REVIEW; HERE IS A CLASS 'REUNION' BEST LEFT UNATTENDED.

Byline: Bob Strauss Film Critic

The best thing that can be said about ``The Reunion'' is that we already have a candidate for worst film of the new century!

A terrible, cheap piece of exploitation that compounds its immature drama and prurient intent with pretensions to psychological and social insights, the film could have been an enjoyably bad hoot if it didn't take itself so relentlessly seriously. Said discourse is idiot-level; the plot is one long, drooling tease; and, while terrible things are done to every character involved, the film takes particular glee in degrading women and a midget.

As for the taste lapse of staging a sadistic revenge fantasy in a high school, well, the one excuse is that the film appears to have been made pre-Columbine. It's supposed to unfold during the 18-year reunion of the class of '79, which would indicate that the movie has been sitting on a shelf somewhere for the past three years. You can only wish that that shelf had gotten more use.

We know from the start that Louis Witowsky (Timothy Devlin, who actually won an award from some film festival I've never heard of for his twitchy performance) is going to spoil the party because, like a psycho, he keeps retying his tie while dressing for the landmark event. Then again, that could just as easily have been the result of bad continuity, a distinct possibility with a production this awkward. Anyway, once the proud district sales manager fails to impress the jocks who long ago threw him out of the gym naked, he grabs a gun and holds them, their trophy wives, his own spouse, a security guard and the aforementioned midget in the locker room.

The big man with the gun proceeds to play humiliating games with his captives. To absolutely no one's surprise, he cracks the smug facades of his successful ex-classmates under the pressure. These lead to - oh, the significance! - important discussions about how money can't buy happiness. You get the distinct feeling, though, that all Louis (not to mention the filmmakers) really wants to do is project sexual fantasies onto the other guys' wives.

The locker room is pretty much the only set. The acting isn't exactly bad, but the demeaning behavior and ludicrous confessions the actors are saddled with don't make them look good. Plus, everybody's face has something silly drawn on it, which subtracts a certain gravity from their meaningful speeches.

``The Reunion'' was directed by Larry Eudene, who doesn't exactly have an eye for the cinematic possibilities of enclosed space, and written by co-producer Paul Corvino. Someone here was working some pretty alarming aggressive tendencies, which evidently haven't been resolved enough to rechannel into art.

But the good news is that the movies of the third millennium probably can't get any worse.

THE FACTS

--The film: ``The Reunion'' (not rated; violence, language, nudity, sex).

--The stars: Timothy Devlin, Jack Mulcahy, Mimi Langeland.

--Behind the scenes: Directed by Larry Eudene. Written by Paul Corvino. Produced by Corvino and Tischa Gomez. Released by Good Medicine Films.

--Running time: One hour, 25 minutes.

--Playing: Sunset 5, West Hollywood.

--Our rating: No stars

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Box: THE FACTS (see text)