Planned Breech Homebirth.

In April of 1995 I lived in Homer, Alaska with my partner, Mac. We decided it was time to conceive another child. Our first child, Alexia, was one and a half years old and very beautiful. I felt like I already knew the child I would be carrying within. I knew he would be a boy and his birth experience would be very big for us.

His conception was the most spiritually high experience in my life. At six weeks pregnant, he told me his name was Leo Hawk.

In June we left our house to live near the woods in a tipi. It was an incredibly rainy summer that made living outside a bit challenging. Between bear, moose and mosquito visits we made plans to relocate in the lower states.

In August we left Alaska. I was four months pregnant and feeling great. A little bulge in my belly started to appear. I felt this was one of my favorite parts of pregnancy.

After traveling a while we stopped in Taos, New Mexico and decided to stay. We felt the mountains and hot springs were very divine.

When I was five months pregnant I started to look for a midwife. In Alaska, I had birthed Alexia at home assisted by a midwife. My labor was four hours and very incredible. I loved how my body worked to birth her. I knew with this baby I wanted a home birth also.

I was wonderfully surprised to find the Northern New Mexico Midwifery Center here in Taos. I felt a warmth at the Center that I usually don't experience at clinics or hospitals. In past experiences with pregnancies I was used to defending my decisions. Here I left feeling supported and looking forward to more visits.

As my pregnancy progressed I sensed that the birth might turn out differently than I planned. I talked to Mac several times about him being the only person at the birth. I only understood later what that meant.

At seven months I was told the position of the baby was breech, but it was early and he could turn. I felt a bit concerned about this news, yet felt sure everything would happen the way it needed to. By the eighth month the baby was still breech. I decided it was time to help this baby turn. I read everything I could find on turning a baby -- Mac and I tried it all. I elevated my lower body three times a day for 20 minutes; I had Mac hold me upside down; I went to the swimming pool and did head stands; I had Mac hold a moxa stick by an acupressure point on my little toe for 30 minutes a day. I felt these methods to be unintrusive to the baby. But this encouragement didn't turn him.

At nine months I found myself a bit tense that he hadn't turned head down. I tried to find some meaning to it, but couldn't. All I could do was go with what was meant to be and start looking at breech birth options. I had an ultrasound to make sure there wasn't anything physical keeping him from turning, and it showed he had a clear path.

I decided I wanted to have him vaginally. This turned out to be a challenging choice. In New Mexico it's illegal for a midwife to deliver a breech presentation unless it is a surprise and delivery is imminent. At the hospital in Taos all breech presentations are delivered by cesarean section with full anesthetic. We also looked into the option of driving out of town to try an external version, which would have entailed my receiving a muscle relaxant, then having the baby forced from the outside to turn. Besides lacking reliable transportation, this option didn't feel right. I knew in my heart that Mac and I would be delivering this baby alone, but the reality of the situation didn't manifest until later.

Two weeks before my due date at a prenatal visit, I had the pleasure of meeting Elizabeth Gilmore, the founder of the Midwifery Center. She asked me what I wanted to do since the baby hadn't turned. I felt unsure as I heard myself confidently say, "I want to have him at home." I felt myself reeling with excitement when she told me she supported my decision, but that none of the midwives could come to the birth. Now it felt official, and Mac and I started doing our homework on how to deliver a breech baby.

Nine days past my due date I woke up knowing the baby was coming soon, even though I felt no clear physical signs of labor. I told my roommates to get a hotel room until the next day and I drank Blue Cohosh tea all day. Mac and I felt prepared: we had an oxygen tank and a fetosope from the Center. We had all the basic homebirth supplies and emergency numbers posted. The anticipation of not knowing how this birth would turn out became overwhelming at times; I rode through those moments like one would ride through a contraction. It helped me prepare for the intensity of birth.

At 5:00 pm the same day I started feeling really high, colors looked brighter, my world seemed vivid, and all edges presented themselves to me with clarity. At 6:00 pm I called our friend Shelli to come be with Alexia; I had told Shelli the baby was breech and we might need her assistance. As an aspiring midwife, it was a great opportunity for her. As a person experiencing birth for the first time, I think she felt scared and nervous.

At 7:00 pm Alexia was put to bed and the contractions were timed at seven to ten minutes apart. I called Carla Poindexter, a midwife at the Center, and told her that labor was starting. She said she would stop by after her movie, to check the baby and me, but would have to leave immediately after that.

Shortly after that phone call I found myself having to concentrate more and more on each contraction. Between contractions Shelli, Mac and I would joke and laugh. It all seemed fun and light. When my water broke it felt great.

Soon after, my contractions became very intense, the moments of rest became shorter as the contractions stacked on top of each other. I worked on keeping my body upright to speed the labor -- timing seemed crucial for this birth, not too fast, not too slow. I monitored my progress by how I felt and what my body did. When I threw up I knew I was in transition. A while later I told Mac, "I can't do this, make it stop, oh shit." With that statement I knew the baby was coming soon.

At 9:30 pm Carla and Tanja, a student, arrived. We were very happy to see them. Carla checked my dilation and I was at 8 cm. The baby's heart rate was fine. She said to call as soon as the baby was born and that it might be a couple more hours. I was feeling a strong urge to push.

I knew had to wait until I was fully dilated to push, and short breaths helped me not to push. But soon my whole body took over and that was all I could do.

With one contraction I could push three or four times. When his butt showed there was much excitement in the room. With the next contraction his legs and torso came down. Shelli noticed one arm was above his head, so she reached up and swooped it down. With the next contraction Mac supported the baby's body and gave it a slight twist and the baby came out.

At 10:04 pm Leo Hawk was born. I had birthed him on my knees leaning against the bed. I turned to see him lying on the floor quietly, and the three of us rubbed him gently. He squirmed and opened his eyes.

We all felt so incredibly wonderful at what we had accomplished. It seemed as if we made the impossible possible. A few minutes later my placenta came out. We called Carla and Tanja; they hadn't even made it home yet.

When they arrived they checked the baby and me. Everything was fine; Leo did require some oxygen because of the fluid in his lungs. Within a short amount of time his lungs cleared up and his color became brighter. He weighed 8 lb 1 oz and his head was 15 inches in diameter. When checked for tears I had a small one that didn't require stitches.

I was amazed at how full of energy I felt; I knew I had really taken charge of my birth experience. I believe the success of this birth happened because I stayed wide open on all levels of my being, and with the help of Leo I found what it feels like to follow my heart.

[Editor's Note: Zoey Helenske is a reader from Taos, NM. We at ALACE wish to congratulate Zoey and her family on their successful homebirth. But we also want to make it clear that in publishing her birth story we do not intend to promote unassisted childbirth. We are working to increase options in maternity care so that this family would not be faced with such a narrow and hard range of choices about how to birth their breech baby.]