Reader forum.

Queer as we wanna be

I've often thought of writing, feeling that I am seldom represented in The Advocate. Your article "Inside Queer as Folk" [November 21] was enough to make me actually take laptop in hand. The article states that the show was "`written and filmed with the intention of showing all aspects of gay life honestly'... foam parties, nipple piercings, recreational drug use, and scads of same-sex lovemaking scenes." I'm a gay male, pushing hard on 65, living in rural Colorado, and coping with all the problems of caring for my 99-year-old father and his wife and moving them into an assisted-living facility. I know I'm far outside the mainstream of gay life, but it seems as if you might recognize that there is a world beyond, a world where a great many gay men and women live and lead more ordinary lives. Maybe it isn't quite as exciting and glamorous, but it is the real world.

Ray E. Hard, Blanca, Colo.

I'm a huge fan of the British version of Queer as Folk, a Showtime subscriber, and the editor of A&F Quarterly, and I was upset about Daniel Lipman's jab at Abercrombie & Fitch. A&F has a policy of not giving clothes to any program or magazine, editorials, movies, etc. I hope Lipman realizes that the reality is not quite as paranoid as he seems to indicate.

Savas Abadsidis, New York, N. Y.

In Howie Klein's column [My Perspective, November 21], he says, "When I watched all the episodes of the original U.K. Queer as Folk, I was depressed that it offered basically one image of gay men." Channel Four and Russell T. Davies, writer and co-producer of the original series, point out that the show was never meant to be representational of all gay men. It's a drama series. It's television.

I know gay people very much like the characters in the original series. But that representation is incidental. What I find most hypocritical about gay politicos and indeed the gay "community" is, on one hand they say to the world we have a right to be who we are and on the other hand that we should all be buff young men who always practice safe sex, are out at the clubs on Saturday night, and march in the annual parade.

This way of thinking marginalizes a sizable number of us. I can't tell you how many people I've talked to who readily identify as gay but make a point of saying they are not part of the "gay scene." There will always be bigots; it's human nature. We should not try to sugarcoat ourselves, and I reject the notion that every gay man should conduct himself as an ambassador of the global gay village. We diminish our own humanity by being only what we want to portray to the world and each other.

David Berry, Glenview, Ill.

I couldn't help but find myself outraged, defenseless, and ashamed as I read "Inside Queer as Folk," knowing that Showtime will air this program. I suppose and do hope the program will have some positive merits and not only be entertaining but also educate and inform our society that the gay lifestyle is not this stereotypical life. We must continue to enlighten society about gays, and if Queer as Folk is one way to do this, I hope they do so with grace and dignity.

Michael Tipton, via the Internet

I don't know what was more painful to read in Klein's essay: the admission that some gay kids felt that the "normal-acting" Harvey Milk made it "easier for them to go on living" or the disparaging light in which the "queerer" folks--the florists, macho leather queens, "swishy" muscle boys--were cast. That description of what gay social critic Michael Warner calls "the good gay versus the bad queer dichotomy" is precisely what is most troubling about Klein's essay--and the way many of us understand ourselves and each other.

My advice to GLBTQ kids: Be yourself, be it "normal," "swishy," "macho," "femme," or any other behavioral variation thereof. Remember that Queer as Folk is not the only game in town. And remember that those you fear the most often have the most to teach you!

Benjamin Perkins, Brighton, Mass.

Breaking the silence

Your article "Seen But Seldom Heard" [November 21] really hit home for a Kansas deaf gay man. It was good to see some light being shed upon a small group of people who are not heard. When I was in high school back in the `50s, you never heard the words "gay" or "queer." I never even knew there was such a thing as a gay person; I just knew I was different than most of the guys in school. It was a long time before I met another gay man in Kansas. Thanks for showing the gay world there are deaf gay people out there and that they need some attention so they don't have to live in a silent world.

Thomas A. Hodges, Kansas City, Kan.

Your article does not speak for me, a deaf gay male who is also part of the general gay community. The attitude of deaf gays is not that "hearing gays don't care about us." There is a reason for the deaf GLBT community's general silence. When a hearing person participates within the deaf social structure, there is a tendency for them to "take over." While this causes an uproar, there is also a prevention "immunity" reaction to make sure this does not happen again.

The declaration that the Rainbow Alliance for the Deaf is a political organization is false. RAD has not actively pursued any educational efforts to bridge the gap between deaf and hearing groups. The organization has done absolutely nothing to benefit the deaf GLBT community except to provide a biannual social gathering. The fact that the deaf GLBT group at Gallaudet looked to NGLTF and HRC for assistance supports this.

Gary Wolford, Baltimore, Md.

As a sign language researcher and interpreter, I was taken aback by numerous inaccuracies in Steve Friess's article. The most commonly used signs for "gay" and "lesbian" are G and L hand shapes that tap the chin. (In addition, the sign for "lesbian" does not derive from the sign for "cunnilingus." Only when persons, intent on being offensive, modify the articulation does it have any similarity.) The finger spelling "g-a-y" in place of the sign "gay" is a politically correct invention commonly used by the straight deaf. The sign described as "faggot" (F hand shape tapping the chin) is itself a recent invention used almost exclusively by straight Gallaudet University students.

And regardless of how one may feel about the Millennium March, the assertion that sign language interpreters were not provided for is a myth. As a member of the team of gay and lesbian interpreters gathered from around the country, I can assure you, not one second of any of the march's events was without sign language interpretation.

Gary C. Johnson, Washington, D.C.

Ex-bisexual?

The "gay versus `ex-gay'" debate about John Paulk ["After the Fall," November 21] completely overlooks the possibility that Paulk may be a bisexual who was convinced to change from an actively gay "lifestyle" to a straight one. His visit to the gay bar suggests that his male-directed hormones are still active despite his marriage. I can understand why the ex-gay groups want to ignore the bisexual possibility and would prefer to think that Paulk has been "cured." But why have all too many of our gay spokespeople, who seem to pride themselves on inclusivity, overlooked the possibility of bisexuality in the ex-gay controversy? Is this oversight blindness, forgetfulness, or some sort of "bisexualphobia"?

Harry D. Simmons, Lakewood, Ohio

Undercounted

The map accompanying a very well intentioned piece on state legislative races ["The State of the States," November 7] has apparently left some readers with the impression that the small number of races spotlighted were the only state legislative races involving openly gay, lesbian, and bisexual candidates this year. That is not the case. The Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund supported 20 such candidates--and there were many others who either did not seek or did not receive our endorsement. Aside from inadvertently misleading readers to underestimate the number of candidates, the error also undercut the article's main point about the unprecedented progress we are making in electing our community's own open candidates at the state level, where so much of our equal rights struggle is taking place.

Sloan C. Wiesen Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund Washington, D.C.