Running Out the Clock.

--For JPO

When we started living together we used to sit at a wooden table
Side by side studying, touching each other between the legs,
Remember, and in a sense we have gone on doing that.

We carry each other's minds everywhere for safekeeping,
Our bodies bear traces of each other's bodies,
Surface and depth, when you are absent I sleep on your side of the bed.

You made me laugh, I made you be serious, we taught each other
Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might
And many other pieces of ancient wit,

Thereby hung a tale, our tales, our tails, we worked our asses off
And played as hard as we could, not to waste the time that on earth
Was given us, to live as our parents living and dead would approve,

To raise the children healthy and smart, and good and free,
To earn respect and love, though it is not polite to say it,
As much love as we could possibly--

Arriving at what should be the age of wisdom we keep very busy,
You say what we're doing is running out the clock
As if we could stop the other team from beating us,

Or erase our mistakes. I say I feel the undertow,
Some water still pushing in, breaking in a lively froth, but also
The seductive pull outward, downward, not especially cold or
frightening,

More a call from afar, Let go, little boat, let go, you can swim,
Whatever else we're doing, wherever we are, we are having this
conversation--
After living so many years with the din of duty and of ego

If it is time to give them a rest, we wonder what will follow.
We are almost ready. Whether we sit at table or lie warmly in bed,
What we feel in the deep heart's core is a little afraid,

A little set for adventure, getting ready to go.
I go where I love and where I am loved, said H.D.
When she was old, Into the snow.