ROWLANDS SHINES IN HER SON'S LOVINGLY FILMED `STARS' : THE FACTS.

Byline: Bob Strauss Daily News Film Critic

Loss can also be viewed as liberation. That's the overriding theme of Nick Cassavetes' filmmaking debut, ``Unhook the Stars,'' the other major point of which is that the director's mother, Gena Rowlands, is one terrific lady.

No argument there. A reliable actress for close to four decades and often an indelible one - especially in the raw, edgy films she made with her late husband, John Cassavetes - Rowlands more than deserves a loving celluloid tribute. And in the process of doing that, her son has also created a sweet, observant valentine to mothers of all stripes and proficiencies.

When we first encounter Rowlands' Mildred, she's working a paper route in a most eccentric manner: driving from house to house, getting out of the car each time to make sure that the newspaper is perfectly positioned on each lawn or porch, muttering to herself all the way.

From this, you naturally expect that Mildred is one of Rowlands' patented neurotics, a woman under the influence of irrational impulses. But it turns out she's just a lonely suburban widow, doing the job her irresponsible slacker daughter Ann Mary Margaret (Moira Kelly) was too zonked to get up for.

When the angry young woman moves out in a huff, Mildred is left truly alone. Sure, her go-getter son and his lovely wife genuinely care for her, but he's moving to a better job in San Francisco (though it's never specified, ``Unhook'' was filmed in Salt Lake City).

But just when Mildred has steeled herself to face elderly isolation with quiet grace, Monica comes crashing into her life. Played by Marisa Tomei on the knife edge of low-class caricature, Monica is an ignorant but energetic young woman who drinks too much and throws her tattooed husband Frankie (David Thornton) out the first time he gets physically abusive.

But this leaves Monica with no one to look after her young, introverted son J.J. (focused newcomer Jake Lloyd) while she's at work. Neighborly, motherly Mildred jumps at the chance. Of course, J.J. and Mildred bond like the dickens. And against all odds, the prim older woman and her hellbent young neighbor bridge their many differences to become fast friends.

Monica even introduces Mildred to a sweet-souled Canadian truck driver, Big Tommy (Gerard Depardieu, whose company helped produce the movie). Nothing physical comes of the patient moves he makes on Mildred, but his interest certainly does wonders for her self-esteem.

Which she's going to need once a repentant Frankie comes home. Now that J.J. has his father back, her nurturing nature is once again unnecessary. But in her low-intensity panic over the end of a lifetime spent giving to others, Mildred learns that it's time to start living herself.

There's a certain air of self-congratulation that pushes ``Unhook the Stars'' toward preciousness at times. But even though she's playing one of the most wonderful people in the universe, Rowlands never fails to find compelling subtleties and conflicts in Mildred's mild late-life crisis. It's a marvelously controlled portrayal, earthy and aching but also poised and proper at all times.

Tomei, on the other hand, drives earthy past the usual boundaries into the vicinity of dirty. Yet even though the actress seems to be striving for some floozy of the year prize, when Monica has to pop up with surprise sensible responses to stressful situations, Tomei efficiently tones down the circus act and nails the behavior cold. By the end, you've reassessed your initial opinion of Monica as the worst mother in Utah.

Cassavetes films it all in a straightforward, unemphatic manner that spotlights performance and character. ``Unhook the Stars'' is neither as demanding nor as rewarding as a John Cassavetes film, but the maverick master's son has inherited an admirable yen for emotional truth. That Nick Cassavetes seems to have a more forgiving take on human nature may be disappointing to some, but more are likely to find it a refreshing delight.

The film: ``Unhook the Stars'' (R; language, child in jeopardy, substance abuse).

The stars:Gena Rowlands, Marisa Tomei, Gerard Depardieu, Jake Lloyd, Moira Kelly.

Behind the scenes: Directed by Nick Cassavetes. Written by Cassavetes and Helen Caldwell. Produced by Rene Cleitman. Released by Miramax Films.

Running time: One hour, 45 minutes.

Playing: Goldwyn Pavilion, West L.A.

Our rating: Three Stars.