Remaining alcohol-free through the holidays.

Once again we're in the midst of the hectic holiday season, noted for excess ive food and drink consumption. December also includes two religious holidays, Christmas and Hanukkah, sacred to more than a third of the world's population.

But the season is paradoxical. On the one hand it's a time of giving and re ceiving, filled with beautiful demonstrations of love and joy. On the other, many people find the holidays a time of deep despair, filled with depression and loneliness. For them the meaning lessness, frenzied shopping, and ritualistic gift exchanges distort the true mea ning of the season. They have trouble coping with the tension and, in some cases, the isolation, real or imagined. Many people must wo rk very hard to stay serene during the holidays, while others must work very hard to stay sober.

The season is especially difficult for recovering alcoholics who are entering this season for the first time with plans to stay sober. From November 26 to January 1 the recovering alcoholic faces a very high-risk period. Even if you're not convinced you're an al- coholic or that alcohol presents a problem, it is a good time for plan ning how not to drink.

As a recovering alcoholic, I know firsthand the feeling of what it's like to face this season. I've also had professional training in addiction recovery. Realistically, staying sober isn't going to be all fun and games, but let me share some suggestions from my experi- ence.

Not even one. First if you are an alcoholic, it is imperative that you maintain your sobriety during this period. This is a critical aspect of your re covery process/progress. You cannot afford to have even one beer, one glass of champagne, or one cup of alcohol-laced eggnog. Abstinence is not a part- time endeavor to be adjusted according to the social norms, because your "social norm" is not having even one drink--period!

If you' ve got some sobriety under your belt, don't break the cycle. Don't try what's referred to as "controlled drinking"; it doesn't work.

So what can you do to maintain your sobriety during this high-risk period? Members of Alcoholics Anonymous, for example, fill this risky time with extra activities. Many groups hold "alcaholics anonymous," AA meetings held three, fou r, or more times a day. Members drive from group to group and fend off holi day blues and thoughts of their addiction with numerous meetings, warm fellow ship, good food, and nonalcoholic beverages.

Serenity is for everyone. To help maintain your mental balance, remem- ber that the best way to enjoy the holidays is to stay in the "now." If things really begin to get tight for you, stop whatever you're doing, wherever you are, ask for help from God, and tell yourself--every hour, if necessary--"I am not going to pick up a drink today."

Saying the serenity prayer numerous times during the day will help keep you on course:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change [You certainly cannot change the holiday sea- son's dates or the festivities that accompany them], the courage to change the things I can [the time and place of possible exposures that might tempt you to pick up a drink], and the wisdom to know the difference."

Don't become isolated. Stanley Gitlow, prominent New York psychotherapist an d nationally known alcoholism lecturer, says that in more than 30 years he has never come across an alcoholic or alcohol abuser who was not suffering from isolation. Either isolation because of drinking patterns or drinking because of isolation patterns. Isolation, no matter what the circumstances, is devastating for the recovering alcoholic and must be avoided at any cost, especially during holidays.

If it's not possible to be with your family, then become involved with friends and neighbors during this critical period. Do not spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year's alone.

Why not volunteer some time helping at a local Salvation Army facility, homeless shelter, or a nursing home in your area? Reach out side of yourself in some way to avoid being alone during the holiday. You'll be immensely pleased with how doing something for others will help you maintain your sobriety during this time. Giving, especially of yourself, does wonders for keeping balanced.

Social pressure. Avoid going to parties where you know there will be a lot of drinking. If for business (of rice Christmas parties can be the "kiss of death") or family reasons your attendance is mandatory, then go, socialize a bit, have a couple soft drinks, and discreetly excuse your- self. If you know this action is fight for you, don't waste your time wor- rying about what others will think. Chances are that most people will not notice whether or not you're drinking or what time you leave. Don't over expose yourself to these temptations.

Keep a dry house. Don't bring any alcoholic beverages into your home. If a situation develops where family members or friends bring wine, beer, or spirits to your home lot a party, stay away from playing bartender. After the festivities, be sure any leftover alcohol departs with those who brought it. Or ask a trusted family member who supports you to dispose of it.

Get some exercise. Although the holidays will mean a full schedule for many people, there is bound to be some free time. When you consider how much time you spent drinking (or making plans to drink), as your work schedule eases you'll have blank spaces to fill. It might be the right time to join a health club and start a regular exercise program. Or get together with a group that walks, jogs, or bicycles on a weekly basis. Become involved in some leisure activities that require physical exercise.

Stay drug-free. Do not succumb to the temptation to use any alterna- tive drugs, prescription or otherwise. Dr. Gitlow states that any physician who folds under to the patient who pleads "Doc, you've gotta give me something to get me through the holidays without drinking" is only con- tributing to that person's continued addiction.

When it gets tough for you during the holidays, think about the conse- quences if you pick up that first drink, no matter what the reason.

Make up your mind to stay alcohol-free and maintain the sobriety you've already accomplished. You will be grateful you did.