RAIN GIVES STARS SOBERING SPLASH.

Byline: KEVIN MODESTI

PACIFIC PALISADES - Come one, come all to the 79th Nissan Open golf tournament. Which those with a sense of sports history still think of as the Los Angeles Open. Which really ought to be billed as the Umbrella Open.

You can't deny it, there's something perversely satisfying about the sight of the proverbial pampered professional athletes splashing around in the mud that has become a yearly feature of the PGA Tour's local event.

I mean, nothing places players and fans on the same social level like weather conditions that bust all of mankind back down to the primordial ooze.

``They do tend to take some things for granted in terms of weather and course conditions,'' Geoff Shackelford, a Riviera Country Club historian, said of the touring pros. ``It is kind of nice to see them challenged to adjust to the elements. But when it gets to the point you're just worried about keeping the bag and towel dry, it gets kind of ridiculous.''

Yeah, ridiculous.

As if it wouldn't have been fun to watch the pros try to play golf in Saturday morning's downpour, knowing that if a ball bounced into a bunker, they'd have to put on flippers and snorkels to get it out.

Instead play was called off before it began Saturday, leaving Chad Campbell in the lead at 9-under-par through 36 holes and the entire field with some catching-up to do as the tournament resumes (weather permitting) at 7:30 a.m. today.

Most years, I'd feel mean-spirited wishing soggy sweaters and runny noses upon these outstanding golfers who do, after all, have the pluck to perform in rain that would send baseball and tennis players fleeing to the comforts of the locker room.

But something happened this week that made me think that if what I'm feeling is a sports fan's class envy, it's justified.

On a table in the Nissan Open press tent appeared a stack of the ``Premiere Issue'' of a magazine called Golf Connoisseur.

There's already a magazine called OverTime, which calls itself ``the business and lifestyle guide for professional athletes.'' It's full of ads for such staples as private island resorts, luxury yachts and customized buses.

The publisher keeps sending me copies, perhaps realizing the only thing that has stopped me from purchasing a luxury yacht is the fear of having to ride to the marina in something less than my own customized bus.

A magazine geared to professional athletes seemed to represent the ultimate in niche marketing until Golf Connoisseur came along with a letter inserted.

``Dear Tour Player,'' it begins before offering a free subscription.

``You may have your agent subscribe for you if you like,'' it adds.

Advertisements in Golf Connoisseur include one suggesting, ``Own a second home of rare distinction in the Ritz-Carlton's first country-club community,'' one for charter jets, and various ones for fine wines, cigars and chronographs (what you and I call watches). There's something on where to get an at-home bowling alley (``Price begins at $1,450,000''). And the obligatory photo of polo ponies in action.

I've got a deal for Tiger Woods: He buys me the bowling alley, I pick up the cost of his Golf Connoisseur subscription (two years for $29.99).

Back to soggy Riviera.

By lunchtime Saturday the sun was out and the fairways and greens would have been in good enough shape to play as long as the worms cooperated. It was those bunkers, knee-deep in brown water, that were said to be the problem.

As if a PGA Tour pro with his own jet shouldn't be expected to carry a pair of hip boots in his bag.

A couple of players had already withdrawn from the tournament. In the press tent, the wise guys who post the scores wrote, ``Jonathan Kaye ... non-swimmer'' and ``John Riegger ... aqua-phobic.''

The 140 remaining golfers face prospects ranging from deciding the result based on 18-hole results to playing into Monday to get the tournament to 54 or 72 holes.

If the weather cuts the Nissan Open to less than 54 holes, the results won't be official, meaning the winner won't get credit in the record books.

What a relief to be told by PGA authorities that, no matter how short the Nissan ends up, the players will collect the $4.8 million in prize money.

CAPTION(S):

2 photos, box

Photo:

(1) Mike Weir walks under cover while his caddie, Brennan Little, trudges next to him through the rain during the second round of the Nissan Open.

(2) Luke Donald places his ball near the fourth green Saturday as he tries to stay dry under an umbrella.

Getty Images

Box:

SECOND ROUND SCORES