Parents learn perils of kids' Internet use.

Byline: Jim Feehan The Register-Guard

Parents' key to online safety is communicating with their children, with a caveat: Kids must know that they are trusted, but they also must know that parents will monitor their computer usage, for their own safety.

This was the advice given more than a dozen parents attending a day-long Internet education and safety course Saturday in Eugene.

The parents also discovered there is no substitute for keeping up with technology. The 20th-century stereotype of a sexual predator luring young children into a car with the promise of candy is now joined by the 21st-century predator who finds victims in cyberspace.

Participants started with a basic course on computers, including searching the Internet, e-mail, chat rooms, and filtering and blocking programs. They also learned how predators stalk their victims in youth-oriented chat rooms, and that innocent-sounding Internet addresses sometimes have been set up instead for use as pornographic Web sites.

Parents need to become computer savvy if they want to prevent their children from becoming victims of criminals lurking in cyberspace, said Leanne Shirey, a 27-year veteran with the Seattle Police Department and a member of the Northwest Regional Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force, which investigates the sexual exploitation of minors via the Internet.

In her work, Shirey began seeing a disturbing trend: The parents of children who became victims of "cybercrime" frequently knew little or nothing about Internet safety. Believing that many such incidents could have been prevented, Shirey founded a computer safety workshop - "The Internet and Your Child" - in 1998. Her course has spread to 17 states as well as to Canada and China.

Saturday's seminar in Eugene was sponsored by Lane Community College's continuing education program and the Lane County Sheriff's Office, at no cost to participants.

"We want to give parents a real sense of control of the technology," Shirey said.

Parents should check their child's computer activities by examining the Web browser's history files, she said.

"Even if you don't do it, make sure your children know it's possible for you to know where they've been."

Some monitoring software operates in a "stealth mode" that records which Web sites a child visits, without blocking access. The software can record e-mails sent and received, as well as online chat sessions, Shirey said.

Parents' greatest concerns probably involve predators lurking in chat rooms. Online predators make children feel special, often serving as the child's first crush, she said.

Two years ago in Seattle, a 50-year-old man met an 11-year-old girl in a soccer chat room. They continued chatting for two months before meeting face to face. The man sexually molested the girl and photographed the assault, Shirey said.

On Saturday, participating parents seemed stunned to hear that their children could inadvertently stumble across adult Web sites while researching a topic for a U.S. history course.

Pointing out a related problem, Shirey said organizations also need to do a better job of safeguarding their members. For example, a church in Seattle listed the names, addresses, phone numbers and e-mail addresses of its members on its Web site, as well as the names, ages and e-mail addresses of members' children.

"This is a sexual predator's dream," Shirey said.

Parents often aren't aware of the trouble their kids can get into online, Lane County Sheriff's Sgt. Steve Sieczkowski said.

"Our ultimate goal is to show parents the basic principles of the computer because their children are computer literate," Sieczkowski said. "Simply understanding what their children are doing gives parents information to maybe see a red flag."

Mike and Renae Feldt of Cottage Grove said the workshop opened their eyes to the dark side of the Internet.

"We want to learn how to keep our kids safe," Renae Feldt said.

Hands-off parenting is not the answer, parent Dave Tate said. He and his wife, Cheryl, who live in Salem, have three children, ages 19, 15 and 12.

"They're computer savvy, while we're not. We need a little help," Tate said. "The innocence of our kids is being pounded on and that's truly mournful."

INTERNET SAFETY TIPS

Place the computer in a common area of the home with the screen facing toward the center of the room: Makes it easier to monitor online activities and eliminate secrets. A child using a computer in the bedroom is more easily targeted by a sexual predator than one using a computer in a common area of the home where parents can keep an eye on activities.

Educate yourself about computers and the Internet: It is so much a part of today's society that parents really don't have a choice. Children may know more about using the software and getting around on the Net, but parents have much more life experience and maturity than they do.

Be cautious of allowing chat room and IM (instant messenger) use: Limit your children's online contacts to people they know in the "real" world. Allowing them to chat with strangers is very risky. Never allow your child to meet someone he met in the online world. It is not worth the risk.

Teach children not to give out personal information: Not just "name, address, phone number," but other little clues about themselves such as "My mom will be home at 5:30." That can indicate not only when mom gets home, but that a child may be home alone before that time. This applies whether it is in a chat room, an online profile or a Web site page such as Myspace.com.

Set up family use rules and time limits: This is a great opportunity to have discussions about Internet usage and dangers. Get the kids involved in setting up the rules with you.

Utilize your Internet service provider's parental controls and the Internet Content Ratings filter built into Internet Explorer and Netscape: Consider using third-party software to limit sites and online activities. However, while these can help, don't put all your faith in them. The best "parental control" is you.

Don't download or upload pictures, music, videos or software programs without a parent's permission: Someone may be trying to gather more information about the child, or it may be an illegal or unauthorized download. At the least, it may be something that brings a virus into your home machine.