Printer Friendly
The Free Library
14,588,739 articles and books
Member login
User name  
Password 
 
Join us Forgot password?

Putting the polite back in.


There is an old saying that goes "Manners are caught, not taught." If this is the case, then someone has dropped the ball. When Emily Post Noun 1. Emily Post - United States female author who wrote a book and a syndicated newspaper column on etiquette (1872-1960)
Emily Price Post, Post
 set forth the rules of etiquette in the 1955 edition of her book, it took 671 pages. Amy Vanderbilt needed 700 pages to outline "proper" conduct back in 1954 and 1956. Someone writing an etiquette book today could jot it down on one square of toilet paper.

Back when people minded their "p's and q's" the gentler sex was, well, gentle. Today girls lift weights, run marathons, know karate, and open their own doors. That leaves the guy holding the ... check--sometimes, but not always. In the resulting confusion, manners and grace have slipped by the wayside.

"Kids today really aren't learning respect and consideration for others," explains Alan Green Alan Green may refer to:
  • Alan Green (broadcaster) (born 1952), British sports commentator on BBC Radio Five Live
  • Alan Green (darts player), an English darts player
  • Alan Green (soccer), a former NASLer
, producer of an award-winning kid's video on etiquette. "It's a really simple concept, actually," Green notes. "If kids would learn to treat others with respect and consideration, make others feel good inside, the world would be a nicer place."

When you get right down to it, manners are a Christian basic. People are to treat each other with respect and dignity, motivated by love. Love for each other as well as love for Jesus.

And whose responsibility is it for teaching manners? "Parents" is the universal response.

Atlanta etiquette consultant Carolyn Frye and other experts believe that setting a good example is a parent's best defense against marginal manners. "On a scale of one to 10, I think today's society is hitting about a three in manners and social Style. And our children can't learn what we don't know Don't know (DK, DKed)

"Don't know the trade." A Street expression used whenever one party lacks knowledge of a trade or receives conflicting instructions from the other party.
," Frye said.

My own children, even though they did not grow up teething teething /teeth·ing/ (teth´ing) the entire process resulting in eruption of the teeth.

teeth·ing
n.
The eruption or cutting of the teeth.
 on etiquette books, are embarrassingly polite. Consider the following:

Joshua: I want some water.

Mother (me): Can you think of a better way to ask?

Joshua (thinking): Um, may I have some water, please?

Mother (beaming): Yes, you may. You certainly are polite.

Joshua (smugly smug  
adj. smug·ger, smug·gest
Exhibiting or feeling great or offensive satisfaction with oneself or with one's situation; self-righteously complacent:
): Ask me something else Ask me "Do you want to help me?"

Mother (obediently o·be·di·ent  
adj.
Dutifully complying with the commands, orders, or instructions of one in authority.



[Middle English, from Old French, from Latin oboedi
): Would you like to help me?

Joshua: No, thank you!

Which just goes to show you it is possible to get carried away with politeness.

How to Get the Ball Rolling

Teach by Example: "Do as I say, not as I do" doesn't cut it--not even with small children.

Take Control Early: If you take control in the early years, you will reap the benefits early on. It's much easier to help them set limits and prevent bad habits bad habit Unhealthy habit Clinical medicine A patterned behavior regarded as detrimental to physical or mental health, which is often linked to a lack of self-control. Cf Good habit.  than to correct them.

Give and Expect Respect: Create a respectful home by including "please" and "thank you" in your daily conversation. If your behavior lapses, apologize for it to your children and tell them to do the same.

Teach About Quiet Time: There are places where children are expected to be quiet. At church or large gatherings, where children are most likely to get restless, choose the front-row seats rather than the back ones. Knowing they can be seen may help them behave.

Curtail Rudeness: Set limits ahead of time and remind children of them. If you are talking on the phone, for example, stand up when you will not allow interruptions and sit down if you don't mind them.

When not writing for Vibrant Life, Celeste Celeste is a woman's first name. Celeste may also refer to:

in Music
  • Voix céleste, a Pipe Organ stop.
  • Celesta, a musical instrument
Other
  • Spanish/Portuguese for Sky Blue, Light Blue, Baby Blue
 perrino Walker is raising two polite children in Rutland, Vermont Rutland, Vermont may be:
  • Rutland (city), Vermont
  • Rutland (town), Vermont
also:
  • Rutland County, Vermont
  • West Rutland, Vermont
.
COPYRIGHT 1998 Review and Herald Publishing Association
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 1998, Gale Group. All rights reserved. Gale Group is a Thomson Corporation Company.

 Reader Opinion

Title:

Comment:



 

Article Details
Printer friendly Cite/link Email Feedback
Title Annotation:Times of Your Life
Author:Walker, Celeste perrino
Publication:Vibrant Life
Date:May 1, 1998
Words:563
Previous Article:Relieving stress - Hawaiian style.(Cover Story)
Next Article:Sugar shock: eight million Americans don't know they have diabetes.(Cover Story)
Topics:



Related Articles
What's In A Name?(natural childbirth terminology)
The Measure of a Man.(Review)
Worker Benefits to Be Delivered With a 'Polite Push'.(online benefits administration)(Brief Article)
PARACLETE PERFECTION MATH SCORE SURPRISES STUDENT.(News)
GOO-ING, GONE; REMNANTS OF ROCK BAND'S ACT PACK IT IN.(NEWS)
CIVILITY A PLUS IN WORKPLACE\Politeness can help employees win promotion.(BUSINESS)
LONGEVITY RARE FOR A FAMILY BUSINESS.(News)
Stereotype.(Poetry)(Poem)
Totally Jim.(First person)
The Pussycat of Prizefighting: Tiger Flowers and the Politics of Black Celebrity.(Book Review)

Terms of use | Copyright © 2009 Farlex, Inc. | Feedback | For webmasters | Submit articles