PROGRAM HELPS KIDS COPE; YOUNG RELATIVES OF CANCER SUFFERERS HAVE SUPPORT GROUP.

Byline: Sylvia L. Oliande Staff Writer

Only a few short months ago, Taylor Woellert's grandfather was able to take long hikes with her near his Yosemite home, run with her in the mountains and make toys for her in his wood shop.

But since he's been sick with lung cancer and moved into 7-year-old Taylor's Thousand Oaks home, he's been too weak from his treatments for those kinds of activities, said Taylor's mother, Joanne Woellert.

So Woellert joined her daughter in completing Kids Circle, a four-week session designed to help children cope with the fact that their parents or grandparents have cancer.

``Since she's been in the group, she's learned other ways the two of them can have fun,'' she added. ``They play games and do things that can be done sitting down.''

Joanne said she brought her daughter to the group because she was unsure how much to tell Taylor about her grandfather's illness after he was diagnosed in July. And she wanted to know how to make the changes in the household as easy as possible.

The Kids Circle sessions are sponsored by the Wellness Community, a Westlake Village-based organization that counsels cancer patients to deal with their own trials in fighting the illness.

The need for a children's group became clear when patients began asking for advice on how best to tell their children what is going on with them and to handle the fear the youngsters have about it.

``This is a family disease; it's not just an individual disease,'' said Joyce Boucher, Kids Circle program coordinator and facilitator of the program's parent group.

The program is divided into three different groups: one for adults and two for children, separated into ages 5 to 7, and 8 to 12. The meetings are facilitated by licensed psychotherapists and are held on four consecutive Saturdays in the fall and spring.

The program, which began in March 1998, uses art and music to bring out the issues the children are dealing with, some of which may be causing them to withdraw or act out.

During their sessions, parents and grandparents learn how to take care of themselves so that they can be better prepared to take care of their children, and they learn how to answer difficult questions the child may pose.

In the children's sessions, the group deals with the changes in the family - some of which aren't altogether unpleasant, including having the parent home more often - as well as the ability to voice their concerns and fears.

``We know with the adults, they feel less alone when they are in a group,'' Boucher said. ``There are other people walking in their shoes. The same is true for kids.

``They feel they are different and really alone when they don't know other kids who are dealing with this,'' she added. ``But in the group, when you see that there is someone else your age dealing with the same thing, it's very healing. It makes you feel much less alone and different.''

Carson Hunnewell, 9, said she learned that the way to cope with her mother's illness is to talk about her feelings, take care of herself and for her family to love each other.

``(The group) has been fun,'' the Valencia girl said. ``It's helpful talking about things that I didn't think people would understand. I thought I was the only one who felt this way.''

During the children's group session on Saturday, Carson shared ways she and her parents cope with the sadness they have about her mother Joelle's breast cancer - including telling jokes to each other from a book and spending time together.

Joelle Hunnewell, 37, has been battling the illness since Carson was 3 years old. She has been in remission several times but has had a total of three occurrences - the most recent diagnosis coming in July.

Since it is only a monthlong program, organizers said that families will not be able to solve all of their issues during the sessions. But the object is to teach children and adults coping skills and communication skills that they can use long after the sessions end.

``We hope that they feel more comfortable talking about cancer, asking the questions they need to ask,'' Boucher said. ``We hope the kids are less fearful. My main goal with parents and grandparents is they leave . . . with a greater degree of comfort and confidence than they had when they walked in.''

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PHOTO (color) Carson Hunnewell, 9, and her mom, Joelle, work on a piece of art together at Kids Circle, a four-week Wellness Community support session for young relatives of cancer sufferers.

Joe Binoya/Special to the Daily News