Pass the faith, please: a diet high in faith is good for the souls of both children and parents, finds a special online survey of readers of U.S. Catholic and our family newsletter, At Home with Our Faith.

On Palm Sunday 2007 Father Joseph Kraker poured water over the head of a baby boy in St. Vincent's Church in Akron, Ohio. "I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," he said, grinning as the baby sent forth a mighty howl.

Fast forward to 2022. The Akron baby is now 15. After all his Catholic schooling or weekly religious education classes, all those years of grace before meals and Sunday Mass, the young lad in question may be thinking of joining the seminary or may be about to try out some Buddhist meditation practices--who knows? But one thing is likely: His parents will find that their own faith has been strengthened and deepened by the very process of handing on the Catholic faith to their child. Educating one's kids in the faith, it turns out, is probably the very best adult faith education going these days.

That's one of the findings of U.S. CATHOLIC'S recent online survey of readers of this magazine along with those of At Home with Our Faith, Claretian Publications' newsletter for Catholic parents, as well as readers of its e-mail meditation for parents, Weekly Wisdom. The 249 respondents consistently reported that their own faith had grown stronger and deeper through the process of raising their children in the faith.

"It has made me more spiritual--it has made me pay closer attention to how I live. I want to practice what I preach, and there is less room to be lazy about it," writes Jennifer Pfaffl of Greenville, South Carolina. Another reader writes of uncovering "areas where my theology is still stuck in what I was taught in grade school, and I've sought out the more complex answers that make sense to me as an adult."

"I often wish I could go back and do it over again with my kids now that I know more about the Catholic faith," writes a Minnesota mother.

"The change agent is being changed in the process," says James Davidson, professor of sociology at Purdue University and co-author of American Catholics Today: New Realities of Their Faith and Their Church (Rowman & Littlefield), who examined the (admittedly unscientific) survey results. "Sometimes you may not know if the kids are getting it, but even if the kids don't, the parents seem to benefit. By engaging the next generation, you're strengthening your own faith."

CATHERINE O'CONNELL-CAHILL is senior editor of U.S. CATHOLIC and managing editor of At Home with Our Faith, (homefaith.com).

Be prepared

Bear in mind that the respondents to the survey do not necessarily reflect the average American Catholic parent: Along with being disproportionately female, their reading of U.S. CATHOLIC or At Home with Our Faith signals that they are likely more active Catholics. Given those facts, perhaps it is no surprise that 74 percent feel "confident and well prepared for the job of passing on the faith" to their children.

That doesn't necessarily mean, however, that they feel prepared on every topic. When asked to name the religious issue or question they feel most unprepared to talk about with their kids, some did answer stoutly, "None!" Many parents, though, confessed to being stumped on a variety of topics. Frequently mentioned were the recent sex-abuse crisis as well as church teaching on sexuality, including homosexuality, abortion, birth control, and divorce.

"We have many gay friends and are used to having an open, accepting attitude in our home. It is hard to reconcile our stance ... with the sometimes harsh language about homosexuality in the Catholic media and hierarchy," says Carolyn Matthews of Arnold, Maryland.

"I was married before," says one Florida mother. "My husband abandoned me and never returned. I am remarried and we have two children. I cannot receive Communion because I haven't had an annulment, which I find ridiculous."

Another difficult topic was why God permits evil: "My 15-year-old has a hard time believing in a kind, loving, and merciful God when his 6-year-old brother has cancer," writes Angle Dianetti of Stow, Ohio. "He cites biblical references of deaths of innocent babies as proof that the opposite is true."

When asked what was the most important thing they wanted to pass on to their child about the Catholic faith, over and over again readers wrote variations on the idea that "God loves and forgives" and "God is always there for us."

"Pre-Vatican II Catholics were raised to believe that God judges you," says Davidson, "that you ought to be afraid of God. This changing image of God is something that amazes me--we've done a 180 on who God is." He also points out that responses to this question mentioned the faith, but seldom the church itself. "Maybe they're assuming the church itself will be passed on, but I wouldn't. If what you pass on is that God loves you, that doesn't differentiate you from a Baptist or a Methodist or anyone else."

