Rangers 0-0 Celtic

30 min: Rangers win a corner after a decent shimmy from Darcheville down the left. Davis swings a completely dreadful corner into the box, straight at Samaras. That was the first time the home side enjoyed a period of possession in enemy territory, and they waste it.

27 min: So next to nothing has happened as of yet. In terms of over-hyped nonsense utterly failing to deliver, this is almost working at Premier League levels. Almost, but not quite.

25 min: McManus flips Darcheville into the air like a greasy egg and is booked for his trouble. Free kick to Rangers down the right, near the corner flag. There's a debate about the placing of the ball, which leads to Thomson getting booked. The free kick is wasted.

23 min: Good work from McGeady again down the left; he wins a corner. Nakamura takes and finds the head of McManus, who sends an effort just wide of the bottom-right corner. Rangers are not playing very well here at all.

20 min: Samaras slips a ball straight down the centre of the pitch for Brown, who bursts into the box. It looks like he's certain to score but, under pressure from Whittaker, he clanks the ball into the ground and McGregor can parry with ease. It's suggested Brown was nicked by the Rangers defender, and Vennegoor of Hesselink is booked after a trenchant debate with the ref.

17 min: Celtic are seeing much more of the ball. Brown bursts through the centre and slips a ball forward to Nakamura, who turns and slaps a shot goalwards. It's easily saved by McGregor, but Celtic are slowly beginning to turn the screw.

16 min: There's not much going on here, you know.

11 min: Broadfoot swings one in from the right for McCullouch, the ball clanking off the big striker's head and out of play. George Burley is pictured in the stand; like a consumate politician, he is having the decency to look like he doesn't care one way or the other, and appears to be nearly asleep. Perhaps he had a big night. Or a big breakfast. It could be anything, couldn't it.

9 min: Vennegoor of Hesselink nearly turns on the edge of the six-yard area to get a shot in after good work down the right from Samaras, but can't quite dig the ball out from under his feet and the chance is gone. Then Darcheville tears up the left wing, making Caldwell look very leaden indeed, which is admittedly not particularly difficult; he wins a corner which is wasted. Then McGeady tears up the centre of the pitch and... well, this is breathless stuff, though nothing much is being achieved at present.

7 min: Nakamura tries to whip in a free kick from 30 yards but it's easily saved by McGregor. Have some respect, Shunsuke, this isn't Manchester United you're playing.

6 min: And down the other end that was half a chance for McCulloch, who heads a long Thomson hoof into the box just wide right of Boruc's goal. All of a sudden, this is good end-to-end stuff.

5 min: That's brilliant from McGeady, who wheechs past Broadfoot like he's not there and bends in a cross towards the near post towards Vennegoor of Hesselink, who beats Cuellar to the ball and sidefoots wide left of goal. That was half a chance.

4 min: Hartley charges down a Ferguson clearance and breaks clear into the box, but it's the most obvious handball in the history of All Football, and he's brought back. Not a great deal is happening as of yet.

2 min: All the action is down the same wing; first McGeady attempts to nip past Broadfoot, to no avail, then Darcheville nearly tears clear down the right but is undone by Naylor. A fast-paced start, we expected no less.

And, after the PA blasts out a delightful medley of tracks which may or may not have a political agenda, we're off! Celtic get the ball rolling, hoof it upfield with the least wit possible, and cede possession to Rangers. Who immediately return the compliment. Less than a minute gone here, and the only way is up.

On a hiding to nothing whatever he does: S Dougal (Scotland)

Gordon Strachan has dropped top scorer Scott McDonald again, a ploy which worked brilliantly in the Nou Camp, didn't it: Boruc, Hinkel, Caldwell, McManus, Naylor, Nakamura, Scott Brown, Hartley, McGeady, Vennegoor of Hesselink, Samaras. Subs: Mark Brown, Wilson, Sno, Donati, Robson, McDonald, O'Dea.

Oh look, Barry Ferguson, Allan McGregor, Christian Dailly and Lee McCulloch have all miraculously returned from injury after missing Scotland's game with Croatia midweek: McGregor, Broadfoot, Cuellar, Weir, Whittaker, Dailly, Thomson, Davis, Ferguson, McCulloch, Darcheville. Subs: Alexander, Boyd, Novo, Adam, Naismith, Furman, McMillan.

It will kick off at 12.33pm, approximately two-and-a-half minutes after the match starts.

It's the biggest derby in Scottish sport. Yes, Kingussie v Newtonmore is one hell of a shinty showdown. However their first match of the Marine Harvest Premier League season was postponed, and the return fixture at The More's Eilean Bheannchair isn't until May 31, so in lieu of hot stick action, this minor stramash will have to do.