Patriot Act for pranksters?

John W. Pompeii, a 16-year-old student at upstate New York's Colonie Central High School, had a stupid idea: he was going to rig up a dummy bomb and hide it in a school restroom. Not only was Pompeii stupid enough to follow through on his stupid idea, his stupidity was sufficient to inspire him to talk about his plan with other students.

There should be a price to pay for criminal stupidity. In Pompeii's case, precipitating a school crisis involving a bomb disposal unit has led to felony charges, including reckless endangerment and illegal possession of "noxious material." However, the charges will not likely end there. As Colonie Police Chief Steven Heider told the local press, Pompeii's prank is actually covered by the federal Patriot Act.

"You have to understand, with school safety and the school setting, this actually falls under the Patriot Act," stated Heider. "We'll be looking at federal charges, in addition to state and local charges.... This is a very serious, unforgiving act by someone who was hell bent, obviously, on obstructing the school process." Ap parently, obstruction of the "school process" is now an apocalyptic crime rivaling al-Qaeda's depredations.

Pompeii was not the first prankster to be targeted in the war on terrorism: that distinction goes to 38-year-old New Jersey resident David Banach, who faces up to 25 years in prison and a $500,000 fine for "disrupting the operator of a mass transportation vehicle"--specifically, shining a green laser (used in his job working with fiber optics) at a jet plane and a helicopter as they flew over his home.

Banach insists that he was playing with his daughter, rather than conducting a terrorist operation. But the scalp-hungry Justice Department--which has yet to notch a legitimate legal victory against an authentic terrorist group--insists that bringing Banach to book was an historic triumph. "We are not saying this is a grand terrorist incident," U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie told the New York Post after Banach's indictment. "We have to send a clear message to the public--no matter what the intent was."

The "clear message" the public should receive is that the federal government stands ready to exploit random acts of personal stupidity as precedents for turning its bloated "anti-terrorism" powers against the American public.