Philanthropists Say Having So Much Cash Has Pitfalls.

MORE than 200 powerful corporate executives, entrepreneurs, fund-raisers and financial advisers recently gathered at Simmons College in Boston for an eye-opening, day-long conference focusing on women and philanthropy.

While most Americans worry about not having enough money, the panelists and participants revealed that having too much money brings its own set of concerns, including when to tell your children that you are very rich.

(The experts here advised telling them when they are old enough to participate in the decision-making process for your family's charitable contributions).

The speakers all said they devote a lot of time to deciding where to donate money, as well as to doing volunteer work.

"I consider myself an agent for change," said Bonnie McElveen-Hunter, president and chief executive of Pace Communications Inc. in Greensboro, N.C. The privately held custom publishing company, with 200 employees, publishes airline and other specialty magazines.

McElveen-Hunter, who served as finance chair for Elizabeth Dole's short-lived presidential campaign, said she pledges 15 percent of her company's profits to charity.

She also helps raise money for Habitat for Humanity, and coordinates high-level fund-raising efforts for the United Way in her area "My giving is based on a biblical imperative," she said, adding that her mother always asked, "Have you ever seen a hearse with a U-Haul behind it?"

She and other speakers said women with money are besieged with requests for donations. "I have a pillow in my office that says, 'A fool and her money are soon invited everywhere,'" McElveen-Hunter said.

Although many speakers wove humor into their lively presentations, it was clear that they are dead serious about being rich and influential. Many are members of the Committee of 200, a prestigious national membership organization that requires members to own companies with annual revenues in excess of $15 million, or man age divisions of U.S. corporations that generate at least $100 million a year.

The conference kicked off with a survey of Committee of 200 members sponsored by Merrill Lynch and conducted by the National Foundation for Women Business Owners, the research arm of the National Association of Women Business Owners.

The survey revealed that 74 percent of the women polled created their wealth on their own, and 84 percent make philanthropic decisions, independently, even if they are married.

"These women of achievement are generous," said Lois Haber, NFWBO chair. "Over half of those surveyed donated $25,000 or more annually to charitable organizations; 19 percent donate $100,000 or more."

More than half (56 percent) said they support education-related groups. Forty-two percent support women-related groups, and 41 percent support the arts. Most members of the Committee of 200 prefer to give anonymously; 40 percent said they prefer not to be recognized for a major contribution, while 19 percent said they prefer being listed along with other contributors.

In addition to writing big checks, all the women emphasized the importance of volunteering their time to the groups they support. Keynote speaker Pamela Trefler, a former investment banker, spends her time teaching English in the inner-city Boston high school supported by her family foundation. She and her husband, who don't have any children, set up the foundation about four years ago after his software company went public. They've donated $1 million to the school so far.

All the speakers emphasized how much time they spend trying to make wise philanthropic decisions. They also spoke about how philanthropy influences their lives.

"I believe you have to earn your rent on this planet. For me, philanthropy is not an option, it's a necessity," said Lyda Hill, a well-known Dallas real estate developer and philanthropist who often helps out with the local Meals on Wheels program.

Hill was the force behind renovating the Fort Worth Stockyards. She also donated money to build a for-profit visitor's center to support the Garden of the Gods State Park near Pikes Peak in Colorado. Profits from goods sold to visitors support park operations, she said.

She also joked that, "I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth -- I had an entire place setting for 10."

Hill, who had to overcome some local opposition to her efforts to improve the park, said many philanthropists find that "critics are very noisy, while supporters are quiet."

Longtime San Diego activist and philanthropist Deborah Szekely said, "Giving should be filled with mischief."

She's founder and chair of Eureka Communities, a group that provides leadership training to non-profit executives. Szekely, who also founded the deluxe Golden Door and Rancho La Puerta health spas, has been active in San Diego charitable, theater and educational organizations for the past 50 years. She said she insisted her children volunteer their time when they were younger, and now, "my kids are good givers."

Barbara Lee, founder of the Barbara Lee Family Foundation, said many school administrators have asked her to build new gymnasiums, but she prefers to fund internships and more creative enrichment programs. She recently funded a program to bring jazz musicians to a Boston private school.

Other participants said they, too, prefer to fund scholarships for women and minority students, rather than build new campus buildings.

"Men have always used philanthropy for business purposes, but women aren't used to doing it," said Harriet Mouchly-Weiss, managing partner of the Strategy XXI Group, a New York City-based strategic communications firm.

"A man will also ask his secretary to call his friends to attend a charitable event," said Mouchly-Weiss in an interview. "While women will have to work the phones and plan the event."

She summed up the general feeling at the meeting by saying: "All of us who are successful have an obligation to bring others along with us."

Sondra Shaw-Hardy, co-founder of the Women's Philanthropy Institute in Madison, Wis., offered these tips for donating your money and time:

* Create philanthropy in response to a need.

* Change things with your time and money.

* Connect with the people you help.

* Collaborate with others to achieve more.

* Celebrate, because "it's great fun to give money away."

Jane Applegate is the author of "201 Great Ideas for Your Small Business," and is founder of ApplegateWay.com, a multimedia Web site.