RAISE 'EM RIGHT WITH CRASH COURSE IN CARE OF BABIES; SESSIONS HELP NEW PARENTS LEARN THE ROPES.

Byline: Carol Bidwell Daily News Staff Writer

Vacuum cleaners come with instructions. So do computers, new cookware, even rosebushes for your garden.

But when you become a parent, you're pretty much on your own.

Now, there are two parenting innovations: a program to teach parents of newborns what to expect and how to care for their offspring, and advice to help moms and dads of older children raise happier, healthier families with less stress.

NuParent, jointly sponsored by the Children's Bureau of Southern California, UCLA Children's Hospital and UCLA Child Care Services, is aimed at helping new parents feel comfortable raising babies and toddlers.

And the Center for the Improvement of Child Caring, which has offered parenting classes and related services to schools, churches, individuals and corporations since 1974, is reaching out to the general public for the first time with a booklet of general parenting tips.

Both programs are necessary, the sponsors say, because parenting skills are usually a matter of learning by doing, right or wrong.

Unlike past generations, today's new parents often have few resources to draw from to help care for the squalling, demanding little creature they bring home from the hospital, said Alex Morales, executive director of the Children's Bureau.

``More and more, people don't grow up around babies,'' he said. ``And we're not with our relatives. We don't have the support and guidance that our parents and grandparents did when they became parents for the first time.''

On the other hand, many parents may have relied on poor role models - their own equally uninformed mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers - for advice, said Bill Ernisse, chairman of the board of CICC.

``There are ways of learning to be better parents rather than trial and error or following what may not be the best role models,'' he said.

Because those role models are dear to our hearts, it may be hard to admit their way wasn't the best way to raise a child, said Kerby T. Alvy, the CICC's founder and director.

``What was good enough for grandpa was good enough for me,'' insist some modern-day parents. To them, Alvy asks two questions: ``Are you getting what you want out of your parenting? Are your kids turning out the way you want them to?''

Even well-educated parents can benefit from parenting classes, say experts.

Erica Sperling, a 911 operator for the Newport Beach Police Department with a degree in psychology and a teaching credential, was one of the first to sign up for a NuParent class after she realized she needed more help in dealing with 2-month-old Cherise, her first child.

``I was pretty isolated,'' Sperling said. ``And I was starting to pull my hair out. I read all the books, but one book said one thing and another said another thing, and I didn't know which was right. I didn't have the hands-on experience. I wanted to do what was best for her, but I was having trouble figuring out what was best.''

After eight weeks of NuParent classes, she's a more confident mother, and Cherise is a happier baby. And several of the mothers who attended the classes with her have formed a mobile support group: They get together at least once a week to walk with their babies and exchange experiences and information.

Besides the obvious benefits at home of being a better mom or dad, advantages of better parenting radiate into the workplace and the community, CICC officials said.

``Of 250,000 inmates in the county jail, a survey showed that 62 percent were not raised by a parent,'' said Ernisse. ``Conversely, good parenting results in better self-esteem, more high school graduates, more scholarship winners, better citizens.''

Ernisse, who is also a vice president and general manager for Xerox Corp., said CICC's corporate parenting classes create more loyal and less-stressed employees as their home lives become more productive and serene.

Companies that offer parenting classes see an average $1,600 in annual savings per employee in unused sick time, a reduction in on-the-job injuries and more employee focus on the job, Alvy said.

``It's such an intimate and important relationship,'' he said. ``People who would not admit problems in other areas will say, `I'd like to be the best parent I can be.' This is an important commitment. It's a good life decision.''

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2 Photos

Photo: (1) Five-week-old Eric Kessler and mom Alexandria share a calm moment during a NuParent class at Kaiser Permanente in West Los Angeles.

(2) Mothers find a combination of camaraderie and information in the NuParent classes.

Myung J. Chun/Daily News