REILLY'S PAYOFF FINALLY ARRIVES.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

MEDIA

Rick Reilly's life, it really ain't so bad.

The perennial national sportswriter of the year turned 50 a couple of months ago. But he did so while bouncing through Australia, New Zealand, Tahiti and South America in search of the world's dumbest sports, research material for a new book.

He recently bailed out on his back-page columnist job at Sports Illustrated after 23 years. But that was to take a new one at ESPN, where he'll make -- for real -- $17 million over the next five years, doing work in its magazine, Web site and hosting a TV show. And he still doesn't have to check in until June.

Then there was this movie script thing.

Seventeen years ago, he and SI reporter Duncan Brantley conspired to make a Hollywood story about pro football way before the NFL. They sold it to Universal. Then they pretty much gave up hope it would ever get made, until George Clooney found it, decided to star in it and direct it, added Renee Zellweger to the cast, and kept the name "Leatherheads," which hits theatres nationwide today.

So, what's so lousy about being Rick Reilly these days?

"You'd be surprised how boring it is being me," he said, waiting at LAX recently for a flight home to Colorado.

He tried to make his point by explaining what happened when he attended the "Leatherheads" premiere at the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood on Monday.

"I pull up in the limo, thousands of cameras are poised, I come out, and I hear this 'awww,' and every cameraman lowered his camera to his belt. In unison," Reilly continued, almost with a Dangerfield-esque sort of beat to his story.

"At one point, a guy calls out, 'Rick,' so I think, 'Hey, he knows me.' He says, 'Rick, can you move to the right?' They were trying to shoot Cindy Crawford."

Reilly actually was given a part in the movie. He was put in the press box as an extra during a scene with Zellweger.

"I was nervous, until I realized I was a sports writer, playing a sports writer, covering a game I already knew how it would turn out because I had written it, in a stadium I invented, and I still wasn't believable in the part," Reilly said. "And Clooney wanted me out of the shot."

His 20 seconds on the screen in "Leatherheads," however, is far better than his previous movie on-screen experience.

"I was in 'Invincible,' and I'm still getting $1.43 residual checks ... and that's even after they cut me out of the movie," he said. "I'm in the credits. People still come to me and say, 'You were great!' I'd say, 'Really, what did you think of the outfit I was wearing?' They'd say, 'Really good."'

As for the script that Reilly and Brantley wrote about a brash football hero named Dodge Connolly (Clooney), trying to recruit a World War I hero named Carter Rutherford (John Kraskinski) to play for his team, while cub newspaper reporter Lexie Littleton (Zellweger) tries to get to the bottom of the story, it wasn't exactly straight from their keyboards to the silver screen.

"The characters are named the same. The things generally happen the same," said Reilly. "But a lot of the dialogue was different. And there are some twists in the plot. But who cares? Whatever Clooney wants."

So when the movie comes out today, where will Reilly see it?

"My brother decided to throw a big party for the premiere," he said. "You think he'd rent out a theatre? No. I'll be standing in line, paying $9.50, at the Octoplex 24 in Louisville, Colorado.

"I always thought it would be more glamorous."

Poor, poor Rick Reilly.

CBS doesn't see UCLA as the main attraction

If UCLA's NCAA semifinal lunch date with Memphis on Saturday afternoon allows you to still enjoy an evening of family activity, thank CBS.

But if there was any question as to why the Bruins will play the earlier of the two tipoffs -- at precisely 3:07 p.m., rather than at about 5:45 p.m. for North Carolina-Kansas -- network president of news and sports Sean McManus offered up an honest explanation.

"We try to put the potentially blockbuster game late in the evening," he admitted.

Meaning, CBS ain't sold on the Bruins and Tigers clawing at each other as attracting as many eyeballs as will be there to witness the Tar Heels square dancing with the Jayhawks.

"It's not an exact science," McManus added.

He said the final call comes from him, senior VP of programming Mike Aresco and network sports executive producer Tony Petitti, weighing all kinds of factors. None of which, McManus said, having to do with the fact Roy Williams, North Carolina's coach, is going against his former team.

"The game we think has the broadest viewer appeal goes later (for prime-time viewing across the country)," said McManus. "Based on ratings strength, when North Carolina is in a national telecast, the ratings tend to be stronger. There's a slight edge with the appeal of North Carolina.

"It's no clear-cut or obvious decision. If we guess right, great. But if not, we look kind of stupid."

What's not stupid is that Billy Packer will be calling his 100th Final Four game when he and Jim Nantz sit courtside for the UCLA-Memphis contest. There were some stupid rumors coming from some Chicago sports-talk station that intimated this could be Packer's final Final Four after 34 seasons.

"When I do my last game, I'll do it the same way as my first -- I'll put a headset on, and take a headset off," he said. "It'll be when it is."

As for what's going to make the UCLA-Memphis matchup watchable for Middle America, Packer insists the only way the Bruins win is if their Shipp comes in.

"I hate to put the burden on one player, but Josh Shipp has to be the scorer that he's capable of being, and hasn't been in the last six weeks," said Packer. "I think Memphis can have a game when any one of their first six players can play poorly, maybe I won't say it that way, but they don't have to have a big standout game and still be successful."

CAPTION(S):

photo, 2 boxes

Photo:

Find Rick Reilly's script credit on the "Leatherheads" movie poster? It's there. In the finest of print.

Universal Pictures

Box:

(1) WHAT SMOKES

(2) WHAT CHOKES