REMEMBERING LOVE FAMILIES PAY HOLIDAY VISITS TO CEMETERY.

Byline: Lisa M. Sodders Staff Writer

MISSION HILLS - Christmas was Lucy Carbajal's favorite holiday.

So after she died in 1988, her seven children made sure she had a decorated Christmas tree on her grave at San Fernando Mission Cemetery in what has become an annual tradition for their family and others.

``Christmas was really special to her, because of the birth of Jesus. And when times were hard, she'd make sure we'd at least have a little (Christmas tree) branch or something, so we'd never go without,'' said Carbajal's daughter Lucy Aldez, 38, of Palmdale.

After Christmas, Carbajal's husband, Alfonso, 82, and his other daughter, Annie Carbajal, 40, will plant the tree in the back yard of their Pacoima home. The tree from that Christmas 15 years ago is now 20 feet tall.

``We don't want to forget her,'' said Aldez about her mother, who died shortly before Thanksgiving in '88. ``She was the glue, the one who kept us all together.''

Aldez is just one of many San Fernando Valley residents who adorn the graves of loved ones during the holiday season. The tradition is more common among Latino families, although many cultures take part. In fact, the ritual has become so popular that the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, which operates the San Fernando Mission Cemetery, has set up guidelines for decorations.

``The holiday season is a time for family, and it can be an especially hard time for those who have lost a loved one and don't have them around,'' said Carolina Guevara, an archdiocese spokeswoman.

``So they bring little symbols of the holiday season and share the moment with them, and we welcome them to do so. It's a wonderful tradition.''

Because the cemetery is visited by the elderly as well as children who like to run and play, the archdiocese prohibits the placement of decorative fences or glass, plastic or other breakable ornaments.

Anchoring spikes and standing decorations, such as Santa Clauses or snowmen, are also out, as are music boxes, Christmas lights or anything that requires batteries.

Popular and permitted decorations are potted Christmas trees up to 2 feet tall, Christmas trees and tree ornaments made of fabric, wood, rubber or paper. Decorations can remain through Jan. 7.

Arlene Inez, 53, and her husband, Daniel, 55, of Canyon Country carefully polished the gravestone of Arlene's mother, Lucy Bailey, who died in 1989. They also took the time to clean and decorate the stone next to it before they decorated both graves with colorful holiday cut-outs.

``I don't know who he was,'' Daniel Inez said, cleaning the headstone for Edward Jerry Maslowski. ``I do his, too, because nobody else does it, and he was in the Navy.''

With the help of a 4-year-old granddaughter, Sarah Dyer, Arlene Inez also put up plastic candy canes that dangled fat tamales - empty corn husks stuffed with paper - in memory of the hundreds of tamales her mother made at Christmastime.

Arlene Inez smiled. ``People will open them to see if they're real,'' she said before the family moved on to decorate other graves.

Among the most elaborately decorated graves are those of children, including babies who lived only weeks or days. These are outlined with garlands of tinsel and draped with drifts of white cotton batting to simulate snow.

Miniature Christmas trees, from traditional green to cotton-candy pink, are wrapped with beaded garlands and surrounded by stuffed animals, dolls and even miniature villages.

Alex Murillo, family services counselor at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Santa Clarita, estimated that one-third of the graves get some sort of holiday decoration at Christmas - usually a Christmas tree or a decorative gate at the grave and some ornaments.

At Eternal Valley, families may leave the decorations up until Jan. 5, and then the grounds crew removes them. It makes for extra work, ``but it's part of our job,'' Murillo said.

``It might make them feel like they still have that person with them,'' Murillo added.

Lisa M. Sodders, [phone]

lisa.sodders(at)dailynews.com

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3 photos

Photo:

(1 -- 2 -- color) Arlene Inez, right, gets help from her husband and grandchild in decorating her mother's grave and near it, above, at San Fernando Mission Cemetery. At left, others have decorated children's graves elaborately.

(3) Families place little trees, toys and other remembrances on children's graves at San Fernando Mission Cemetery.

David Sprague/Staff Photographer