REGGIE, REGGIE, REGGIE.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

Not that we don't trust a news source that insists on including an exclamation point at the end of its name, but are the yoo-hoos at Yahoo! really giving us everything they found in their eight-month Reggie Bush investigation?

If they had kept linking through their own world- famous search engine, would they eventually have discovered (as most of the rest of us know from our own Googling) that the former USC tailback appeared underaged in three of the ``Girls Gone Wild'' videos, has not apologized yet for calling Latino cheerleaders ``hot,'' has three stolen pandas from the San Diego Zoo tucked away in an E-Z-Stor warehouse, used a fake ID with the name ``Greg Brady'' to buy a six-pack of Old Milwaukee during a frat house initiation, had half of his winnings at the World Series of Poker frozen by court order, has distant ties to the Black Dahlia murder, is rumored to be the actual father of Brynn Cameron's baby, allowed Dwayne Jarrett to live in his parents' Spring Valley house, and plans to eventually explain it all on an upcoming episode of ``Larry King Live''?

Now that they have a chance to reflect on things, did the NCAA and USC officials really think there wouldn't be any potential problems when they OK'd Bush's internship with Mike Ornstein's sports marketing firm when he was a starving student?

And yet the NCAA was cool with Snoop Dogg showing up at USC's practices? And Nick Lachey on the sidelines?

Does all this mean the NCAA has finished its investigation as to whether Bush really did push Matt Leinart into the end zone at Notre Dame?

If Bush is stripped of his Heisman, and USC is stripped of any of its national titles, would the L.A. City Council consider an emergency measure to ban any form of stripping, lap dancing or topless bartending around the USC campus and thus freeze any sort of legal action?

If Bush's Heisman is somehow revoked, would Gino Torretta's logically be next?

So that's the best suit dirty money could buy for Reggie's stepdad at the Heisman ceremony?

Does O.J. have any advice on how to effectively stash the Heisman?

Now does it make sense that Pete Carroll held Bush out on that fourth-and-two play during the 2006 Rose Bowl?

Does this latest black eye for Bush come with a ``619'' inscription?

Will someone please pick up my cardinal-and-gold No. 5 jersey from the cleaners before someone confiscates it as evidence?

If the bottom line to any NCAA investigation is how much USC officials knew about all this Bush stuff, can they just play dumb, like, say, a Nebraska linebacker? 'Cause the ``N'' on the helmet still stands for ``knowledge,'' right?

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