PUBLIC FORUM : SOUTHERN BAPTISTS' VIEW OF WIVES' DUTY GETS MIXED REVIEWS.

Spiritual roots, morality and goodness are at the essence of family values. The recent Southern Baptist pronouncements on the marriage relationship and family life echo biblical teaching and are not at all surprising to practicing believers.

First of all, let me say that the Bible teaches, in spirit, that husband and wife are a partnership, with the husband's role, as senior partner, to be kind, supportive, nurturing and caring, as well as providing. The wife's role is much the same, but not as a provider. Because she is not considered the head of the house, she is instructed not to be subservient but ``submissive'' to the authority of the senior partner, the husband. Of course, this notion is very difficult for many women who find ``submissive'' behavior abhorrent.

Traditional roles of husband and wives have changed greatly since the 1960s, when priorities turned upside down and women demanded equality with men in almost every arena of life.

Time was when a woman could find herself in making a home and raising children to be contributing members of society.

The lure of fame, recognition, material things and personal fulfillment have replaced the inner payoff of finding joy in homemaking. The home mortgage and educational costs add to the pressure that push more and more women from the role.

The breakdown of the family unit is the fault of the parents. Parenting is more work than many are willing to invest today. Family time carries a lower priority than much else. Any spiritual training/teaching is left completely to others, as is teaching a moral and ethical lifestyle and behavior.

- Don Clinton

Los Angeles 

Recently the Southern Baptists amended their statement of faith to reflect and emphasize the manner in which Christian men and women ought to live out their lives as husband and wife. The action was based upon sacred Scripture and directed toward Christians, and yet the reaction by the secular media and columnists is entirely out of proportion and without cause, reflecting a total absence of understanding how Christians are called to live out their baptismal promise.

Society will never be prepared to hear such pronouncements of sound Christian doctrine so long as the word of God remains unspoken in family life. From one generation to the next, the moral decay in the family caused by a lack of faith in God has produced men and women without faith.

- John A. Hladky

Van Nuys

I wish I hadn't read the Baptist article. What ridiculous nonsense about men taking leadership as if they alone have it.

Both spouses are to provide for, protect and lead the family. After all, both spouses are not always present when provisions, leadership and protection are needed.

Also, both are responsible at all times, or it isn't really a marriage. Does this apply to all the women in leadership at the Baptist churches? Oh, are there many women in leadership in Baptist churches? I wonder.

- Nellie Keller

Reseda

Male chauvinism is too heavy a load for a happy family and marriage to risk carrying around.

- Laverna Hoisington

North Hollywood

The government and the religionists of today should learn to keep their noses out of people's personal affairs, and we all would be a lot better off. It's about time that our high-and-mighty religious leaders start practicing some of their own teachings and learn to clean up their own back yard before wanting to clean up their neighbors' yard.

- Benjamin R. Laufer

Sherman Oaks

Someone once said there are three sides to every story: your side, my side and the truth. In this most recent commotion over the Southern Baptists' command that ``women be submissive to their husbands,'' I find that axiom valid.

The Southern Baptists are selecting a portion of the Bible and strongly suggesting that Baptists follow it. Aside from the verses supporting this, there are several that command husbands. While the wife is called to respect her husband and submit to his leadership, the husband is called to ``be as Christ was to the church.'' This means that great sacrifice and devoted love are required.

Missing from the media's attention is the forgotten fact that this command to wives does not mean men should or will ignore their wives' ideas and needs.

- Rick Yerrinton

Tujunga

From our president on down, 20th century American men have learned that there is no need for lifetime compatibility in the companionate model based on the subjective value or personal fulfillment.

By faking compatibility, these men pursue marriage as a short-term goal. Once the romance in the marriage fizzles, the partners can cheat on each other, numb their pain with various addictions, or move to new partners. The result has been a significant weakening of the primary building block of our nation, the family unit.

- R. Richards

Westlake Village

You have asked several pointed questions, which may lead many into a trap. We, as a nation, are responsible for the moral decay of our society because we have become more and more tolerant of what at one time was intolerable. Look at what was accepted 40 years ago and what is accepted today. Some changes were good, but I submit that a lot have been bad.

- David A. Whitelaw

Eagle Rock

I agree with Southern Baptists that the breakdown of the family is the No. 1 malady in our culture. I believe that artificial contraception is the root cause of the breakdown of the family unit. Since contraception became accepted in the 1930s, divorce and unwed parenthood have become increasingly more common. Couples who practice natural family planning have a very low divorce rate.

I do believe that if wives submit to their husbands, it will strengthen the family. But before a husband can be a leader, he must make sure that he is kind and just and worthy of his wife's respect.

I applaud the Southern Baptists for their courage in defending their countercultural beliefs. Thank you, Daily News, for asking this question. I am honored to be asked my opinion.

- Joan Noyes

Sunland

If the Southern Baptist leaders seriously think wives should submit to their husbands, then shouldn't each husband and wife be scored on a good standard IQ test first?

