RESOLVING TO ENJOY A FEW `BAD HABITS'.

Byline: SANDY SAND Local View

I am more resolute than ever to hold to my New Year's resolution of 2006. I resolve to avoid, whenever possible, scare-us-to-death, what's good/bad for you news stories.

The FDA is now telling us that over-the-counter painkillers containing aspirin, ibuprofen and other medicines are killing us with the same efficiency as certain prescription drugs which have recently been taken off the market.

We've become a nation of fear-mongers and fear-succumbers. There must be 10 stories a day telling us what will kill us if we don't do as they say. Most of those stories contradict yesterday's breaking news on the same subject, or contain messages that are so mixed, we don't have a clue which one to take seriously. Most of these stories also have a shelf-life of about 24 hours, but that's long enough to stick to the psyche of whomever saw them.

From the White House down, the fear-mongers are at work. There's a terrorist around every corner. We're afraid to fly, and we view our fellow passengers with the utmost suspicion. What's the color-coded federal alert level today, and just how seriously are we to take it?

One day it's drink coffee; the next it's don't. Have a baby; get uterine cancer. Don't have a baby, get breast cancer. Buckle up! Unless you're nine months pregnant ... or maybe you should; they can't make up their minds. Broccoli is good for you; broccoli will give you stomach cramps and gas, then you'll need anti-gas medicine, which may or may not be good for you.

Cigarettes are bad; nicotine makes you smarter and can possibly chase away Alzheimer's. Exercise, but be careful not to over-do, you could strain something.

There are good carbs and bad; good fats and bad. You practically need an advanced degree in chemistry to sort it all out. They removed whatever it was -- either coconut oil or lard -- from melt-in-your-mouth cookies, and they created bags of bland, unmelt-in-the-mouth cookies that are not worth the waste of calories.

So step up and pick your poison, folks. All these mixed messages. All the confusion. What to do? What to do? How about trying a little moderation?

Thank you very much. I'm no longer listening and I'm weary and leery of ``them'' trying to scare me to death before my years and years of bad, bad cigarettes, two to three extra-strength caplets a day, an occasional alcoholic beverage, no broccoli and no exercise do. If I drop dead tomorrow, I will know that I lived my life doing most things in moderation and thoroughly enjoyed all my ``bad habits.''

Now, if you'll excuse me, this has given me a headache, and I need to wash down my extra-strength caplet with a lite beer while relaxing with a cigarette.