RESIDENTS GAIN UPPER HAND ON FEAR.

Following the president's call for Americans to resume ``normal'' lives, Mercedes dealer John W. Stiegler Jr. made a vexing decision Monday concerning Old Glory.

In sympathy for thousands who perished during last week's terror, his AutoStiegler of Encino had flown the largest flag on Ventura Boulevard, the San Fernando Valley's largest commercial strip, at half staff.

Now, to signal America's resolve for victory over terrorism, his flag would stand tall.

``My gut feeling is that, now that the stock market has reopened, it's time to put the flag back up,'' Stiegler, general manager of his family franchise, announced.

``The president has asked us all to go on and lead our lives - doing anything other than that, we're playing right into their (terrorists') hands.''

Across the Valley on Monday, residents tried to gain the upper hand on fear.

Under warm skies they went to work. They flocked to the mall. They jammed Ventura Boulevard. They filled public parks. They played golf. They cheered their children.

Under threat of war, they won through work-a-day routine, through deliberate recreation, through intentional release of care.

``It's important for us to get back to normal as much as possible,'' said Gretchen Capers, 33, of Palmdale, on a midmorning work-break stroll with a friend in Woodland Hills. ``I refuse to live in fear.''

And they continued to fly their flags. Little ones from cars. Big ones from homes and businesses and flagpoles and bridges and public buildings across the land.

``God Bless America,'' proclaimed a carwash in Encino. ``You can attack America, you can never break our American spirit,'' read another homemade sign by Susan and Dayna, 12 years old, at a bank in Sherman Oaks.

While one Victory Boulevard church said ``Know God, no fear,'' another advertised religious ``revival.''

But ``normal?'' After terrorists sent airliners full of civilians into the Pentagon and World Trade Center on Tuesday - what could ever be quite the same? many residents asked.

``I can't say it's really back to normal,'' said Millie Lee of Tarzana. ``I'm still in shock about what happened, and I'm still sad. I know it's not done yet.''

Despite her doubts, Lee bucked up. After a five-city search for a car-door flag for her SUV, she was thrilled to score one Monday in Encino.

For Matt Small, 49, of Van Nuys, normal meant Rubin's Red Hot dogs with Nuria Villanueva, 3, in Sherman Oaks while her mother gave birth to little sister Annatalya.

For Joy Austin, 37, of Burbank, normal meant a ride for her 2-year-old son on the historic Loof Carousel at Media City Center Mall.

And for Dennis Hancock, 55, of Van Nuys, normal meant Monday rounds at the mall.

``Just do things,'' implored Hancock, his hat proclaiming ``I love America,'' his pack boasting a small American flag. ``If you change your lifestyle, then those guys have won.''

For Vincent Alcala, 23, of Arleta, who'd just left the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln for a pending life in law enforcement, normal meant a hard run Monday at Pedlow Field Skate Park in Reseda.

``I can see it already, people are trying to get back to their normal routine,'' he said, hopping aboard his Enjoi wheels. ``But right now I wouldn't mind it if they called me'' back to duty.

But for Brandon Marcaccio, 17, riding his bike through North Hollywood on Monday, normal meant the fear of getting drafted after his 18th birthday 10 days hence.

Monday found Kenny Goodlett, 55, finding some success panhandling on Ventura Boulevard in Sherman Oaks.

``My life is better now,'' he said. ``America sticks together better now. I'm homeless, I have two kids.

``I don't have anything, but I just think about the people who died, think about the people who didn't get up today. I'm proud to be an American.''

For many Valley residents, normal meant a return to the cash register. The Sherman Oaks Fashion Square, Northridge Fashion Center and The Oaks shopping center in Thousand Oaks all reported a spike in business as customers gained confidence and got on with life.

``On Saturday, we were packed, and people were buying,'' said Shana Yao, marketing director for the Fashion Square. ``A lot of the stores said they were so busy, their corporate offices questioned them what was up in the Valley.

``People really need to get out, and they're trying to move on, not in an insensitive way, but they need something to help them cope and return to some sort of normalcy - if that's even a word anymore.''

Joy Maximo, 30, from Manila, Philippines, noted that as a tourist, the shopping is comforting, but ``it's hard to return to normal because of the pain.''

Most residents agreed. It will take a long time for America to get back to normal as terrorists continue to dominate each day's headlines - and consciousness.

At AutoStiegler, where employees quickly rallied to donate blood last week, the talk Monday was how they could still pitch in by each buying one share of stock, any stock, ``as a sign of solidarity,'' Stiegler said.

What's important, he said, is sensitivity while we rally behind our commander in chief.

``When we serve people, we can ask ... Did you have people in New York who were affected? before we ask, Would you like to buy a car?''

DOORS OPEN FOR DAYS OF PRAYER

Following are services scheduled for today and the rest of the week:

TODAY

--An interfaith memorial service will be held at 8:45 a.m. at Poncitlan Square, Ninth Street East and Avenue Q-9, Palmdale. Call [phone].

--Ventura County will hold a memorial service at noon at the Government Center, 800 S. Victoria Ave., Ventura. Call [phone].

--The Valley Hindu Temple, 18700 Roscoe Blvd., Northridge, will hold a peace prayer service, 7 to 9 p.m. Call [phone].

--A candlelight vigil will be held at 7 p.m. at the Oviatt Library at California State University, Northridge.

--A candlelight vigil and fund-raiser will be held at 7:30 p.m. at the Boys & Girls Club of Simi Valley, 2850 Lemon Drive.

--A patriotic musical tribute will be held at 5:30 p.m. on the front steps of Burbank City Hall, 275 E. Olive Ave. The Burbank and Burroughs high school choirs will perform. The event will be televised live on Charter Cable Channel 6 in Burbank and Channel 16 in Glendale.

WEDNESDAY

--Malibu Stage Company Theatre, 29243 W. Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, will hold a vigil and a forum to share feelings of loss and patriotism at 7 p.m. Guests are asked to bring cameras, journals, tape recorders, candles and musical instruments to help memorialize the evening. The vigil-forum will also be held Thursday and Friday. Call [phone].

Daily News Staff Reporter Brent Hopkins contributed to this story.

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DOORS OPEN FOR DAYS OF PRAYER (see text)