How about a common-sense test and an ethics test, too? If the wife scores higher than the husband, then the church should issue her an official exempt-from-submitting card. If the wife's scores are double the husband's or even higher, she receives an ``I'm the boss around here'' document.

Talk about dumbing down society.

- Dan Adam Goodman

Burbank

The Southern Baptists' affirmation of Ephesians' demand that wives must submit themselves to their husbands only underscores the unfortunate fact that far too many people in our society are still living by the archaic moral standards of our upper-Neolithic ancestors.

To be consistent, the Baptists must also condone slavery, since the book of Peter tells slaves to be submissive to their masters ``with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh.''

Religious morality is the great oxymoron of our time.

- Jon Nelson

Panorama City

I would like to say that I agree with the Baptists that the breakdown of the family is the No. 1 problem facing America today. The statistics clearly show, for those willing to accept the truth, that children thrive better in a two-parent home. This is not to say that this traditional unit is free of problems. It has simply proven, over the past 5,000 years, to be the best of all scenarios.

I think that when you read the Bible and understand the context in which wives are to submit to their husbands, and husbands submit to Christ, you will find that it only applies to those people who live Bible-centered lives. Otherwise, it has no meaning and should not be an issue with those who have no religious foundation.

Religion provides a basis for morality and values. It also serves as a framework for raising responsible children. The absence of religion only provides us with a world in which there is no purpose or direction. Ultimately, we all choose our own paths, and the path that America has chosen has led us to where we are today.

- Ben Griffes

Thousand Oaks 

I disagree with the idea that a breakdown of the family is a leading cause of ``decline in our culture.'' These are emotional phrases that religious groups use to create hysteria around a pseudoproblem that they reserve the right to define.

If there is any ``decline'' going on in our culture, it is probably more because people continue to rely on religion - with its promotion of rigid, one-size-fits-all, irrational beliefs and its promises of salvation from supernatural beings - rather than empower themselves to seek out and create solid, specific solutions to whatever problems they may have.

I am sure that there are many people who love being in heterosexual, monogamous, lifetime relationships that churches approve of, and I applaud their luck in finding such support for them. But if people find marriage or family doesn't work for them, is it really fair to blame them rather than the institutions? How many alternatives exist out there for them?

Perhaps we should start not by reinforcing marriage and family, but by setting aside these institutions and rethinking how else the needs of the people and their relationships can be met. Quoting passages from a 2,000-year-old book with arbitrary rules of morality is truly a step backward from solving anything.

- Stuart Bechman

Simi Valley 

I am a little surprised at the widespread coverage given to the statements of the Southern Baptists concerning marriage and family life.

Over thousands of years, those who love the Lord and acknowledge God's absolute sovereignty have accepted the verses in Ephesians, Chapter 5, concerning a wife's being subject to her own husband in everything. This can hardly be considered a new definition of marriage, as some in the media have suggested.

Further scriptural references to strengthening the family unit are given in the Ephesians concerning relations between parents and their children. Proverbs states: ``Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.''

Judging from the magnitude of juvenile crime, involvement with drugs and teen-age pregnancy, many parents have ignored this bit of scriptural wisdom.

The Bible has been referred to as a personal owner's manual because of the wisdom it contains about living our daily lives. It certainly has much to say about family values and the integrity of the family unit.

- F.T. Smith

Woodland Hills

Who's responsible for the breakdown of the family unit? Before anything like that can occur, simple logic tells us the values and moral principles that held the family unit together in the first place would have to be eroded. Otherwise the unit stays intact.

One would then simply trace back to see if there was a point where such a downturn took place. Such a point does exist. It began in the 1960s after the Community Mental Health Services Act was implemented in our schools.

This brought an unprecedented infusion of psychiatric and psychological behavioral theory into our public schools. The premise of these theories is that, to avoid any feelings of low self-esteem, the concepts of right and wrong must be eliminated from the thought process.

The removal of basic moral values, done in the name of preserving students' self-esteem or for any other reason, appears to be giving us a major breakdown in the family unit and society, and we are probably now only beginning to see the consequences.

- James C. Rego 

Valley Village

I don't know what world Christopher Chul (Public Forum, June 15) lives in, but it sure isn't this one.

Morality doesn't depend on a belief in an outside source, such as God, but on a respect for oneself and others. That comes from being treated with respect by parents, teachers and others. Try it.

- Diane Silver

Arleta

Let me offer some positive thoughts on the Southern Baptists' recent pronouncement.

First of all, no instruction is ever given to one group in Scripture without addressing the other. In actuality, the men were addressed first. And what was the great command issued? Answer: ``Husbands, love your wives'' - not take command of cooking, raising children, doing the shopping, balancing the checkbook. It's not even take command of doing the dreaded laundry.

``Husbands love your wives'' - what a succinct, all-encompassing enjoinder. Why, how could a husband who really loved his wife commit her to anything degrading, abusive, derogatory or nonparticipative?

- Richard S. Zeisel

Chatsworth