Quotes.

"The mere fact that the police dog had commenced the barking did not entitle it to a solo performance."

A line from an appeal that attorney Patrick McGee of Athens, Ohio, submitted on behalf of a client who was charged with unlawfully barking at a police dog. An Ohio appellate court dismissed the case, ruling that the man's behavior was protected by the First Amendment.

"I've been practicing criminal law for well over 20 years, and I've seen a lot of things."

Criminal defense attorney John Sickels, who--for the first time--saw a client "moon" a judge. Judge Jim Parsons of Palestine, Texas, had just sentenced Ray Mason to eight years in prison for aggravated assault when Mason dropped his drawers. The stunt garnered contempt-of-court charges and another six months in prison duds.

"We expect our receptionist to be able to handle more calls."

Allen Michel, managing partner of a law firm based in Marina del Ray, California, joking that changing the firm's name from Berger, Kahn, Shafton, Moss, Figler, Simon & Gladstone to just Berger Kahn will save the receptionist 10 syllables when she announces the firm's name.

"When she couldn't find her car, she knew she needed to make up a story fast."

Lieutenant John Pytlovany of the Scotia, New York, police department, explaining how officers nabbed a forgetful burglar. Melinda Kelly told police her car had been stolen from a convenience store parking lot with her infant son inside. Police found the car and infant 90 minutes later, three blocks away--where Kelly had left it idling while she burglarized her aunt and uncle's nearby home. Pytlovany said Kelly reported the car stolen because she forgot where she left it. She was booked for falsely reporting a crime giving a false written statement, burglary, and child endangerment.