Promoting nonviolent communication: staff training exercises.

Objective: This exercise, and others, may result in a more compassionate, empathetic, and kindhearted environment at camp through the use of language that is nonviolent.

Staff may become:

* Aware of the impact of violent language of self and others

* Conscious of language currently used in the camp environment

* Motivated to replace violent sounding words and phrases with compassionate language

* Prompted to transfer their language skills to life outside of camp

Year-Round Staff Exercise--Part One

Begin at the Top

As Mahatma Gandhi said, "You must be the change you wish to see."

1. At a midwinter staff meeting, read the article above with year-round staff and invite them to participate in an experiment for a week.

2. Have copies of your camp's mission, vision, and/or values handy.

3. Determine if using violent language violates the meaning of any stated or inferred camp purpose. The mismatch won't be directly written (such as "speak language of compassion only"), so determine if "well-being, emotional safety, self-esteem, friendship," or other camp ideals could be impaired by violent language.

Note: Get Buy-In!

Looking first at the foundation for camp operation may be a helpful step in creating "buy-in" for skeptics or for those for whom change is unwelcome. The idea is to work first with administrative staff, so they are willing and able to champion the same process during staff training.

4. Ask staff members (in small groups of four or five if you have that many) to create a list of violent words and phrases.

5. Then, together, combine all lists into one master list of words and phrases, and post it where it will be seen daily. Large organizations may post several lists to include everyone in different locations.

Make Webster Proud!

6. Throughout the week, strive to make the list as long as possible.

7. For every new word or phrase with a violent connotation added to the list, administration adds a token of value (ice cream coupon, dollar, camp store goodie) to the "staff bank."

8. For every violent word on the list spoken by any staff member, one token is subtracted, and a hash mark added beside the offending word on the master list.

9. At the end of the week, the remaining tokens are distributed for the benefit of all ... staff's choice.

10. Then make the opportunity to look at the list, find the words most often used, and create new words or phrases to replace them. It is important to add new words when eliminating others.

Note: Even if staff members don't add hash marks regularly, they become more aware of their language and the impact it may have on others. And hash marks heighten awareness of words that may exist unconsciously in the camp culture ... you may have a contest to rename your camp toilets, or to rename traditional play day games such as "Mud Maul" or the jump into the lake from the cliff called "Suicide Leap."

Summer Staff Training Exercise--Part Two

With year-round staff in the lead and ready to share their own learnings and changed vocabulary, devote twenty minutes, early in staff training, when everyone is present. Read this article or tell personal stories about the negative impact of using violent language. Invite staff members, in small groups, to create their own lists and follow the same process of adding and subtracting tokens and making hash marks on the big list.

More Is Better

Some groups in staff training may be motivated to add ethnic slurs, cultural insults, and other words or names with potentially violent or hurtful connotations. To create more words, while generating personal empathy, ask staff to recall a name they may have been called growing up, that they resented, or that hurt their feelings. Members of one gender may be surprised at the high number of negative words that feel wounding to the opposite gender.

Some staff members may joke or make fun of the path toward compassionate language, and as they feel awkward or self-conscious, they are still paying attention and learning despite their resistance. Remember what Rumi said ... and meet them in the field, beyond right and wrong, offer no judgment or assessment, only compassion.

Faith Evans, M.Ed., owner of PlayFully, Inc., specializes in experiential learning. She is a staff trainer, author, and presenter whose professional camp history spans forty-five years. She can be reached at [e-mail].

Sample List It's to die for You're busted! Take a shot at this You run (hit, catch, throw) like a girl! Take a stab at this Take a stab at this You kill me Girly, Sissy, Pansy It just hit me Don't be such a baby Killer ap (software application) I just got triggered Die laughing That slays me

By Faith Evans, M.Ed.