It takes a church

Those in church circles spend a fair amount of time these days bemoaning the failures of religious education in recent decades and the rise of religious illiteracy among Catholic adults. When asked about their own religious education from childhood through young adulthood, however, these readers by and large tell a different story. Forty-five percent said their own religious education was either good or outstanding, and another quarter said it was adequate. Only 16 percent said their religious education had been "poor."

These numbers did tend to differ, however, depending on age: Readers with children 19 or older were more likely to say that their own religious education had been outstanding or good (61 percent). This number drops to 51 percent among parents of children 11 to 18, and to 36 percent among those with children younger than 10.

Respondents tend to be an active bunch in terms of their faith life: More than 80 percent reported attending Sunday Mass as a family, observing Lent and Advent in the home, and discussing moral issues and news stories in the light of faith with their kids.

When they need help handing on the faith, more than half turn to Catholic books, a spouse, or a friend for support. More than 40 percent consult the Internet, Catholic periodicals, and the priest or staff at their parish. "They're using their closest relationships along with some mixture of experts," which indicates that handing on the faith is not a private affair, says Davidson.

Parishes may want to think about how they present the process of handing on the faith, he says. "Rather than isolating parents--telling them 'It's all about you and your kid'--we could say, 'There's a whole community of people involved in this and you can use them: the parish community, the priest, your spouse, your friends, your parents.'"

Catholic schools fared somewhat better than religious education classes in terms of how many parents were satisfied with the quality of their children's religious education. These parents also tended to see the parish as a resource, a backup: "Let the parents be the primary educators. Offer programs but allow the parents to determine faith readiness," says dad Bernie Tomasso of Port Byron, New York.

Many called for intergenerational groups and especially for a welcoming attitude. "Be loving and welcoming. Break down barriers of exclusion and personal piety that demean others," says Paula Kampf of Cleveland.

Living the faith

As for what parents saw as their kids' best experiences of faith so far, three answers emerged from the pack: First Communion, service activities such as working in a soup kitchen or building houses for the poor, and events involving family. These experiences of faith can be both deeply personal and communal, and both joyful and sorrowful.

For Nancy Harvey's children in Green Cove Springs, Florida, "the best experience of faith has been their father entering the Catholic faith."

Sally Morris of Ridgewood, New Jersey recalls the experience of her community after September 11, 2001. "We lost 11 dads, many friends' fathers. Our community handled it beautifully, centered around our church." Hers is an understated comment on how family, parish, and God can be there in the worst of times.

AND THE
SURVEY SAYS ...

1. In general I feel confident and
well prepared for the job of passing
on the faith to my children.

Agree        74%
Disagree     12%
Other        14%

2. My family regularly: (may select
more than one)

89% Attends Sunday Mass.

88% Observes church seasons
    together or individually.

80% Discusses personal lives,
    news, and moral issues in
    the light of faith.

79% Prays before meals.

61% Does works of mercy outside
    the home.

55% Prays before bed.

53% Spends time with other
    families in the parish out,
    side of Mass.

50% Reads and talks about
    saints and modern heroes
    of the faith.

40% Prays together at other
    times.

36% Reads Bible stories.

3. I let my child decide whether or
not to go to Mass and take part
in other family religious
experiences at age:

38% Not while they are living
    under my roof.

25% 19 or older.

18% 16 to 18.

 5% 13 to 15.

 2% 12 and under.

12% Other.

4. My child attends Catholic school,
and in terms of the quality of
religious instruction, I am:

Satisfied       66%
Dissatisfied    11%
Unsure          23%

5. My child attends parish religious
education classes, and in terms
of the quality of religious
instruction, I am:

Satisfied       58%
Dissatisfied    19%
Unsure          23%

6. My own religious education as a
young person was:

15% Outstanding.

29% Good.

27% Adequate.

16% Poor.

 2% Non-existent.

11% I joined the church as an
adult.

7. Compared to my parents' ability
to pass on the faith to me, I feel:

62% More prepared.

25% About the same.

13% Less prepared.

These results are based on survey
responses from 249 U.S. CATHOLIC and
At Home with Our Faith readers and
Website visitors.