SCENE STEALERS.Byline: David Bloom Staff Writer It was a sun-roasted Southern California Sunday afternoon for the annual perp walk Perp Walk A slang term describing the police action of parading an arrested suspect in handcuffs before the media. Notes: Short for "perpetrator walk," this is a practice with which many people disagree, considering these re-staged arrests to be merely media spectacles known as the red carpet arrival area for the Emmys, the ``We Try Harder'' award show for the Avis of entertainment media, television. Way too many parboiled parboiled partly cooked. humans in black milled about in the canyon of celebrity silliness, where famous people who hate photographers troll up and down the aisle posing thoughtfully and repeatedly for, well, photographers. Rather than bore the beloved reader with details such as dressmakers (you aren't going to buy these things anyway), let's adjourn to the real awards, handed out for achievement during the afternoon's ambulations on the wide red rug: Most omnipresent color (other than black): Beige. Why? Who knows, especially given the less-than-scintillating results on some of Hollywood's finest (Gillian Anderson and Camryn Mannheim among others). Let this trend die here. Color we most liked that no one else bothered to wear: A summery yellow gown painted in geometric fashion onto the angelically coiffed Sarah Jessica Parker. Winner of the You Clean Up Real Nice Award: Patricia Heaton. Ray Romano's long-suffering TV spouse on ``Everybody Loves Raymond'' showed far more cleavage in the bosom-high cutout cut·out n. 1. Something cut out or intended to be cut out from something else. 2. Electricity A device that interrupts, bypasses, or disconnects a circuit or circuit element. 3. of a Randolph Duke white pantsuit than she's never shown on the blue-collar comedy. Fabulous five (female category): Lucy Liu (everyone's favorite dragon lady on ``Ally McBeal'' had them all sighing); Jeri Ryan (7 of 9 on ``Star Trek: Voyager''? Nah, she rated at least 11 of 9 in a form-fitting beaded gown and, thank goodness, no alien makeup); Jennifer Aniston (the next hairdo to influence a generation); Christine Lahti (almost sent five men to the ``E.R.'' in that gray, beaded gown); and Julia Roberts (``Notting Hill'' redux, but with a better-looking beau, real-life man Benjamin Bratt). Feed 'Em Four: Calista Flockhart (naturally, though she covered up well with a loose shirt and bright yellow satin skirt covering knife-blade hips); Keri Russell (even her hair is short now); Kirstin Davis from ``Sex in the City'' (nice beaded belt wrapped around her strapless strap·less adj. Having no strap or straps, as a dress or an undergarment. n. A garment having no strap or straps. strapless Adjective gown); and Jody Foster (the incredible shrinking powerhouse). Girl most likely to snap you in half: Beefy beefy, beefyness 1. in dog conformation, used to describe overdevelopment of musculature in the hindquarters. 2. in cattle, used to designate the desirable physical conformation of a beef animal, but an undesirable character in dairy cattle. wrestler Chyna, wearing silver-studded black PVC PVC: see polyvinyl chloride. PVC in full polyvinyl chloride Synthetic resin, an organic polymer made by treating vinyl chloride monomers with a peroxide. torture wear that MacGyver could use for lethal weapons. She had bigger biceps than any three of the plentiful security guards. Most blatant play on stars' rampant social insecurities: E!'s booth sign saying, ``Worried about bad breath? Free Altoids here,'' with a pile of the breath mints like bird feed for the Roadrunner roadrunner or chaparral cock Either of two species of terrestrial cuckoo, especially Geococcyx californianus (family Cuculidae), of Mexican and southwestern U.S. deserts. About 22 in. . Most regrettable facial hair trend (male): sideburns side·burns pl.n. Growths of hair down the sides of a man's face in front of the ears, especially when worn with the rest of the beard shaved off. [Alteration of burnsides. (Jay Mohr, Dylan McDermott, Brad Pitt and more). Most regrettable facial hair trend (female): None, thank goodness. But there was a definite trend for the hair on top, which is to say, put it up. Then again, it was hot. But Portia de Rossi Portia de Rossi, born Amanda Lee Rogers on January 31, 1973, is an Australian actress who is best known for her roles as lawyer Nelle Porter on the television series Ally McBeal and as Lindsay Bluth Fünke on the television series Arrested Development. , she of the Gateway Arch eyebrows, ripped-lining gown and knee-length velvet boots, looks so much better on ``Ally McBeal,'' or on the carpet, with her hair down. Just one man's opinion. Like Mother, Like Daughter Award: Joan Rivers and daughter Melissa (how do they both get their faces to stretch the same way? And how about Melissa's Ubangi tribeswoman tribes·wom·an n. 1. A woman who is a member of one's own tribe. 2. A woman who is a member of an aboriginal people living in tribes. choker?); runner-up LeeLee Sobieski and mother Elizabeth. Biggest exposure by a starlet star·let n. 1. A small star. 2. A young film actress publicized as a future star. starlet Noun a young actress who has the potential to become a star Noun 1. seeking a new gig: Geena Lee Nolin, ex of ``Baywatch.'' We can definitively say she was wearing thong underwear. Black. With no bra. Most ridiculously over-the-top outfit (media division): Nancy O'Dell of ``Access Hollywood.'' Her harem chic (or is that sheik?) gray-green velvet two-piece with see-through panels made enough of a splash that other outlets interviewed her. CAPTION(S): 9 photos Photo: (1 -- color) Benjamin Bratt, showing less hair is more, and girlfriend Julia Roberts pause on the red carpet. (2) Dylan McDermott, of `The Practice,' slips into the '60s with sideburns and a side part. (3 -- 4 -- color) Fab Five winner Jennifer Anikston and her date Brad Pitt wave to enthusiastic crowds outside the Shrine Auditorium on Sunday. Jodie Foster, below, is seen here in a beaded Armani gown. (5 -- 6 -- color) Everybody loved Patricia Heaton, left, in her Randolph Duke pantsuit. Mother and daughter duo Joan and Melissa Rivers, both in basic black, hosted red-carpet coverage for E!. (7 -- color) Left, ``3rd Rock's'' Kristen Johnston, who won Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, and ``Will & Grace's'' Debra Messing offer up a double dose of beige - this year's prominent noncolor. (8 -- 9 -- color) A full yellow satin skirt and loose-fitting blouse envelop en·vel·op tr.v. en·vel·oped, en·vel·op·ing, en·vel·ops 1. To enclose or encase completely with or as if with a covering: "Accompanying the darkness, a stillness envelops the city" the slim silhouette of ``Ally McBeal's'' Calista Flockhart. Below, Lucy Liu swathes herself in a black and red ensemble. |
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