Sterling Institute of Relationship.

The Sterling Institute, which shares an Oakland address with ICSD, was founded in 1978 by Arthur J. Kasarjian. Kasarjian changed his name in 1979 to A. Justin Sterling, according to court records. Sterling teaches $500 men's and women's weekend seminars based on his philosophy - outlined in a 1992 book - that since men are ``slaves to their egos,'' women are ``100 percent responsible for the success of their relationships.''

``At any moment, a man can be a `killer' or a `hero,' '' wrote Sterling, who is president and founder of the Sterling Institute and ICSD. ``It is up to you to bring out the hero in your man.''

At least two former Sterling participants have likened the institute to a cult and say it pressures seminar graduates to stay involved and recruit members. Two cult monitoring groups, the Spiritual Counterfeit Project in Berkeley and the Chicago-based Cult Awareness Network, said they have received a small but steady stream of complaints about the seminars.

Sterling's most vocal critic is Sue Watson, a Canadian secretary whom the Sterling Institute sued in 1994 after she publicly criticized the group and blamed it for destroying her marriage. The suit, filed in state court in Alameda County, alleged that Watson breached a confidentiality agreement with the Sterling Institute and revealed trade secrets. Sterling, who Rosomoff said was traveling and not available for an interview, dismissed Watson's account in court documents as ``misleading and false.''

The Sterling Institute dropped the suit in 1995 because it was ``too expensive'' and Watson had no money, said Rosomoff, who is also a Sterling Institute director. He added that the institute doesn't force recruitment, but ``encourages referrals.''

But Watson's comments also took on the nonprofit foundation. In a court statement and a recent interview, Watson called ICSD - then named the Sterling Community Service Foundation - a ``front group . . . which tries to get good publicity for Sterling'' through community projects.

Watson's statements are ``lies,'' Rosomoff said. He added that ICSD, whose federal tax statements show no financial support from the Sterling Institute, explicitly warns members not to mention or promote the for-profit firm.

Rosomoff acknowledged that while part of ICSD's creed reflects Sterling's philosophy - ``There are differences between men and women which we honor, value and respect'' - the fact that so many ICSD volunteers are Sterling seminar graduates simply reflects their desire to help and isn't intended to promote the institute.

But some school districts tell a different story.

Joan Beck, assistant superintendent for the Coquitlam School District in British Columbia, said foundation volunteers tried to recruit parents to join the Sterling Institute while helping to fix the grounds of a local elementary school in 1993.

The volunteers were ``trying to encourage parents to become involved and take seminars at $500 a weekend,'' Beck said. The foundation left at the district's request, although members kept calling parents, she added.

Rosomoff acknowledged there were problems in Canada, and said some foundation volunteers ``were being overenthusiastic'' about the Sterling Institute. ``It happens,'' he said. ``We can't control what people do.''

Rosomoff and Gwen Tillman, ICSD's executive director, say they aren't aware of recruitment attempts or complaints in other school districts.

But officials in three Santa Clara County school districts have expressed reservations about having ICSD volunteers back.

In 1993 the foundation painted and helped install playground equipment at two East Palo Alto schools. Michele Murnane, a project coordinator for the Ravenswood City School District, said one employee repeatedly was invited to what appeared to be Sterling-related activities, including a ``male bonding'' weekend.

Murnane said parents felt pressured to form a circle and praise ICSD. ``I wouldn't want to do the experience again,'' she said.

Officials in San Jose's Alum Rock and Berryessa Union school districts also said they had numerous questions from parents and teachers about ICSD, and weren't sure they would want the group back. Alum Rock prohibited ICSD from soliciting people to join the foundation during its work there last year, said Linda Latasa, the district's assistant superintendent for business. The group complied, she said.

``We were concerned that it could have a religious affiliation,'' she said. Foundation director Rosomoff denied the group has any religious identity.

The principal of Berryessa's Northwood School wrote Justin Sterling an effusive thank-you letter after the group helped spiff up the grounds in 1994. But Patricia Stelwagon, an assistant superintendent in the Berryessa district, said more than a dozen parents complained about the group, and she's not sure she would want them back. The principal could not be reached for comment.

``Schools are always so vulnerable, because we need so many things,'' Stelwagon said. ``We're not good at saying, `What do you want from us?' ''

Some Santa Teresa parents are asking that very question.

Collier and seven others who attended recent ICSD meetings or fund-raisers say they are uneasy about being asked to join the nonprofit group.

Foundation officials say membership donations are split evenly between Santa Teresa and the foundation, and will help fund Santa Teresa's $120,000 project.

Several parents also said they were bothered by the predominance of outside volunteers at the meetings, along with group hugs and what they viewed as odd, sometimes spiritual exercises.

Robin Mingione said she was particularly put off when a meeting leader told her to shut her eyes, imitate a sheep and migrate toward other people making the same sound.

``I kept my eyes open, didn't make a noise and went toward the people who were baa-ing,'' she said. ``I wasn't real comfortable.''

Tillman, ICSD's executive director, said the animal-imitation exercise probably was intended as an ``ice breaker,'' and that some longtime ICSD activists may hug each other out of familiarity.

Mingione and parent Karen Beach say they plan to ask Barrientos next week to either cut ties with ICSD or ask the group to change its approach.

Barrientos said she contacted three principals in Oakland, Franklin McKinley and Alum Rock districts who had prior contact with ICSD and none had misgivings about the group.