Poison pal control center: how to part ways with friends who are bad for you. (Friends).

Even the best of friends screws up on occasion. She borrows your jeans without asking. She might blab a secret...or say something to embarrass you in front of the whole crew. And while, at times, you'd like to shred her favorite poster with a fork, you know your bud isn't flawless. Friends mess up.

But there is another kind of "friend"--one who causes you to question your worth, or often leaves you feeling upset or bummed. If you have a bud who sucks the fun out of almost anything or just makes you feel icky, she is what we call a toxic friend.

Jada, 14, has a toxic friend who constantly hurts her feelings. "Maggie always insults me. Like, she'll see my new 'do, roll her eyes, and say, 'Nice fizz,' in this sarcastic tone. When I look upset, she says, 'Jeez, I'm only kidding!'

"But then I feel like my hair looks bad. Twice, I've asked her to stop making these mean jokes, but she won't."

While Jada appreciates Maggie's sense of humor when it's not at her (or anyone else's) expense, Jada has come to realize that the negatives of the friendship far outweigh the positives. Jada claims, "Simply put, I don't want to be friends with her anymore. And, well, the beginning of the school year is a good time for making changes."

Still, Jada says, "I'm nervous about ending the friendship. What if Maggie freaks? What if I get too scared to say what I want to say?" Many girls, like Jada, feel intimidated to make the split. And while any breakup is hard, you can make it less stressful:

STEP 1: Figure out what's wrong.

What, specifically, bugs you about your friend? Is her behavior malicious or just annoying (there's a huge cliff between spreading lies and, say, snoring at sleep-overs)? Does your friend have wonderful qualities to balance the bad ones? Have you told her what is bothering you and asked her to change?

Before tossing a relationship, it's often worth trying to set things straight. And even if you ultimately decide the friendship can't be salvaged, you will have clearly thought through the situation. This will make the next step that much easier....

STEP 2: Say sayonara. It's time to part ways? Offer a short and simple explanation, and then state that you want to end the friendship: "I've asked you to stop saying mean things to me. It makes me feel terrible. I'm sorry, but I don't want to be friends anymore." Be clear and calm, and don't verbally attack, which could cause things to spiral out of control and leave you feeling even worse.

STEP 3: Expect the worst. Even if you say your piece kindly and rationally, do not expect your friend to take it well. Nobody likes rejection, and your friend is no different. She'll likely defend her actions. If you think deep down she might have a valid point (maybe you did jump to a wrong conclusion or misjudge her), you might say, "Let me think about it, and let's talk again tomorrow when we've calmed down."

You might decide your friend deserves another chance after all, and maybe this is the wakeup call she needs to turn things around. You're allowed to change your mind...or stick with your original plan. But in the end, you have to do what you feel is best for you.

STEP 4: Allow yourself to grieve. If you do end the friendship, you might feel a ton of emotions after your talk. Many girls feel a mixture of relief and also guilt, sadness or anxiety. This is normal. It shows you're a caring person who doesn't like hurting others. And even though she wasn't an ideal bud, you might even miss the good parts of her.

So allow time to mourn the loss of this relationship. Talk to a parent or other buds about it--without badmouthing your ex-friend. And give yourself a big pat on the back. It's not easy to get rid of toxic buds, but know that you did what's best for No. 1--you!