Reviving the Tribe: Regenerating Gay Men's Sexuality and Culture in the Ongoing Epidemic.

By Eric Rofes. New York: The Haworth Press, 1996, 318 pages. Paper, $14.95.

Reviewed by Robert O. Hawkins, Jr., Ph.D., Professor Emeritus, State University of New York at Stony Brook, 6 Beech Lane, Stony Brook, NY 11790-2106.

Using interdisciplinary research and personal experiences, Eric Rofes has given us a much needed, scholarly, insider's view of men who are attracted erotically to other men and has provided us at last with an understanding of the devastating impact that AIDS has had on the psyche an physical aspect of gay men's lives, including men who are not yet infected with the virus. He has given us an excellent source for assessing judgementalism toward gay men on the part of the helping professional and also has posed some very difficult questions that must be answered if we are to give gay men a chance to reclaim their lives. Anyone concerned with the mental or sexual health of gay or bisexual men, especially interested in helping gay men thrive beyond survival, should read this book.

Nowhere have I heard or read such clear explanations for why some of us continue to engage in less than safe sex and why many messages that we have been given concerning expectations for our sexual activity are homophobic or heterosexist and consequently ineffective. For example, in discussing HIV/AIDS education, Rofes points out that men who have sex with men have been to loudly and clearly that they should give up anal intercourse and be satisfied with other means of sexually interacting, yet no one has suggested that men and women who have sex with each other should give up penis-vagina intercourse and be satisfied with alternative, safer activities. This approach to safer sex has ignored the emotional and physical importance that anal intercourse has for some gay and bisexual men. Rofes also acknowledges that sex is a source of pleasure as well as serving other functions, and the pursuit of that pleasure explains some behavior of human beings in general, and of some gay men in particular. Ignoring the pleasure motivational aspect of behavior has been a major weakness in both education and prevention programs focused on gay and bisexual men.

The inclusion of personal experiences and feelings adds a unique dimension to the theory, suggestions, and questions that are posed. When you read Rofes' description of sexual activity with his primary partner and the narrative of his experience in a sex club in San Francisco, be aware of your reactions to the activity, especially your emotional reactions. If you can understand and accept rather than react negatively, then you are on your way to an understanding of many gay men, especially those who are HIV negative, and will have a base to begin to help these men regain control of their lives. If, instead, you read it and begin to question the appropriateness of his activity or whether he really loves his partner, then you need to look at your set of assumptions on which such questions are based. It is time that mental health professionals took notice of the uniqueness of the socialization process that some gay men have experienced, and to become aware of the heterosexist bias included in many theories about relationships, especially intimate relationships.

For example, Charles Silverstein (1981) attempted to point this out years ago when he discussed the meaning of faithfulness and intimacy in some gay male relationships, suggesting that they might have a different meaning to a gay couple than to a heteroerotic couple. David McWhirter and Andrew Mattison attempted to educate us about the same issues in their 1984 book, The Male Couple. Yet even today I hear professionals express an inability to understand that a person can be in a very loving, committed, intimate relationship with someone else and yet still have sexual partners, even emotional partners, outside this relationship without harming it, perhaps even strengthening it. Reviving the Tribe attempts once again to educate us all that this is possible for some couples, so that attempts to enrich our lives will at least acknowledge this possibility.

Rofes begins this book by explaining why some gay men, especially those who live in major cities, are exhibiting behavior that is sometimes difficult to understand, unless you are familiar with the effect of constant, severe trauma brought about by the deaths of family, friends, and acquaintances, what Rofes calls a "death-saturated culture." To place the current situation into focus, Rofes writes,

identities, profoundly warped sexuality

and intimate relations, and

reaffirmed bigoted subconscious

linkages between homosexuality

and contagion. . . . [resulting] in

bizarre patterns of social dislocation,

the debasement and destruction

of specific social and sexual

institutions and radically transformed

gay male cultural life as

we had known it. (p. 31)

Importantly, Rofes also notes that the absence of any focus on the mental health of the uninfected has itself led to unsafe, infecting behavior.

To give the reader a sample of the importance of this book for HIV/AIDS education, Rofes identifies what he calls "a series of half-truths, blatant distortions, and outright lies" (p. 140). Those of you who are consumers of HIV/AIDS education or providers of such and have believed or promulgated any of the following absolutely must read this book:

Sucking dick and getting fucked

present equivalent risk for HIV infection

when performed without

condoms.

Rimming is an easy way to catch

HIV.

Good gay men practice safe sex

100 percent of the time.

Condoms are fun.

Swallowing semen is dangerous.

Spit it out.

The top is as likely to become infected

through anal sex as the bottom.

Anal intercourse without protection

is never acceptable.

A Latex condom is the only way to

make fucking safer.

HIV-positive men shouldn't have

unprotected anal sex together because

they can catch new strains

of the AIDS virus.

Massage, footrubs, and hugging

are forms of sex. (p. 140)

In the section on HIV/AIDS education in his "Strategies for the Coming Years," Rofes points out that education models traditionally are dualistic, placing the teacher as the possessor of knowledge and the student as the willing consumer and that such models are ineffective for certain groups, such as people who have been marginalized or colonized and members of oppressed groups. Because gay men are members of an oppressed group, education focused on gay men needs to be different from the traditional dualistic type. Specifically, Rofes cites the work of Paolo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed) as it relates to education for behavior change among oppressed people, wherein the model identified as liberation education emphasizes "inquiry, problem solving, and dialogue" (p. 213), with the goal being to increase the quality of life as well as longevity. In examining the Freireian approach, Rofes notes that people have the ability and the right to make informed decisions, including decisions about sex. This would mean that instead of using "tactics of moralizing, shaming, and coercion, . . . [we would institute] a process which respects each man's ability to ma e choices and manage risks" (p. 214). Although Rofes cites a few instances where HIV/AIDS education programs for oppressed populations are based on Friereian theories, many of our programs today are not, and this may be why they are not effective. As Rofes says, there must be equal concern for longevity and quality of gay men's lives, with an understanding of the interaction between them. There must be a reconceptualization of the information needs of gay men, and the approach to motivation needs to be based on a consideration of individual mental health, addiction, and the integration of a gay identity with other identities, such as ethnic or professional identities. Behavioral skills need to be developed in group sessions, meeting weekly, with men who share interests, and there should also be sex surrogates available to work with individuals and couples.

Rofes suggests three approaches that are necessary if we are interested in improving the quality of life for gay men. First, we must improve our understanding of the sociology and psychology of gay men. This book is a major step in that direction. Second, we must investigate survivors of other disasters and human atrocities so that we can better understand how the mind functions in these situations. He gives us some of that research in citations throughout this book. Third, we must take an integrated approach to improving the lives of gay men, including their politics, education, arts , leisure activities, sexuality, and other aspects of living. He quite accurately suggests that any such approach must first clear the "muddled" thinking concerning our erotic lives. This book is also a major step in that direction. It should be required reading for anyone who is gay or who is working with gay men in an attempt to help us enrich our lives.

References

McWhirter, D., & Mattison, A. (1984). The male couple. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.

Silverstein, C. (1981). Man to man: Gay couples in America. New York: William Morrow.